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Punch, Or the London Charivari [1st]  Introduction
Volume 59  (July to December 1870)

Punch,  59 (1870), iii–iv.

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Preface

Anon

Genre:

Preface

Relevant illustrations:

wdct. [2]

Illustrators:

C K Keene, Charles Samuel (1823–91) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Astronomy, Textbooks, Observation, Theory, Politics, Comparative Philology, Astrology, Prognostication, Periodicals


    Anticipating the solar eclipse predicted for December, describes the experiences of Mr Punch on the 'Shortest Day of the disturbed, disastrous, and dismal year, 1870'. Points out that 'Mr. PUNCH, the Philosopher, was not meditating on disturbances, disaster, or dismalness', but 'pondering on Eclipses, with the assistance of MR. NORMAN LOCKYER'S Lockyer, Sir Joseph Norman (1836–1920) DSB ODNB
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Elementary Lesson-book [Lockyer 1868 Lockyer, Joseph Norman 1868. Elementary Lessons in Astronomy, London: Macmillan
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], and he had nearly persuaded himself that he partly understood something of the theory of those phenomena'. Notes Mr Punch's interest in a passage on the duration of solar eclipses and that such an event had not been visible from London since 1715—the year 'in which the Northern Lights vainly tried to eclipse the Star of Brunswick'. Mr Punch is then visited by the Greek god of the sun, Monsieur Helios, and the Greek goddess of the moon, Mademoiselle Selene or Diana. During their conversation, the latter demonstrates to Mr Punch how she will put Monsieur Helios 'out' on the following day, but Mr Punch asks for 'a bit of astrology, not astronomy' so he can learn 'what's going to happen in this Sublunary Wale'. Diana mocks Mr Punch's terrestrial concerns but tells him her predictions for the 'destiny of France'—a reference to the Franco-Prussian war. This information which is 'laid away in the golden casket' of Mr Punch's memory. The first illustration shows Mr Punch observing a solar eclipse—caused by Diana standing in front of the sun. Mr Punch reclines in a chair, holding binoculars in his hands. The second illustration shows Mr Punch causing the eclipse himself, by holding volume fifty-nine of Punch in front of the sun.



Punch,  59 (1870), [v]–[viii].

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Introduction

Anon

Genre:

Notes

Subjects:

Telegraphy, Class, Museums, Natural History, Steamships, Military Technology, Accidents, Controversy, Medical Practitioners, Education, Gender, Politics, Government


    Under 'Notes', it summarises articles on the reaction of a yokel to the electric telegraph (Anon, 'The Clod and the Cable', Punch, 59 (1870), 14), the delayed construction of the South Kensington site for the British Museum's British Museum
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natural history collections (, Anon, 'Punch's Essence of Parliament', Punch, 59 (1870), 66–67), the tragic death of Cowper P Coles Coles, Cowper Phipps (1819–70) ODNB
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(, Anon, 'The "Captain" Foundered (On Wednesday, September 7, 1870)', Punch, 59 (1870), 129, , Anon, 'Verdict—in re Captain', Punch, 59 (1870), 273), and the appointment of Elizabeth Garrett Anderson (née Garrett), Elizabeth (1836–1917) ODNB
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and Phillipa G Fawcett Fawcett, Philippa Garrett (1868–1948) ODNB
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to the London School Board London School Board
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(, Ignoramus, 'School Boards', Punch, 59 (1870), 252).



Issue 1512 (2 July 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 1–2.

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Punch's Essence of Parliament

Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Politics, Government, Medical Practitioners, Utilitarianism


    Notes parliamentary discussion of a bill for 'doing a little justice to the Medical men who look after the poor', including John Brady's Brady, John (1812–87) Stenton 1976WBI
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description of the poor pay and grave working conditions of such practitioners. Punch supports this with several facts and figures. Explains that the bill aims to provide poor-law union medical officers with a superannuation scheme.



Punch,  59 (1870), 2.

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Oxford and Origin of Species

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Darwinism, Universities, Controversy


    Notes that the University of Oxford University of Oxford
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has offered Charles R Darwin Darwin, Charles Robert (1809–82) DSB
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the honorary degree of D.C.L. Quips that 'they might have proposed to create the great Doctor of Development a D.D., which, of course, nobody could suppose to mean Doctor of Divinity'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 7.

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More Fever than Fodder

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Disease, Publishing


    Noting the publication of the sixth edition of 'Hay Fever' (possibly Smith 1868 Smith, William Abbotts 1868. Observations on Hay-Fever, Hay-Asthma, or Summer Catarrh, 6th edn, London: H. Renshaw
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) asks where is the hay which is causing such a 'prevalent complaint'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 8.

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Equal to the Occasion

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Astronomy, Observation, Societies, Travel


    Notes that Alfred Tennyson Tennyson, Alfred, 1st Baron Tennyson (1809–92) ODNB
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wishes to accompany the expedition organised by the Royal Society Royal Society of London
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and the Royal Astronomical Society Royal Astronomical Society
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to view the solar eclipse in December 1870. Hopes Tennyson will be granted his wish and expects him to furnish a 'grand account' of the event.



Punch,  59 (1870), 9.

