Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

Gas Chemistry, Heat, Physics, Technology, Amusement, Gender

    Discusses the design of ladies' dresses seen at the recent imperial baptismal ball in Paris. Questions whether air tubes within dresses are effective at keeping the wearer cool because 'Air is a bad conductor, and when confined, arrests the passage of heat. Much caloric is generated during a quadrille, and its escape would be opposed by the air-tubes'. Observes that dresses may be lightened by distending them with hydrogen rather than atmospheric air, but warns that since hydrogen is inflammable, this could have explosive results.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Disease, Amusement, Sanitation, Public Health, Periodicals

    Playing on the double-entendre of the word 'bill', discusses the pleasing news that 'every play-bill' of the week has presented 'a clean bill of health', with practically no cases of illness at any of the major London theatres. Thanks the press for making the theatres properly ventilated and reports on the healthy state of 'the Victoria' and 'the Surrey' on the 'other side of the water'.

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Crime, Medical Practitioners, Medical Treatment, Mesmerism, Charlatanry, Miracle, Commerce

    Discusses a heated exchange between John Elliotson Elliotson, John (1791–1868) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> and Mr Clarkson Clarkson, Mr (Old Bailey barrister) (fl. 1856) PU1/31/2/2
Close   View the register entry >>, an Old Bailey Old Bailey Sessions Court
Close   View the register entry >> barrister, during a manslaughter trial. In cross-examining Elliotson on the effect of prolonged exposure to a shower-bath (which evidently played a part in the death of the victim), Clarkson, in Punch's opinion, made an insulting allusion to Elliotson's interest in mesmerism. Noting that Elliotson, 'in common with many other men of science', believes in the reality of mesmeric phenomena, argues that 'whether Mesmerism is a fact or a delusion, DR. ELLIOTSON is, at any rate, a learned and skilful physician'. Thinks ridiculing Elliotson on this subject is like mocking John H Newman Newman, John Henry (1801–90) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> 'on the subject of miracles'. Suggests that Clarkson knew that Elliotson 'sacrificed fees to scientific enthusiasm [mesmerism]' but probably believed that anyone who sacrifices fees must be mad. Concludes by noting Elliotson's able response to somebody of 'the calibre of the inferior classes'.

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Quackery, Medical Treatment

    Defines a physical impossibility as: 'To expect that one-half of the miracles promised by a Quack Pill will ever be performed'.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Veterinary Science, Medical Practitioners, Railways, Animal Behaviour

    Discusses a veterinary surgeon's post-mortem examination of the 'noble steed' of William G Craven Craven, William George (1835–1906) WBI
Close   View the register entry >>, which he raced against a railway engine for over an hour.

Genre:

Regular Feature, Reportage, Drollery

Subjects:

Public Health, Government, Politics, Vaccination

    Reports on the House of Commons' House of Commons
Close   View the register entry >> rejection of the Public Health Bill and the plea by the chief of the Central Board of Health Central Board of Health
Close   View the register entry >>, William F Cowper Cowper, William Francis, 1st Baron Mount-Temple (1811–88) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>, to extend the life of his much-abused board. Also reports on the Commons' rejection of both the Vaccination Bill and a Board of Health proposal. (21)

Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Subjects:

Photography, Invention, Chemistry

    The 'Hint for a Photographer's Tent' shows a man wearing a very large hat, from the rim of which hang jars of photographic chemicals. 'Our Photographer invents a tent' shows the same figure completely hidden by a cylindrical tent.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, Health, Narcotics, Gender, Government, Commerce

    Notes that 'A paternal Government [...] permits the anxious mother to physic' sickly babies, and since the 'syrup is sanctified by a stamp [tax]', the Chancellor of the Exchequer, George C Lewis Lewis, Sir George Cornewall, 2nd Baronet (1806–63) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>, smiles every time a mother administers the medicine. Having likened men to 'mischievous, roaring babies' in the introduction, the author describes wives in Bolton who administer certain substances to their 'inebriated' husbands and one wife who 'accelerated the death' of her husband in this way and is now 'awaiting an inquiry'. Explains that the substances are called 'quietners' and that wives 'were constant customers'. Urges the government and druggists to 'put out an external sign of their interior traffic'.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, Medical Practitioners, Government, Politics, Commerce

    Relishes the rejection of the medical bill and argues that 'The only Medical Bill likely to do the doctors much good is that little Bill which, we trust, they will get settled for them at Christmas'.

Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

Education, Natural History

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Practitioners, Medical Treatment, Human Development, Class

    Discusses an advertisement placed by a lady for a physician who specialises in treating stammering. Wonders why the lady with these qualities should want to 'RECEIVE into her house one or two LITTLE GIRLS of the upper classes', and suggests a possible connection between stammering and the aristocracy.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Education, Government, Mechanics, Chemistry

    Discusses criticism by the Chancellor of the Exchequer, George C Lewis Lewis, Sir George Cornewall, 2nd Baronet (1806–63) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>, of the literary examinations for the subordinate class of civil servants employed in the Customs Customs
Close   View the register entry >> and other offices. Suggests that 'Tide-waiters' might be expected to have knowledge of 'the theory of tides', while excise men should know 'hydrostatics and chemistry'.

Genre:

Extract, Essay

Subjects:

Health, Domestic Economy, Public Health, Disease, Sanitation

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Railways, Technology, Health, Public Health

    Following a report in The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
Close   View the register entry >>, attacks railway companies for the cramped conditions of carriages.