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Big Ben Big Ben
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in Danger

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Time, Instruments, Accidents, Politics, Instrument-makers


    Notes the destruction by fire of the clock tower of the Palace of Westminster Palace of Westminster
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, a tragedy caused by the contact between heated flues and loose coconut fibre—the latter being stored under the bell and clock to deaden the fall of the clock weights. Punch thinks this is 'the remotest danger to provide against we have ever heard of' owing to the impossibility of clock weights unhooking themselves, and warns that a greater danger to Edmund B Denison's Beckett (formerly Beckett Denison), Sir Edmund, 1st Baron Grimthorpe (1816–1905) ODNB
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clock is posed by flames from the pipe of workman standing near the coconut and the 'possible incendiary consequences of Mr. Denison's un-official, and Mr. Ayrton's Ayrton, Acton Smee (1816–86) ODNB
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official, connection with the clock'. Concludes with a list of the 'heats' that the Palace of Westminster has generated among 'its architects, clockmakers, amateur and professional ventilation doctors' and others.



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Issue 1513 (9 July 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 11–12.

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Punch's Essence of Parliament

Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Politics, Government, Quackery, Crime, Periodicals, Publishing


    Notes the progress of the 'Medical Act Amendment Bill' which empowers the General Medical Council General Medical Council
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to 'declare a Quack "infamous" and "disgraceful"', but wishes that it included a clause for 'flogging him at a cart's tail if he dares to bring an action against a newspaper for publishing the fact that he has been branded on his dirty forehead' (12).



Punch,  59 (1870), 12.

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Poached Eggs and their Poachers

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Cruelty, Natural History, Ornithology, Animal Behaviour, Hunting, Education


    Discusses a report in the Agricultural Journal Agricultural Journal (cited 1870) PU1/59/2/2
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describing how a Cornish gamekeeper used the bait of an adder to catch a harrier hawk. Considers that 'gamekeepers are generally actuated by a zeal which is not at all according to knowledge, but is, on the contrary, according to ignorance, the grossest, of natural history'. Asserts that they shoot down 'every one of the Falconidae without mercy and without discrimination', and proceeds to claim that the harrier hawk is not only beautiful but actually destroys such poachers as adders. Concludes by suggesting that 'some of the resident gentlefolks' enlighten the minds of their 'rustic audiences' with 'familiar' accounts of the 'various birds and animals' with which they are acquainted.



Punch,  59 (1870), 14.

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The Clod and the Cable

Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Agriculture, Telegraphy, Imperialism, Progress, Education, Comparative Philology, Superstition, Magic, Chemistry, Scientific Practitioners, Electricity, Meteorology, Technology


    Describes a conversation between an 'agriculturist' and an 'instructor'. From John Tenniel, 'Very High Farming', Punch, 59 (1870), [15], the latter proves to be a female personification of science, holding a scroll announcing telegraphic communication between Britain and India. This refers to the recently completed Falmouth, Gibraltar, and Malta Telegraph Falmouth, Gibraltar, and Malta Telegraph
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, which provides the final link in the telegraphic cable between London and Bombay. The agriculturist begins by expressing his wonder at the speed of railways but notes that 'Ziunce still faster is stridun' owing to the speed of telegraphic transmission. He also notes that 'Electrical communicashun / Around all this globe now extends' and that conversations with 'friends' in Botany Bay will be 'As quick, purty nigh, as we'm able / Wi' voice droo a mouth-pipe to shout'. He recounts that, in his youth, 'people was used to be frightened' by thunder and lightning, but 'now we hears' it is 'but a gurt spark and loud snap'. Believes that the ability to use lightning for sending news is a wonder that outclasses those produced by the 'Magishuns' of ancient Egypt to impress the pharaohs. Concludes by comparing 'Ziunce' to 'Zorcery', since neither wizards nor chemists can 'alter the weather', and affirms his faith in St Swithun Swithun, St. (d. 863) ODNB
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rather than science for bringing rain. The instructor agrees that rain 'Is not under human command' but points out that it is in a 'husbandman's power' to construct 'tanks' for irrigating his land.



Punch,  59 (1870), 14.

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Theory and Practice

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Race, Anatomy, Human Development


    Noting a 'time-honoured theory' reported in 'a contemporary' periodical that 'races are indicated by the colour of the hair', suggests that this is a 'fact' because men returning from Ascot usually have their hair discoloured by the dust—and so their hair colour indicates 'their presence at the races'.



Punch,  59 (1870), [15].

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Very High Farming

J T Tenniel, Sir John (1820–1914) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

J T Tenniel, Sir John (1820–1914) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Agriculture, Meteorology, Telegraphy, Electricity, Imperialism, Progress, Superstition, Electricity, Meteorology, Technology


    Similar to Anon, 'The Clod and the Cable', Punch, 59 (1870), 14, this shows a farmer standing in a field before a female personification of 'Science' who clutches a telegraph pole in one hand, and in the other holds a scroll bearing the words 'Communi [cation w]ith India / Submar[ine] Telegraph'. In the distance, at the edge of the field, telegraph lines are shown suspended between poles. Scratching his head, Farmer Giles is astonished to learn that it is now possible to send and receive signals from India in five minutes, and he asks her whether 'Science' can 'telegra-a-aph to S'n Swithun, will'ee—Tell un to turn on a goodish dra-ap o' reen vor my poor turmuts!'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 19.