Genre:

Advertisement, Spoof

Subjects:

Animal Behaviour, Zoological Gardens

Institutions mentioned:

Zoological Society—Gardens Zoological Society of London —Gardens
Close   View the register entry >>

Genre:

Serial, Catechism, Drollery

Subjects:

Quackery, Medical Practitioners, Medical Treatment, Commerce, Skill

    Continues the series of proverbs and maxims that attack quackery and the avarice and fraudulence of medical practitioners. For example, 'Those cases pay the best in which there is nothing the matter with the patient'.

Genre:

Serial, Catechism, Drollery

Subjects:

Quackery, Medical Treatment, Medical Practitioners

    List of proverbs and maxims that attack quackery and the avarice, fraudulence, and incompetence of medical practitioners. For example, 'Wine "Doctored" is only medicine in disguise' and 'A Doctor knows the human body as a cabman knows a town—he is acquainted with all the great thoroughfares and small turnings, he is intimate with all the principal edifices, but he cannot tell you what is going on inside any one of them'.

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Public Health, Disease, Medical Practitioners, Supernaturalism

    Notes how the 'Public Health Bill's ghost, all white, / Sat on COWPER'S Cowper, William Francis, 1st Baron Mount-Temple (1811–88) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> back astride, / And DR. JENNER'S Jenner, Edward (1749–1823) DSB
Close   View the register entry >> outraged sprite / Shook a lancet at his side!' (47).

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Monstrosities, Zoology, Charlatanry, Superstition

    Discusses a letter to The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
Close   View the register entry >> in which the correspondent describes the appearance in Walthamstow of a 'curious specimen of natural history' which had been heard 'quacking similar to that of a duck', but which turned out to be a duck-billed platypus. Thinks the assumption that such a species quacks gives the report 'an air of quackery' and suggests that the animal in question is a canard species of duck 'which is believed in by nobody except a goose'.

Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Health, Disease, Nutrition

    Suffering from a wide range of common medical ailments, the spoof letter-writer begs Mr Punch to tell him the location of 'those more salubrious spots than Hastings, Brighton, the Isle of Wight, &c. alluded to by the REGISTRAR-GENERAL'. Stresses that he wishes to know such locations so that he does not have to renounce the 'delights of the table', a habit which he recognises as a cause of illness.

Genre:

Notes, Spoof

Subjects:

Medical Practitioners, Medical Treatment, Gender

Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Patronage, War, Scientific Practitioners

    Criticises the administration of Henry J Temple (3rd Viscount Palmerston) Temple, Henry John, 3rd Viscount Palmerston (1784–1865) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> for distributing the annual Civil List pension of £1,200 to 'science, literature, and art', rather than military heroes and their widows. Insists that 'The cockpit and the trench have dearer claims on the annual bounty nationally voted for science, literature, and art'.

Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

[Trident], pseud.  [H R Howard] Howard, Henry R (fl. 1853) Spielmann 1895
Close   View the register entry >> Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
Close   View the register entry >>

Subjects:

Photography, War

Institutions mentioned:

Army Army
Close   View the register entry >>

    Subtitled 'Disgust of a gallant Crimean Hero on seeing a "negative proof" of himself', shows a burly soldier pointing with disgust at a photographic negative, whilst the photographer backs away from him nervously.

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Telegraphy, Technology, Internationalism

    Responds to a New York Times New York Times (1896–1900+) BUCOP
Close   View the register entry >> article reporting the 'earnest' commencement of an Anglo-American electric telegraph. Hopes to receive 'all manner of communications' from this telegraph, or that the telegraph 'may lie securely on its ocean bed'.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Ornithology, Animal Behaviour, Superstition, Language

    Discusses an advertisement for two birds that allegedly speak French and English. Points out that 'talking birds have long ceased to be regarded as impossible entities', but that a bird 'with pretensions to the rank of a linguist is still looked on as a phenomenon'.

Genre:

Serial, Catechism, Spoof

Subjects:

Disease, Medical Treatment, Quackery, Medical Practitioners

    List of maxims and proverbs that warn against the dangers of medicines, quackery, and the shady practices of medical practitioners.

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Technology, Progress, Telegraphy, Railways, Steam-power, Imperialism, Archaeology, Ancient Authorities, Commerce

    Ponders the 'daring' progress made by 'screw and the sail', 'our [telegraph] wires overbearing', and 'our levelling rail'. Notes the cable 'That's to bind North America fast to our shore' and that, 'thanks to O'SHAUGHNESSY O'Shaughnessy, Sir William Brooke (1809–89) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> [the director-general of telegraphs in India] India is able / To change thought in an hour from Madras to Lahore'. Describes how the 'steam-giant' has bound Europe and is 'forsaking' the New World. Anticipates some of the exotic cargo that will be transported down the proposed line to the Euphrates: instead of 'trucks with the freight of horn'd cattle', envisions 'Weekly cargoes of huge wingèd bulls', and foresees that the Sphinx will no longer be able to keep her 'secrets' in 'her bosom'. Concludes by warning that technological progress and plundering the earth's precious metals will be in 'vain [...] Unless reverence and love join to wipe off the soiling / Of toil from our hearts, and of gain from our hands'.

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, Physiology, Light, Disease, Natural Law, Gender

    Criticises an advertisement for a treatment to produce brilliant eyes. Warns that the substance paralyses the iris and that nature, who 'never made the iris to have tricks of this kind played with her', would resent habitual use of this treatment and cause bodily disease. Thinks foolish young ladies may try it 'for the benefit of science', but thinks the female eye is bright enough 'without recourse to belladonna'.

Genre:

Serial, Reportage, Drollery

Subjects:

Exhibitions, Progress, Religion, Publishing, Railways, Telegraphy, War

    Having described the display showing the military exploits of King Nimroud at the Crystal Palace Crystal Palace
Close   View the register entry >>—a display ending in a 'tableau of a stormed city, in which everybody is shooting, scalding, stabbing, slashing, and smashing everybody'—notes that despite '3000 years of progress (including ever so many religions, printing, railways, Bible societies, electric telegraphs, and Punch), the most enlightened nations of the world have just been but making material for another picture of exactly the same world'.

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Disease, Public Health, Sanitation, Amusement

    Regards a new commission appointed to judge Parisian plays as a 'dramatic board of health, who have to wade through all the filth which accumulates in the various moral cesspools—under the name of theatres—in the course of a year'. Extends this analogy, noting, for example, that it is not surprising that the British stage is 'vitiated when there is nothing but poison in the source from which it is supplied [Paris]', and hoping to see 'a stream of pure sentiment [...] running like a little current of disinfecting fluid through the great dramatic sewers'.

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Medical Practitioners, Heroism, Gender, War

    A eulogy celebrating Florence Nightingale's Nightingale, Florence (1820–1910) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> return to England. Stresses the way in which 'Saint FLORENCE' went out to the disease-ridden and war-torn Crimea without any ceremony and therefore, like 'Most blessed things come silently, and silently depart'. Notes that 'When titles, pensions, orders, with random hand are showered / 'Tis well that [...] she still should walk undowered', for there is no 'title like her own sweet name' or 'order like the halo by her good deeds'. Upholds 'her graciousness to those whose road to death / Was dark and doubtful', and praises the sweetness of her voice 'in the darkness when all songs else are still'. Urges that she be left 'to the still comfort the saints know that have striven', and contrasts the 'honours' that she will receive in 'heaven' to 'earthly honours'.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Practitioners, Heroism

People mentioned:

Florence Nightingale Nightingale, Florence (1820–1910) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>

Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Subjects:

Domestic Economy, Invention

    Subtitled 'A Plan Proposed to Render the Present Stuff and Immense Dress Useful as Well as Ornamental (?)', shows a large circular railed platform attached to a woman's dress. Two children look out from the dress, and play with a hoop in the ring.

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Palaeontology, Discovery, Taxonomy, Cultural Geography, Nationalism

    Responds to an article in the Constitutionnel Constitutionnel (1816–70) BUCOP
Close   View the register entry >> reporting the discovery of a 'fossil ape'. Intrigued to note that the author boasts about the claim that more fossil apes have been found in France than any other country, but points out that 'the French scientific world' appears to have accepted one half of François M A Voltaire's Voltaire, François Marie Arouet de (1694–1778) DSB
Close   View the register entry >> quip that his countrymen combined 'the ape and the tiger in their disposition'. Believes that 'monkeyism or apishness' are national characters.

Genre:

Illustration

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Subjects:

Medical Practitioners, Heroism, Gender, War

    An illustration of Florence Nightingale Nightingale, Florence (1820–1910) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> which shows her wearing a band labelled 'Scutari' and supporting a wounded soldier. Both figures stand on a plinth which is carved with an engraving of the Christian parable of the good Samaritan.

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Natural Law, Nutrition, Providence, Temperance

    Evidently written from the perspective of a yokel, laments the quality of beer in the hot season, pointing out that while 'Of perwision of Natur' we oftentimes hear, / The contrairy whereof is experienced in beer'. When his friend from the 'Band o' Hope' explained that this state of affairs was 'Natur's design', he asks 'How is it as Natur' don't damidge Port wine' and other drinks. Concludes with the observation that 'There's a many more matter up there, over head, / As we never dreams of, and also down here, / And one on 'um is this disorder o'beer'.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Zoological Gardens, War, Nationalism

    Discusses the widespread belief that the lions had gone for ever from the Surrey Zoological Gardens Surrey Literary, Scientific and Zoological Institution—Gardens
Close   View the register entry >>, and notes an exhibition of courageous and physically highly-developed lions that will be unsurpassed—a display of the British soldiers of the Crimea.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Metallurgy, Invention, Patronage, Industry

    Attacks 'Iron Trade' chiefs for neglecting the 'indigent' relatives of the inventor Henry Cort Cort, Henry (1741?–1800) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>.

Genre:

Serial, Exam Paper, Spoof

Subjects:

Industry, Invention

People mentioned:

Humphry Davy Davy, Sir Humphry, Baronet (1778–1829) DSB ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>

Genre:

Serial, Reportage, Drollery

Subjects:

Palaeontology, Exhibitions, Hunting, Comparative Philology

    Claims that on entering the 'German Court from the Byzantine', the visitor will see an 'equestrian statue [...] of a knight in armour spearing a Pterodactyle, or flying saurian'. Adds that the 'warrior is, of course, the celebrated ST. GEORGE; the reptile the equally celebrated dragon'. (91)

Genre:

Advertisement, Spoof

Subjects:

Pharmaceuticals, Narcotics, Medical Treatment, Domestic Economy

    Advertises 'Tasteful Designs for the Night Lights of Chemists and Apothecaries' which comprise 'every variety of Death's-head and Cross-bones', thus allowing distressed wives and inebriated husbands to find 'the means of "quietness"' more easily.