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Sewage-Farming in Both Sorts

Anon

Genre:

Extract, Reportage; Poetry

Publications extracted:

Daily Telegraph Daily Telegraph (1856–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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, Standard Standard (1827–60) Evening Standard (1860–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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Subjects:

Pollution, Crime, Human Development, Class, Disease, Sanitation, Hygiene, Public Health, Utilitarianism, Morality, Analogy


    Begins with two recent extracts from the Daily Telegraph Daily Telegraph (1856–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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and the Standard Standard (1827–60) Evening Standard (1860–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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. The former describes how the Chichester Training Ship Chichester, ship
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, moored off Greenhithe, is being used to train 'destitute boys picked up in the streets of London' in the arts of seamanship; the latter extract describes William Hope's Hope, William (fl. 1835) WBI
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demonstration to Parliament Houses of Parliament
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of the virtues of irrigating the soil with sewage, using specimens of wheat. The poem picks up on the theme of dirt that appears in the two extracts, both human dirt and sewage. Proceeds to reflect on the varieties of dirt in society, including the 'dirt of uncared-for bodies' with which 'we sap life's strength and spring', and 'The dirt of uncared-for dwellings' with which 'we as plague-seed broadcast fling', and the 'human dirt [...] that festers in our streets, as the filth in our sewers seethes'. Laments the way in which we 'dispose of' human dirt 'small and early, where the baby farmer delves', but notes that 'the life in human dirt is tough' and leads it to grow into the street 'rough' and eventually 'the load of the prison-van'. However, blesses those with 'strong stomachs and kindly hearts' who have not avoided the 'foul and festering stream' of real and human dirt, but have sought to put this 'misplaced matter' into its right place. Accordingly, praises sewage farmers for turning filth into food and others for training the 'Street-Arab' to 'useful toil'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 20.

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Tempus Fugit

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Telegraphy, Imperialism, Class, Instruments, Internationalism


    Begins with an extract from the Court Journal Court Journal (1829–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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describing a gathering at John Pender's Pender, Sir John (1816–96) ODNB
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Piccadilly mansion of '300 of the notabilities of rank, science, art and fashion'—a gathering to celebrate the completion of the telegraphic connection between London and Bombay. The poem describes the 'swelldom', the 'glare and the glitter and gossip' of the occasion, and explains that what has brought together 'these leaders of fashion and science' is 'the small syphon that, waving, / Scatters its fine jet ink in accord with the pulses electric, / So making plain to the eye what the spark through the wires is conveying'—a reference to William Thomson's Thomson, Sir William (Baron Kelvin of Largs) (1824–1907) DSB
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syphon telegraphic recorder. Explains that the message inscribed by the syphon recorder is 'Britannia stretching invisible hands under ocean', which brings together east and west, and which allows exchanges between London and distant parts of the globe. Adds that one message was sent to the Viceroy of India, Richard S Bourke (6th Earl of Mayo) Bourke, Richard Southwell, 6th Earl of Mayo (1822–72) ODNB
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, who, despite the fact that he was roused out of bed, showed what 'Miracle-workers are we [...] Saying to space "Be no more", and to baffled Time, "Get thou behind me"'. Concludes with the warning the 'one achievement remains': 'to use it for wise talk'—'Talk that shall lessen earth's evil, and make its good larger and larger' and 'gather' the world into 'brotherhood's bondage'.



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Issue 1514 (16 July 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 22.

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"The Cut Direct". (Given and Returned)

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Engineering, Patronage, Government, Politics


    Begins by noting that, when Ferdinand, vicomte de Lesseps Lesseps, Ferdinand, vicomte de (1805–94) CBD
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was planning the Suez Canal Suez Canal
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, John Bull refused to loan him any money and 'gave him and his big whim, / Alike, the "Cut Direct"'. Points out, however, that now that the canal is an 'accomplished fact', England 'Backs him' and expects him to 'Give us the "Cut Direct"'. Hopes he will smile at the cheering crowd 'So lately scornful'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 22.

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Rainfall and Reason

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Chemistry, Meteorology, War, Religion, Scientific Practitioners, Nationalism, Belief, Boundary Formation


    Reports that a French chemist, noting the coincidence between great battles and heavy showers, has suggested that firing a general cannonade would end the present drought—a plan which, if successful, the chemist thinks should be marked by a 'religious celebration'. Wonders how Michael Faraday Faraday, Michael (1791–1867) DSB
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would have responded to this suggestion which would have 'rather misled the faithful but unscientific multitude'. Insists that a 'true English' philosopher, unlike a French one, would refuse to do this, and 'We would dissociate the theological from the scientific experiment for the deduction of rain'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 23.

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Officious Interference

D M Du Maurier, George Louis Palmella Busson (1834–96) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

D M Du Maurier, George Louis Palmella Busson (1834–96) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Transport, Steam-power, Amusement, Invention


    Shows a scene on a river where the 'steam-yacht' of Paterfamilias, laden with five other members of his family, has 'come to a stand-still, the fires having gone out'. A 'polite stranger' in a canoe sidles up to the steam-yacht and offers his cigar to Paterfamilias in order to rekindle the fire.



Punch,  59 (1870), 23.

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Special Pleaders' Mutual Protection Society

Anon

Genre:

Advertisment, Spoof

Subjects:

Pollution, Experiment, Physics


    This protection society 'appeals for support to those unfortunate practitioners who have incurred heavy penalties by their unskilfulness in framing Declarations of attachment, but who are still courageously bent on devoting their tender energies to please'. The advertisement also includes a 'Form of Declaration' in which the bachelor declares that he is 'held and firmly bound' to the spinster by the ties of admiration or affluence, and lists the circumstances under which the declaration would become invalid. These include: 'If in fashionable mockery of Professor TYNDALL Tyndall, John (1820–93) DSB
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', the bachelor 'shall raise a dust in the Park, proudly regardless of the mischief which follows in [the spinster's] train'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 24–25.

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Punch's Essence of Parliament

Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Politics, Government, Engineering, Vaccination, Medical Treatment, Telegraphy, Religion


    Notes William Tite's Tite, Sir William (1798–1873) ODNB
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announcement that the Thames Embankment Thames Embankment
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will be completed in two years' time using millstone grit. Also notes a bill for abolishing the poaching act of 1862 and discusses a vaccination debate in which Henry A Bruce Bruce, Henry Austin, 1st Baron Aberdare (1815–95) ODNB
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adhered to the principle of compulsory vaccination and organised a committee to 'consider how that can be best enforced with due regard to the wishes of the people' (24). The writer also ridicules prelates for forgetting that, 'with the telegraphs established all over England (except in idiotic towns where the people are afraid of their twopenny secrets being known to the postmaster or postmistress)', they could better inform rural parishes of the changes laid out in the new lectionary.



Punch,  59 (1870), [27].

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The Education Problem

J T Tenniel, Sir John (1820–1914) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Caricature

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

J T Tenniel, Sir John (1820–1914) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Education, Mathematics, Government, Politics


    Shows William E Forster Forster, William Edward (1818–86) ODNB
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as a pupil standing in a classroom before the schoolmistress, Britannia, who sits in a chair and asks how he has progressed in his mathematics problem. According to the caption, 'MASTER' Forster claims that he has solved the problem and has done so by reducing 'all the fractions to the lowest common denomination'. Britannia is impressed and tells Forster: 'Good Boy! Go up!'. Forster then 'enters the Cabinet'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 30.

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Gilpin Gilpin, Charles (1815–74) WBI
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Run Away with as Usual

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Vaccination, Politics, Medical Treatment, Government


    Notes Charles Gilpin's opposition to the vaccination act, and his attempts to convince those who deny the efficacy of a well-performed vaccination by 'reason and argument'. Adds that just as John Gilpin 'borrowed a horse from his friend the Calenderer, and it ran away with him', so Charles Gilpin 'has borrowed a hobby from the laissez-faire livery stables, and it has run away with him'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 30.

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Substitutes for Steam-Rollers

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Engineering, Transport


    Noting the use of a 'Steam Paving Machine' in Paris, suggests that 'ablebodied convicts' could crush the fragments of granite and shingle on the roads.



Punch,  59 (1870), 31.

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A New Saint

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Exploration, Heroism, Discovery, Religious Authority, Heterodoxy


    Discusses a 'scrap of news' announcing the attempts to persuade Pope Pius IX Pius IX, Pope (1792–1878) CBD
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to canonize Christopher Columbus Columbus, Christopher (1451–1506) CBD
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. Heartily agrees with this, adding that James Cook Cook, James (1728–79) DSB
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and Vasco da Gama Gama, Vasco da (c. 1469–1525) CBD
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should be similarly honoured, but comments: 'To make a saint out of heretic may seem a little startling, but of course Infallibility cannot err in doing so'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 32.

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Information Wanted

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Technology, Exploration, Display, Exhibitions

Institutions mentioned:

Royal Polytechnic Institution Royal Polytechnic Institution
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Issue 1515 (23 July 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 35.

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Song of the Washed-Out Volunteer

Anon

Genre:

Song, Drollery

Subjects:

Astronomy, Observation, Analogy


Punch,  59 (1870), 39.

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Thoughts of Great Men. (Now First Collected)  [3/6]Anon, 'Thoughts of Great Men. (Now First Collected)', Punch, 59 (1870), 77
Anon, 'Thoughts of Great Men. (Now First Collected)', Punch, 59 (1870), 92

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Anon

Genre:

Extract, Spoof, Essay, Serial

Subjects:

Engineering, Human Development, Medical Practitioners, Health, Natural History, Observation


    A series of extracts that reflect contemporary themes. An extract from Adam Smith Smith, Adam (1723–90) ODNB
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on love includes the line: 'Men have crossed oceans and Isthmuses of Suez for woman's sake, and come back crossed in love themselves'. An extract from Isaac Watts Watts, Isaac (1674–1748) ODNB
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contains a list of proverbs, one of which advises: 'Dissemble: never show your teeth except to your dentist'. Finally, an extract from Gilbert White White, Gilbert (1720–93) DSB
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urges readers that their health can be improved on country rambles by paying attention to 'every page in the book of nature [...] the shape and colour of the cloud hanging over your neighbour', after which they can sit down for a meal 'with a thankful heart, a vigorous appetite [...] and bottle of the far-famed and world-renowned Nottinghamshire Sauce'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 39.