See also:

Anon, ''Quietners'', Punch, 31 (1856), 22

Genre:

Reportage, Drollery

Subjects:

Zoological Gardens

People mentioned:

David W Mitchell Mitchell, David William (1813–59) WBI
Close   View the register entry >>

Institutions mentioned:

Zoological Society—Gardens Zoological Society of London —Gardens
Close   View the register entry >>

Genre:

Advertisement, Spoof

Subjects:

Anatomy, Education, Gender, Lecturing, Amusement, Sex

    Spoof advertisement from 'MRS. SEXTON, the Popular Lecturer to Ladies at DR. KAHN'S Museum Kahn's (Dr) Museum [of anatomy], Leicester Square
Close   View the register entry >>', who announces her intention to open a 'summer class of anatomy at the sea-side', where the principal novelty will be the use of 'living figures' rather than 'wax models' to demonstrate 'truths'. Announces: 'The first lecture will take place in the open air on the sands at Ramsgate, and will be carried on during such time as the gentlemen remain in the sea, bathing'.

Genre:

Serial, Catechism, Spoof

Subjects:

Medical Practitioners, Medical Treatment, Pharmaceuticals, Health, Charlatanry, Quackery

    List of maxims and proverbs that challenge the efficacy of medicines and the methods of medical practitioners. For example: 'A man may have the "constitution of a horse", but that's no reason why a Doctor should treat him like an ass'.

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Pharmaceuticals, Medical Treatment, Commerce, Medical Practitioners

    Discusses the attempt by the assistants of chemists and druggists to gain the right to close the shops early and take a holiday on Sunday. Agreeing that such practitioners should not 'be subjected to perpetual pestle-and-mortardom', explains that the proposal is to free them from the 'atmosphere' of toxic chemicals. Stresses that the need to cater to those who 'really' require medicines after 8 p.m. and on Sundays has been met by the presence of somebody on the premises. Concludes by explaining that long opening hours are commercially unprofitable for chemists and druggists.

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Chemistry, Lecturing, Medical Treatment, Gender, Physiology, Health, Morality

    A spoof report on Professor Snuffin's lecture concerning the 'peculiar properties of salt as developed morally and physically in lady-visitors generally to all marine abiding places'. The professor explained that saline solution entering a woman confers 'upon the female system, a hardness and rigidity of fibre, moral, and physical' that is not otherwise observed. Remarks that this phenomenon explains why women sit 'inconveniently near to the waters in the swimming time of the day'.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Mathematics, Education, Amusement

    Describes how a Senior Wrangler made calculations at Astley's Royal Amphitheatre Astley's Royal Amphitheatre, Lambeth
Close   View the register entry >> concerning the length of the material used in making the dresses worn by 'six young ladies' present.

Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Exploration, Travel, Botany, Geology, Physical Geography, Aeronautics, Domestic Economy

    The fictional narrator describes his experiences of 'scaling the top-most height of one of the summits of the mountain chain of houses in the newly-discovered portion of the Rue de Rivoli'—a description which emphasises the inappropriateness of describing an exploration of Parisian landscape in the style of travel-writing. For example, it notes that this region contains 'the luxuriant flora of the demi-monde, recently discovered by the 'eminent naturalist, M. DUMAS, fils Dumas, Alexandre, fils (1824–1895) CBD
Close   View the register entry >>'. During the ascent, the narrator and his companions looked 'down through a gap' and discovered, 'at the back of a mountain, an abyss, of a quadrangular form, at the bottom of which [they] could see a faint glimmer of light, and curious sounds ascended', which the narrator and his companion regarded as 'Neptunian rather than volcanic' in origin, and were like 'water escaping from the waste-pipe of a cistern'. Later the narrator and his companions met with an 'avalanche' of crinoline (presumably from a washing line), 'vegetation' consisting of 'gerania and fuschia', and the smell of boiled greens.

Genre:

Advertisement, Spoof; Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

W, pseud.  [T Harrington Wilson] Wilson, T Harrington (fl. 1853) Spielmann 1895
Close   View the register entry >> Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
Close   View the register entry >>

Subjects:

Crime, Invention

    Depicts and explains a 'Patent Antigarotte Collar' which consists of a collar to the outside of which sharp spikes are affixed.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Steamships, Scientific Practitioners, Medical Practitioners, Heroism, Nationalism

    Responds to a voyage of Emperor Napoleon III Napoleon III, Emperor of France (originally Louis Napoléon (Charles Louis Napoléon Bonaparte)) (1808–73) CBD
Close   View the register entry >> in the French steamer 'Le Newton' Le Newton, ship
Close   View the register entry >>, named in honour of Isaac Newton Newton, Sir Isaac (1642–1727) DSB
Close   View the register entry >>. Observes: 'After we have replied to the compliment by launching a Pascal or a La Place [i.e. after Blaise Pascal Pascal, Blaise (1623–62) DSB
Close   View the register entry >> and Pierre S, marquis de Laplace Laplace, Pierre-Simon, marquis de (1749–1827) DSB
Close   View the register entry >>] we may ourselves do honour to English genius and English devotion'. Adds: 'We may then have a Francis Bacon three-decker and a Florence Nightingale frigate', named after Francis Bacon (1st Viscount St Alban) Bacon, Francis, 1st Viscount St Alban (1561–1626) DSB ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> and Florence Nightingale Nightingale, Florence (1820–1910) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Monstrosities

    Discusses a 'beautiful naïve letter' from a 'Young Lady' requesting that a naval officer return with the sea serpent.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Astrology, Charlatanry, Superstition, Class, Progress