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Truthful Tales

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Spiritualism, Mesmerism, Medical Treatment, Charlatanry, Race, Nationalism


    Discusses the alleged cures by the mesmeric and spiritualist healer, F L Newton Newton, Dr F L (1810–83) Fodor 1934
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, in particular his treatment of the curvature of a baby's spine. Points out that if Newton's treatment had been 'attested by but one metropolitan hospital surgeon' then 'the whole medical profession would believe in the curative powers of DR. NEWTON, and advise the British Public to credit them too'. Turns to a report of Newton's treatment of a lame Irishman who, owing to one of his legs being bent backwards, used a wooden leg to support him. Newton apparently healed the man who walked away with the wooden limb on his shoulder. Punch dryly admits that it has 'not the slightest difficulty' in believing that an Irishman 'did limp into the presence of DR. NEWTON with a bent knee and a wooden leg, and walk out of it with the knee straight, and the wooden leg on his shoulder'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 40.

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"Where Prayers Cross."—Shakespeare

L S Sambourne, Edwin Linley (1844–1910) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

L S Sambourne, Edwin Linley (1844–1910) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Meteorology, Instruments, Superstition, Comparative Philology


    Shows two children who have abandoned a game of croquet in order to kneel in prayer before St Swithun Swithun, St. (d. 863) ODNB
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, who has appeared before them. The saint is represented as a giant barometric weather gauge—the dial being his face, and the indicators sprouting from his nose. The caption indicates the saint's dilemma in the current drought: 'What was Saint Swithun to do?—Spoil the Croquet or Corn?'.



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Issue 1516 (30 July 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 43–44.

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Punch's Essence of Parliament

Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Military Technology, Steamships, War, Invention


    Notes that Edward J Reed Reed, Sir Edward James (1830–1906) ODNB
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, the chief constructor of the Royal Navy Royal Navy
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, has resigned and may go 'into lucrative partnership' with Joseph Whitworth Whitworth, Sir Joseph, 1st Baronet (1803–87) ODNB
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, although he will offer his services to the Admiralty Admiralty
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in the present 'crises' (the outbreak of the Franco-Prussian war). Notes discussion of guns, in particular the government's consideration of the Mitrailleuse—an invention which Mr Punch thinks is not original, having seen something similar to it in the Tower of London Tower of London
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. Also notes the failure of the bill for abolishing game laws. (43)



Punch,  59 (1870), 52.

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How to Roll Your Roads

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Transport, Engineering, Steam-power, Politics, Cruelty


    Discusses Frederick A Paget's Paget, Frederick Arthur (fl. 1870) Paget 1870 COPAC
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argument that using steam-rollers on roads would halve the costs of breaking stones. Punch points out that this would also save on 'broken [carriage] springs, and battered wheels, and injured horses' feet, and jolted bones, and shaken nerves'. Warns that vestrymen would only listen to the economic argument in favour of steam-rollers, since appealing to their feelings would be useless. Points out that vestrymen would only 'listen to the voice of reason' were they to be indicted for cruelty to animals caused by stones on roads.



Punch,  59 (1870), 52.

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Unexpected News

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

War, Military Technology


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Issue 1517 (6 August 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 55.

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High Jinks

C K Keene, Charles Samuel (1823–91) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

C K Keene, Charles Samuel (1823–91) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Photography, Religious Authority


    Shows the Rev Alban Rochet being photographed 'in "Full Ritualistic Fig" to present to his flock'. The 'Country Photographer' asks him: 'The heyes might be helevated a little 'igher, your Reverence!!'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 57.

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Semper Parati

Anon

Genre:

Essay

Subjects:

Military Technology, War


    Outlines an 'economy which might be effected in the arms with which we furnish our gallant Volunteers'. Insists that the Enfield rifle which is currently used would be 'practically useless' against the Chassepots Chassepot, Antoine Alphonse (1833–1905) WBI
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, and therefore should be sold to a country whose enemies are armed with even more rudimentary weapons. Suggests that the Enfields should be replaced by mopsticks, which are as effective for drill purposes. Also suggests replacing Enfields with breech-loaders, although 'these would cost money, and it is not certain that we have just yet an enemy at our door'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 61.

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Mushrooms Made Easy

Champignon Champignon
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Natural History, Botany, Collecting, Medical Practitioners, Nutrition, Disease, Natural History, Observation, Reading


    The writer begins by introducing himself as somebody who practised mycophagy or fungus-eating as a hobby, believing that pursuing 'objects, or subjects, belonging to the vegetable kingdom' is mentally elevating. Presents an extract from the Medical Press and Circular Dublin Medical Press (1839–1865) London Medical Press and Circular (1866) Medical Press (1866–1900+) BUCOP
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describing a case of a couple who showed symptoms of cryptogamic poisoning after eating some mushrooms with their tea—the mushrooms apparently being mixed with poisonous fungi. Insists that the poisoning was caused by toxic substances in the tea and prints an extract from the same report showing how 'true' and 'false' mushrooms can be distinguished. Disputes the reliability of this distinction, highlighting instances where genuine mushrooms have some of the outward features of false ones, and appealing to the authority of Badham 1847 Badham, Charles David 1847. A Treatise on the Esculent Funguses of England, Containing an account of their Classical History, Uses, Characters, Development, Structure, Nutritious Properties, Modes of Cooking and Preserving, &c, London: Reeve
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, and to the coloured diagrams of fungi by Worthington G Smith Smith, Worthington George (1835–1917) ODNB
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displayed in the window of 'MR. HARDWICKE'S Hardwicke, Robert (1822–75) ODNB
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Shop in Piccadilly'. Wishes readers to consider Smith's distinction between wholesome and poisonous mushrooms and his account of the symptoms which he experienced early in his fungus-eating researches. Observes: 'Wise men like you, Sir, do not eat mushrooms unless they know the bad from the good as well as they know parsley from hemlock. They read the rights books about them first, or study them in Nature, or, before they venture on dishes of them, they consult plates'.



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Issue 1518 (13 August 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 66–67.

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Punch's Essence of Parliament

Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Museums, Natural History, Government


    Notes that 'it was finally settled that the Beasts, Birds, Fishes, Insects, Eggs, and all the Natural History at the British Museum British Museum
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, should be sent off to South Kensington, and £6,000 was voted for land whereon to build a receptacle for them'. Mr Punch 'rejoices' in this move, but questions whether zoology should 'have been sent so many miles away from the homes of the only class (except students) that cares about it'. (66)



Punch,  59 (1870), 68.

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Our Pretty Doctor

D M Du Maurier, George Louis Palmella Busson (1834–96) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

D M Du Maurier, George Louis Palmella Busson (1834–96) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Medical Practitioners, Gender, Class


    Shows several scruffy and dirty men forming a queue in front of a desk in the surgery of a woman doctor, Dr Arabella. She asks them what she can do for them, and Bill, who heads the queue, explains that he and his mates, 'bein' out o' work' and 'wantin' to turn an honest penny' any way they can, wondered if she 'wouldn't mind recommendin' [... them] as nurses'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 71.

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The War

Anon

Genre:

Drama, Drollery

Subjects:

War, Travel, Aeronautics, Meteorology, Experiment

People mentioned:

James Glaisher Glaisher, James (1809–1903) DSB
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Punch,  59 (1870), 73.

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"The Boyle Boyle, Hon Robert (1627–91) DSB ODNB
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Lecture"

Anon

Genre:

Announcement, Spoof

Subjects:

Nutrition, Lecturing, Scientific Practitioners, Nationalism


    'Can you Cook a Potato?'. (The choice of food is possibly an allusion to Robert Boyle having been Irish.)



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Issue 1519 (20 August 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 75.

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The Enormous Gooseberry

Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Agriculture, Nutrition, Display, Monstrosities

Institutions mentioned:

London Fruiterers' Company London Fruiterers' Company
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Punch,  59 (1870), 77.

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Thoughts of Great Men. (Now First Collected)  [5/6]Anon, 'Thoughts of Great Men. (Now First Collected)', Punch, 59 (1870), 39
Anon, 'Thoughts of Great Men. (Now First Collected)', Punch, 59 (1870), 92

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Anon

Genre:

Extract, Spoof, Essay, Serial

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

L S Sambourne, Edwin Linley (1844–1910) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Declinism, Invention, Patenting, Museums, Menageries, Education, Natural History, Gender


    A series of extracts that comment on contemporary themes. The first extract, from Edward Gibbon Gibbon, Edward (1737–94) ODNB
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, describes the 'decline of the vast Aryan empire' as if it were the Roman Empire. The signs of decline include the fact that the 'treasures of art, the wonders of science, the marvellous products of inventive genius and the patent laws, reposed, neglected and forgotten in galleries and cabinets, in museums and mechanics' institutes' were 'all at the mercy of the barbarous invader'. The second extract, from Carl Linnaeus Linnaeus (or von Linné), Carl (1707–78) DSB
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, describes the naturalist's observations of flowers in a peaceful meadow, his reverence for 'the wise Professor' who taught him to 'distinguish between the delicious mushroom and the deleterious toad-stool', and his need to return to his 'ten pound-tenement'. Linnaeus is thus compared to a Victorian fungus-eater. The illustration shows a women strolling on a beach, her costume making her resemble a giant snail.



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Issue 1520 (27 August 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 85.

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The Use of the New Forest New Forest, Hampshire
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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Environmentalism, Meteorology, Ecology, Botany, Cultural Geography, Government, Politics


    Begins by warning that England lost 'fifty millions by a failure of the hay crop in consequence of the drought', which is a continuation of a three-year 'rain famine'. Adds that since 'trees are the great retainers of moisture', felling trees will only exacerbate this problem. Points out that since the revolution, France has felled many of its trees, which has resulted in 'particularly severe' droughts, although the government is now planting trees to remedy the situation. Supports a remark made by a correspondent in The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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, who attacks plans to 'destroy the New Forest, one of the best storehouses of moisture' in the south of England. Hopes the 'enlightened public will restrain them from carrying out the despicable intentions of Foolish Fellers'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 87.

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On the Wing

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Natural History, Museums


    Reports that following news of its move South Kensington, 'much excitement prevails' in the natural history collections of the British Museum British Museum
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, 'particularly amongst the COLE Cole, Sir Henry (1808–82) ODNB
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-optera'.



Punch,  59 (1870), [89].

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England's "Intervention"

J T Tenniel, Sir John (1820–1914) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

J T Tenniel, Sir John (1820–1914) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

War, Medical Practitioners, Medical Treatment, Gender


    Referring to England's involvement in the escalating Franco-Prussian war, this illustration depicts a scene outside a 'Hospital Stores' on a battlefield. Britannia is represented as a nurse who holds the hand of a wounded French soldier in one hand, and with the other, hands a bottle of medicine to a Prussian troop. The caption explains that 'At least we may help the sick and wounded'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 92.