    Discusses an advertisement headed 'Prognostic Astronomy' in which E Procter Procter, E (astrologer), of 2 Waterloo Road, London (fl.1856) PU1/31/15/1
Close   View the register entry >>, of '2, Waterloo Road', offers predictions and boasts that he correctly predicted the fate of Emperor Napoleon III Napoleon III, Emperor of France (originally Louis Napoléon (Charles Louis Napoléon Bonaparte)) (1808–73) CBD
Close   View the register entry >>. Surprised to find the advertisement in a periodical read by the 'superior' classes—the Morning Post Morning Post and Daily Advertising Pamphlet (1772–1900+) Waterloo Directory
Close   View the register entry >>. Believes there is 'enough folly and credulity in the world of fashion to supply an astrological impostor with a remunerative number of dupes', and insists that the appearance of the advertisement in this publication shows 'Superstition in the Nineteenth Century', which is 'exemplified by rustics consulting witches'.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Botanical Gardens, Ornithology, Animal Behaviour, Amusement

    Reports on the migration of the ducks and aquatic birds of St James's Park St James's Park
Close   View the register entry >> to several metropolitan locations, including a 'charming little watering place' provided for them by William J Hooker Hooker, Sir William Jackson (1785–1865) DSB ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> at Royal Botanical Gardens, Kew Royal Botanical Gardens, Kew
Close   View the register entry >>. Discusses visitors' enjoyment of the birds arising from the fact that the birds have been so 'wonderfully improved since they have been billing and Kewing in the country'.

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Race, Human Species, War, Morality, Religion, Crime, Unbelief

    Ironically apostrophizes slave-owners of the southern United States of America concerning the question whether 'niggers' are 'Part of the family of Man' or 'the kind of apes / Most like us in their ways and shapes'. Notes the willingness of southern slave-owners to fight for the right to keep black slaves like livestock, and asks whether slave-owners should eat their slaves given that 'they are brutes'. Ironically asserts that the confidence of slave-owners has shaken his faith in the black races being human: notes that slave-owners must know that, if their slaves were human, they would be spurning the 'eternal laws' of justice in their treatment of them, and asserts: 'You to that fiat, then, appeal, / By which o'er animals Man rules: / Or else you must be wretched fools'. Concludes with the conundrum: 'Unless our consciences deceive, / And all is false that we believe, / And no eternal laws exist, / And Wisdom is an Atheist'.

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Phrenology, Commerce, Human Species, Providence, Morality

    Noting the public's need for a more satisfactory means of gauging the trustworthiness of bankers, announces the formation of the 'Phrenological Banking Company' whose directors will 'consist of individuals whose Heads are highly developed in the moral and intellectual regions'. Adds that casts of the bankers' heads will be displayed next to those of criminals to emphasise the trustworthy phrenological features of the bankers. Interprets the notorious baldness of bankers to be 'a provision of Nature' for helping determine the virtues of somebody to whom one is entrusting large sums of money.

Genre:

Serial, Catechism, Drollery

Subjects:

Health, Medical Practitioners, Medical Treatment, Quackery, Commerce

    List of maxims and proverbs that criticise medical treatments, 'medical botany', and the competition between quacks and genuine medical practitioners. For example: 'One Physician is better than two, but three are fatal', and, since 'Wise Persons [...] go to a Physician' and 'fools go to a Quack [...,] the large disproportion between the two classes explains why so many Quacks make their fortune while many a clever physician starves'.

Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Cruelty, Animal Behaviour, Crime, Cultural Geography

    The fictional narrator introduces himself to Mr Punch as Bil Burn 'which wollpd is donkey wot woodent go an was ad up afor the beke and Fine in consekwens'. Describes the punishments received by his friends for cruelty to animals and laments the fact that the situation was not more like that in France, where the 'HEMPERER Napoleon III, Emperor of France (originally Louis Napoléon (Charles Louis Napoléon Bonaparte)) (1808–73) CBD
Close   View the register entry >> and HEMPERESS [...] ave been setin the Good Hexampel to their Subjiz' by attending 'that trewly rashanal and improvin Specktackle a Spannish bul Fite'. Having pointed out that both bulls and horses were killed after this spectacle, complains that 'in this onappy Kuntry u carnt wopp one Hoss evern to make im go without been Punisht for Cruelty', and wants Mr Punch to urge the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
Close   View the register entry >> to 'not go on no longer a going of it the way they do'. Warns that the punishment for cruelty to animals threatens Anglo-French relations.

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Astrology, Quackery, Charlatanry, Crime, Prognostication, Morality

    Attacks the ways in which astrologers have 'come out in their Almanacs in October', notably the fact that 'They will commit themselves to very little' and that 'they let out their prophecies furtively, and then walk off hastily', like 'thieves in the street'. Explains, however, that the approach of Robert C Smith ('Raphael') Smith, Robert Cross ('Raphael') (1795–1832) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> has apparently changed greatly since the days when he 'encountered the baton of Mr. Punch': now his 'stars are all in a muddle, they "afflict one another", and "rush to combination"'. Thinks Raphael's predictions are 'very sad' and supports this claim with the flimsy evidence of the alleged 'fulfilment' of prophecies concerning affairs of state and a murder. Takes this opportunity to inveigh against 'an astrologer of no merit', Mr Harrison Harrison, Mr (astrologer, of Leeds) (fl. 1856) PU1/31/17/1
Close   View the register entry >> of Leeds. Objects to Raphael's prophecy that in July 'A distinguished lady suffers severe affliction', but responds with: 'What do our readers think the glorious orbs of Heaven stooped from their majesty' to fulfil 'this augury' of Princess Victoria's Victoria, Princess Royal, German Empress, consort of Frederick III (1840–1901) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> sleeve catching fire. Takes even more offence at Raphael's prediction that Queen Victoria's Victoria, Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, and Empress of India (1819–1901) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> reign is nearly over. Regards this as 'brutal and wanton insolence' from an 'offensive quack'. Believes that the question of how far Raphael has 'committed the offence of "Imagining" the death of the Sovereign, SIR ALEXANDER COCKBURN Cockburn, Sir Alexander James Edmund (1802–80) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> [the Lord Chief Justice of England] must decide', but wishes to see the astrologer whipped and sentenced to 'three months of hard labour' for 'dirty liberties' and selling 'trash by outraging decency and feeling'.

Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Medical Practitioners, Heroism

    Following a report in the Court Journal Court Journal (1829–1900+) Waterloo Directory
Close   View the register entry >>, claims to be 'bitterly disappointed' with Florence Nightingale Nightingale, Florence (1820–1910) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> for not behaving like a 'public character', by failing to give public addresses, preside at tea-meetings, and distribute prizes to children. Complains that he had looked forward to reading interviews with her and hearing anecdotes about her 'sayings and doings'.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Botany, Natural History, Physiology, Invention

    Discusses the excitement caused among the 'fair sex' by an advertisement in The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
Close   View the register entry >> for a 'Creosoting Plant'. Speculates on the botanical classification, the creosote-production mechanism, flowering characteristics, and odour of the plant. Imagines that the advertiser must have been 'Driven almost frantic' by questions regarding the plant's characteristics.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Zoological Gardens, Animal Behaviour, Amusement

    Discussing novelty in theatres, observes that '"novelty, is after all, the true secret of public attraction", as the guinea pig at the Zoological Society Gardens Zoological Society of London —Gardens
Close   View the register entry >> with a new farrow every moon, squeaks contemptuously of the lioness with a single cub in "months and years"'.

Genre:

Song, Drollery

Subjects:

Aeronautics, Travel, Astronomy, Extra-Terrestrial Life

    Urges his 'dearest' to dress so that with her skirt 'inflated' with 'gas from the Works', they can 'fly to the Moon'. Observes that the lunar trip cannot happen owing to the absence of 'atmospheric air' on the moon and warns that on attempting to go there 'we soon, / Should be smothered without respiration'. Ponders the question 'How breathes the Man in the Moon', and supposes that he must live under a different 'state of things'.

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Astrology, Charlatanry, Crime

    Reports that the astrologer, Mr Harrison Harrison, Mr (astrologer, of Leeds) (fl. 1856) PU1/31/17/1
Close   View the register entry >> of Leeds, has not fulfilled Punch's request (in Anon, 'Homeopathic Globules (Seventh Dose)', Punch, 31 (1856), 151) to 'kick' Robert C Smith ('Raphael') Smith, Robert Cross ('Raphael') (1795–1832) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>, because he is involved in a trial for fraud.

Genre:

Reportage, Drollery

Subjects:

Adulteration, Language

    Notes that a medical student has pointed out that we should not be surprised to discover that tradesmen adulterate goods, since the Lancet's Lancet (1823–1900+) Waterloo Directory
Close   View the register entry >> Analytical Sanitary Commission Lancet—Analytical Sanitary Commission
Close   View the register entry >> has shown that the word trade is derived from 'tradere—to betray or deceive'.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Zoological Gardens, Amusement

Institutions mentioned:

Zoological Society—Gardens Zoological Society of London —Gardens
Close   View the register entry >>

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Transport, Invention, Public Health, Progress, Exhibitions

    Expresses boredom at newspaper reports of the imminent arrival of a new omnibus and treats as 'pure fiction' the report of an exhibition of a new omnibus at Stoke Newington—an omnibus that is claimed to be of considerable length and breadth, to have extensive passenger space and decent ventilation, and to be extremely 'light' and 'springy'. Denies having faith in any 'improvement in our old constitutional 'bus' and tries to find reasons for retaining the older invention.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Zoological Gardens, Display

    Describes the large alligator received by David W Mitchell Mitchell, David William (1813–59) WBI
Close   View the register entry >> of the Zoological Society Gardens Zoological Society of London —Gardens
Close   View the register entry >>, and the popularity of this new exhibit among people but not the alligator's rivals, the hippopotami.

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Narcotics, Physiology, Temperance

    Describing the sudorific powers of various substances and the sweating endured by medical students during qualifying examinations, discusses the case of the statesman Lawrence Heyworth Heyworth, Lawrence (1786–1872) WBI
Close   View the register entry >>, who became so doubtful about his commitment to teetotalism that 'the perspiration burst out of him like a flood'. Surmises that his abstinence and excessive sweating have combined to prevent him from dying from a 'dangerous illness' or fear.

Genre:

Introduction; Table, Drollery

Subjects:

Narcotics, Politics, Government, Medical Treatment, Hydropathy

    Introduces a table listing various poisons, their modes of action, antidotes, tests, locations, and the colours of their precipitates. The poisons in question, however, are not chemical substances but habits that Punch considers pernicious to government. They comprise 'ROUTINE', 'COMMISSIONS PURCHASE', 'PUBLIC SINECURES', 'FALSEHOOD', and 'HYPOCRISY', and their modes of action and antidotes are described as if they were medical complaints. For example, routine 'Stagnates the blood and generally carries off half its victims', and its antidote is cutting away 'all the clothing' and diminishing 'the bulk of the Offices by purging in the most speedy manner'.

Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

[Manx symbol], pseud.  [H R Howard] Howard, Henry R (fl. 1853) Spielmann 1895
Close   View the register entry >> Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
Close   View the register entry >>

Subjects:

Monstrosities, Superstition

    Shows a man standing on the stern of a Thames river boat and on the far shore he can make out what looks like the rib cage of a giant sea serpent, but which is in fact the derelict hull of a ship.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery; Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

[Manx symbol], pseud.  [H R Howard] Howard, Henry R (fl. 1853) Spielmann 1895
Close   View the register entry >> Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
Close   View the register entry >>

Subjects:

Telegraphy, Astronomy, Politics

    Discusses the cross-examination of an astronomer who sent a message about the 'Revolution' through the telegraph, but who was later recognized as referring to an eclipse of the moon. The illustration shows two frogs observing an eclipse, one of which uses a pair of binoculars.

Genre:

Song, Drollery

Subjects:

Transport, Public Health

    Describes the dilapidated and cramped state of English omnibuses.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Psychology, Sound, Crime

People mentioned:

Thomas R Malthus Malthus, Thomas Robert (1766–1834) DSB
Close   View the register entry >>

    Reports on the 'discovery' of a 'new fact in psychology', which is 'that noise produces a beneficial action upon a criminal in proportion to the turpitude of his offence'. Notes that certain City tradesmen are selling imported Chinese gongs to ward off burglars and other criminals. Suggests other implications of this psychological 'fact' including the use of 'pretty Malthusian gongs' in a ballroom 'to prevent young ladies from stealing hearts'.

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Accidents, Railways, Government, Medical Practitioners, Surgery, Cultural Geography

    Responds to news that the Russian government is enforcing the rule that every railway train must carry a surgeon. Thinks the British government should be as 'despotic' as the Russian regime and should therefore subject railroads to an 'iron rule' regarding safety. Observes that while English trains run faster and are larger than those in Russia, railway company directors would not dream of providing a surgeon. Noting the high cost of hiring surgeons on railways, ponders the alternative solutions which include 'increasing the securities to public safety' and 'greater punctuality'.

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Relevant illustrations:

wdct. [2]

Subjects:

Futurism, Progress, Medical Practitioners, Education, Astronomy, Light, Invention, Crime, Military Technology, Machinery

Publications cited:

The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
Close   View the register entry >>

    Subtitled 'From the Times Newspaper, Nov. 9th, A.D. 2256', this article explores the changes in London scenery at a time of the fall of the great bell of Big Ben Big Ben
Close   View the register entry >>—an allusion to contemporary problems with the bell. New features include a 'galvanic railway across the lucid and sparkling Thames', the existence of 'NIGHTINGALE Nightingale, Florence (1820–1910) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> College', a 'great electric globe' which answers 'so much better than the moon', and steam-powered policemen. The illustrations show what a steam-powered policeman and steam-powered military vessels might be like in 1897.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Animal Behaviour, Crime

    Discusses the rise in demand for dogs owing to the prevalence of garotte robberies and the fact that the 'dog is a far more eligible street-companion by night than a revolver or a bowie-knife'. Reports on the prices fetched by various breeds of dog, notably the bull terrier which boasts an 'immense power of jaw, and obstinate retentiveness of bite'.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Meteorology, Astronomy, Crime, Commerce

    Following reports of clerks embezzling their employer's money, anticipates the prosecution of the clerk of the weather (i.e. the imaginary functionary supposed to control the weather) for such crimes as 'skimming the Milky Way' and 'transferring some of the brightest stars from the firmament'.

Genre:

Essay, Spoof

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Subjects:

Religion, Commerce, Disease, Pathology, Religious Authority, Charlatanry, Health, Nutrition

    The pseudonym alludes to the controversial divine William H Hale Hale, William Hale (1795–1870) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>, while the reference to 'pluracy'—a conflation of 'pleurisy' and 'pluralism'—is a reference to the fact that, while master of Charterhouse, Hale retained the rich living of St Giles, Cripplegate. The essay represents 'pluracy' as 'an affection of the lining of the chest which much resembles bank note-paper in consistency', and describes the related disorders of avarice and selfishness. Regards 'greediness' and 'slothfulness' as the principal 'predisposing causes' of the disease, which is itself further manifested as a 'continual gaping for the good things of this world', including 'several parishes'. Describes the gross effects of slothfulness in 'pluracy' including obesity, immobility, and the inability to practice what one preaches. Suggests that the cure for the disease is 'an entire reform of the corrupt system'—notably bleeding and a low diet. The illustration show Hale consuming churches and cathedrals.

Genre:

Essay

Subjects:

Railways, Accidents

    Describes the alarming frequency of accidents and collisions on railway lines, and the large number of newspaper articles on this subject. Noting that accidents have now been linked to the high speed of trains, discusses the fact that locomotives on the Eastern Counties Railway Eastern Counties Railway Company
Close   View the register entry >> travel at a speed that 'barely exceeds that of an average donkey's gallop', and might be raced against such animals. Adds that trains on this railway 'are at present no less slow than sure of breaking down' and provide ample opportunities for 'trains of thought'.