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Thoughts of Great Men. (Now First Collected)  [6/6]Anon, 'Thoughts of Great Men. (Now First Collected)', Punch, 59 (1870), 39
Anon, 'Thoughts of Great Men. (Now First Collected)', Punch, 59 (1870), 77

Close

Anon

Genre:

Extract, Spoof, Essay, Serial

Subjects:

Human Development, Breeding, Invention, Transport, Steam-power, Politics, Government, Publishing, Education, Class, Philosophy, Psychology, Metaphysics, Causation


    A series of unlikely extracts that comment on contemporary themes. The first, from Thomas R Malthus Malthus, Thomas Robert (1766–1834) DSB
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, praises the sight of a 'perambulator filled with healthy children!', judging it to be 'one of the most useful inventions of modern civilisation, and only third to the steam-engine and the patent feeding-bottle'. Another, from Benjamin Franklin Franklin, Benjamin (1706–90) DSB
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, condemns liberty and the freedom of the press, preferring that 'printing ink had never been invented' than it should have been 'abused to disseminate, amongst the humbler sorts of men, those notions of equality, and that spirit of insubordination to constituted authority, which are the dangerous symptoms of this levelling age'. (92) An extract from George Berkeley Berkeley, George (1685–1753) DSB
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ponders the origin of ideas, the analysis of which will need to be recorded, although the mill for producing the paper on which such records will be made has not yet been built. The extract also notes that 'If the mind of man were a tabula rasa [...] we could believe [..] in an endless succession of elastic causations [of thought] [...] but as it is we are left to grope on in the dim vaults of dusty speculation'. (93)



Punch,  59 (1870), 93.

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Joke for Gentle Dulness

Anon

Genre:

Dialogue, Drollery

Subjects:

Zoological Gardens, Amusement

Institutions mentioned:

Zoological Society—Gardens Zoological Society of London —Gardens
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Issue 1521 (3 September 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 95.

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A Panacea for the Wounded

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, Medical Practitioners, Spiritualism, Quackery, War


    Insists that, if his claims are genuine, the healing medium, F L Newton Newton, Dr F L (1810–83) Fodor 1934
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, should be 'at the seat of war' (viz., the Franco-Prussian war), pointing out that if he 'is half the healer and philanthropist those who believe in him make him out, he would instantly rush to the battle-plain, and stop the effusion of blood'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 95.

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Ready? Eh? Ready?

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Military Technology, Amateurism


Punch,  59 (1870), 96.

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So Said her Rival

L S Sambourne, Edwin Linley (1844–1910) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

L S Sambourne, Edwin Linley (1844–1910) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>
Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Health, Gender


    Shows a woman strolling on a sea-side promenade. She wears a veil and a large hat to conceal a pimpled face. The caption indicates that she had gone to the sea-side believing that the sun and sea-air would be good for her health, but now her complexion has been 'completely spoiled the very morning before the monthly ball'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 96.

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How We Spend Our Holidays

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Scientific Practitioners, Botany, Zoology, Microscopy, Collecting, Health


    Explaining that owing to the war, 'we English are unable to take our walks abroad this autumn', describes the eccentric pursuits of some people trying to enjoy themselves on holiday. These include Professor Muddlewits who has 'been enjoying a week's fishing in his water-butt, and is now engaged in microscopically examining the treasures of the deep which he has managed to collect', and Mr Flycatcher whose most successful day—in which he gathered many insects—ended with him coming upon a wasps' nest.



Punch,  59 (1870), 97.

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First Stitch in Time

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

War, Military Technology


Punch,  59 (1870), 102.

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Ideal Intelligence

Anon

Genre:

Introduction; Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Observation, Palaeontology, Monstrosities, Darwinism, Evolution, Supernaturalism, Animal Behaviour, Breeding, Astronomy, Meteorology, Amateurism


    Presents some 'diversified intelligence' to leaven the 'dearth of all news but war-news'. It consists of brief reports of scientific and apparently miraculous phenomena observed by professional and amateur practitioners. For example, in a report entitled 'Origin of Species' (the title of Darwin 1859 Darwin, Charles Robert 1859. On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection; or, The Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life, London: John Murray
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), it claims that 'a sow in the possession of Mr. Mangold farmer, of Snorton Suis, produced on the 24th inst. a farrow of nine piglings, one of which has a snout terminating in a proboscis similar to that of the elephant, only of smaller size. This aberrant little pachyderm presents an illustration of the Theory of Development which may be acceptable to MR. DARWIN Darwin, Charles Robert (1809–82) DSB
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'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 103.

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Farewell to the Ramrod (Sung by a Volunteer)

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

War, Military Technology, Museums


    Bids farewell to the ramrod rifle, the 'trusty rod of steel', pointing out that 'Britannia's sons / Require breechloading guns, / In case foreign band / Invade their native land'. Anticipates that it is 'doomed to rust' unless it is 'Kept burnish'd [...] In antique armoury'. Wonders about the current situation, since he still grasps the ramrod in his hand because he is still waiting for replacements of 'fire-arms out of date'. Concludes by wishing that he 'could outright / Armed for effectual fight / At instantaneous call'.



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Issue 1522 (10 September 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 105.