Genre:

News-Commentary

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

[Trident], pseud.  [Henry R Howard] Howard, Henry R (fl. 1853) Spielmann 1895
Close   View the register entry >> Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
Close   View the register entry >>

Subjects:

Phrenology, Human Development, Animal Behaviour, Morality, Education

    Discusses the trial of Lord Ernest M Vane-Tempest Vane-Tempest (formerly Vane), Lord Ernest McDonnell (1836–85) Burke's Peerage
Close   View the register entry >>, who spat in a cavalry officer's face. Observes that 'Phrenologists' shop-windows are full of casts of heads of gentlemen of that class—unfortunate gentlemen whose animal propensities irresistably preponderate over their moral sentiments'. Believes that such people were either 'born with imperfect organisation, or their education has been neglected', but argues that an 'endeavour should be made to soften those natures which too nearly resemble the natures of ferocious animals and to develope in their minds the germs of humanity'. The illustration shows a wild boar dressing itself before a mirror in an antiquated military costume.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Horticulture, Disease

    Discusses a report in The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
Close   View the register entry >> describing the use of sulphur in the cure of 'Vine Disease'. Observes that the solution shows the meeting of 'human and vegetable nosology', but thinks that diseased vines should consequently be labelled as such.

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Zoology, Amusement

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Surgery, Industry, Hospitals, Cultural Geography, Race

    Discusses an attempt by the secretary of the Distressed Needlewomen's Society Society for the Relief of Sick and Distressed Needlewomen
Close   View the register entry >> to avoid bringing some 'unreal distress into unnecessary notice' in a legal case. Reveals that the case concerns the failure of an operation, conducted in an ophthalmic hospital, to remove the eyes of a dressmaker. Believing that no operation to remove eyes can ever be anything other than a 'failure', wonders whether the operation was conducted in a Dublin-based hospital—a possible reference to the stereotype of the Irish as mentally deficient.

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Pollution, Public Health, Disease, Engineering, Amateurism

    Asks the troubled Big Ben to 'Save us' from a number of problems affecting London, including the 'pestilent flow of London's sewage' and 'amateur engineering notions'.

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Telegraphy, Progress

    Describes how a 'Lady at the West End' criticised 'a telegraphic message from her son' for being poorly written, asserting that haste was no excuse.

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Health, Disease, Narcotics, Crime

    Noting the use by 'a certain minority of English fools' of the prefix 'anti-' to denounce 'Almost every good thing that Englishmen in general enjoy', discusses 'a confederacy of simpletons'—the British Anti-Tobacco Society British Anti-Tobacco Society
Close   View the register entry >>. Criticises the society for publishing works promoting legislation against juvenile smoking, legislation that Punch thinks is a severe way of dealing with the problem. Punch is more sympathetic to the technique of 'persuasion' which the journal thinks is embodied in a work entitled 'Smoke Not: a Prize Essay'. Condemns some promoters of 'anti-' causes for being 'bigoted', 'illiberal', and possessing other undesirable characteristics, and thinks that the success of 'Anti-Fermented Liquor' and 'Anti-Animal-Food fanatics' would 'reduce us to vegetables and slops'.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Scientific Practitioners

    Discusses the efforts of John H Smith Smith, John Henry (fl.1856–1880) COPAC
Close   View the register entry >> to 'prove that LORD BACON Bacon, Francis, 1st Viscount St Alban (1561–1626) DSB ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> wrote SHAKSPEARE Shakespeare, William (1564–1616) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>'.

Genre:

Reportage, Drollery

Subjects:

Agriculture, Animal Husbandry, Technology

    This account of a cattle show in London notes the display of an 'artificial mother', an invention which appeared to 'have been meant for a calf', and 'perfectly harrowing [...] instruments for torturing the earth'.

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Mental Illness, Hospitals

Institutions mentioned:

Asylum for Idiots, Asylum for Idiots
Close   View the register entry >> Board of Works Metropolitan Board of Works
Close   View the register entry >>

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Exploration, Ethnology

    Reporting the 'brutal attack' on 'the African explorer', David Livingstone Livingstone, David (1813–73) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>, claims that his attacker told him a riddle concerning the similarity between the name of an African lake (Ngami) and that of a female fowl hanging up a fortnight in the heat ('Hen gamey').

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Exploration, Cultural Geography, Ethnology, Gender

    Noting David Livingstone's Livingstone, David (1813–73) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> return from Africa after sixteen years, laments that some of the tribes upon which Livingstone 'reports favourably' have now fallen into 'frightful barbarism', namely, 'the men are entirely under the control of their wives'.

Genre:

Essay, Spoof

Subjects:

Amusement, Medical Treatment, Disease, Pathology, Reason, Gender, Mental Illness, Psychology

    A thinly-veiled response to the rising fashion for wearing crinoline, this essay treats interest in this material as if it were a medical complaint. Identifying 'crinolineomania' as 'essentially a female complaint' and a 'widely-spreading' disease, describes Dr Punch's claim that the disease originated in Paris and was then spread to England by milliners. Dr Punch also links the speed of transmission to the tendency of the female intellect 'to imitation', and goes on to describe how the disease leads to bodily 'excrescences' that change in colour. Adds that 'Like other insane people, the crinolineomaniac is difficult to approach' and disrupts 'domestic comfort' which leads to divorce. Concludes with Dr Punch's recommendations for thwarting the spread of the disease, which include isolating the 'patient' from such 'exciting causes' as 'illustrated books of fashion' and, noting that the crinolineomaniacs are deaf to reason but not 'blind to ridicule', getting them 'laughed out of their insanity'.

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Exploration, Race

    Noting the 'great perils' that David Livingstone Livingstone, David (1813–73) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >> must have encountered, suggests that these would be 'much exceeded' by the dangers of exploring the southern states of America. Observes that in Central Africa he was known to 'belong to the tribe that loves the black man', but that this appellation would 'draw on' attacks from 'American savages'.