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Prelates Carefully Preserved

Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Museums, Natural History, Zoology, Religious Authority, Religion


    Claims that the British Museum British Museum
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'possesses a most interesting collection of stuffed archbishops, several cases in one of the Natural History Saloons being devoted to "The Primates"'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 105.

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Not very far Wrong

Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

War, Medical Treatment, Patronage, Sanitation


Punch,  59 (1870), 106.

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"Blood and Iron"

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

War, Military Technology, Education, Nationalism, Agriculture


    Discusses the claim by Otto E L von Bismarck (Count of Bismarck-Schönhausen) Bismarck, Prince Otto Edward Leopold von, Duke of Lauenburg (1815–98) CBD
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that Germany must be made 'By Blood and Iron'. Notes that these are the means by which Germany is attempting to achieve peace, and that Germany is now reaping the harvest 'To be reaped 'gainst all gainsaying / Of foes', a 'harvest of patient Learning, / Of Peace's crafts and arts; / Of Science's sharp discerning, / And Labour's busy marts'. Warns that before blood and iron can 'yield this harvest rare / Right soil must seed the environ, / And nurture of breezes fair'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 113.

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Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)  [1/5]Anon, 'Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)', Punch, 59 (1870), 133
Anon, 'Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)', Punch, 59 (1870), 139
Anon, 'Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)', Punch, 59 (1870), 169

Close

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Spoof, Serial

Subjects:

Heroism, Travel, Exploration, Zoology, Meteorology, Analytical Chemistry

People mentioned:

James Cook Cook, James (1728–79) DSB
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Institutions mentioned:

Geographical Society of London Geographical Society of London
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    A series of disjointed observations on natural and social phenomena. For example, begins by claiming that 'Early Science has its martyrs: so has the gout'. Later notes that 'The rainfall in the course of the year in some countries than in others, and is thought to vary with the weather' and that 'The climate of Madagascar has lately been subjected to a searching chemical analysis by three of the first physicians of the day' who show that it consists of 'unequal parts of oxygen, ozone, common salt, and the breath of popular applause'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 113.

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Agricultural Prospects

Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Agriculture, Meteorology


Punch,  59 (1870), 114.

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"The Talking Machine"

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Machinery, Gender


    'Woman'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 115.

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On the Moors  [1/2]Charles S Keene, 'The Moors. No. 2', Punch, 59 (1870), 126

Close

C K Keene, Charles Samuel (1823–91) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery, Serial

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

C K Keene, Charles Samuel (1823–91) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Military Technology, Hunting, Progress


    Shows two Scottish gamekeepers and a hunter on a highland moor. One of them stands before a mitrailleuse (a breach-loading machine gun), which he aims into the distance. The caption explains that much to the 'disgust' of the keepers, the hunter, 'Mr. Snapwincke, who has a view to a "Big Bag" of his moor in as short a time as possible [...] can't see why you should shut your eyes to the advance of science' and builds the new weapon 'on a principle of his own'.


See also:

Charles S Keene, 'The Moors. No. 2', Punch, 59 (1870), 126


Punch,  59 (1870), 115.

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Birds and Bumpkins

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Hunting, Cruelty


    Discusses a letter in the Daily News Daily News (1846–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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from a 'Protesting Ratepayer' who refuses to pay the vestrymen of his Northamptonshire village for destroying thirty thousand sparrows and their eggs.



Punch,  59 (1870), 116.

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A New History of Inventions  [3/3]Anon, 'A New History of Inventions', Punch, 58 (1870), 215
Anon, 'A New History of Inventions', Punch, 58 (1870), 237

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Anon

Genre:

Essay, Drollery, Serial

Subjects:

Music, Invention, Medical Practitioners, Travel, Exploration, Ornithology, Discovery


    A series of disjointed stories of invention, most of which play on the similarity of the name of the invention and that of the alleged inventor. Claiming that John Blow Blow, John (1648?–1708) ODNB
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invented the hand-bellows, describes how Blow presented his instrument to various dignitaries. It proved so popular that its manufacturer in 'Air Street' was 'overwhelmed with orders from all parts of he kingdom and the Channel Islands'. Similarly, describes how 'DR. FARMER, one of the original writers of the Pharmacopoeia', explained his construction of 'a new and improved Sowing-Machine'. Notes the discovery by Christopher Columbus Columbus, Christopher (1451–1506) CBD
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of 'canaries at sunrise on the morrow of St. Martin, in the lovely islands in the Platonic Ocean which derive their name from these favourite little warblers', and concludes by discussing various theories concerning the invention of horseshoes.



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Issue 1523 (17 September 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 117.

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To Pisciculturists

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Zoology, Religious Authority


Punch,  59 (1870), 123.

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Ordinary Occurrences

Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Breeding, Menageries, Zoology


    A series of disjointed observations on the natural and social world. These include a report that 'The rhinoceros in MR. LYONS'S menagerie last night presented the elephant with a fine foal. This is the first instance on record of a pachydermatous hybrid, which, should it fortunately survive, will doubtless prove no small attraction to zoologists'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 125.

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Robbery-Bobbery

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Adulteration, Crime, Measurement, Instruments


    Noting that adulterating milk with water is now called 'bobbing the milk', asks why the 'Bobby' (policeman) cannot do something against 'Bobbing'? Suggests that 'We might give him a Lactometer, and bid him use it during his early lounge. If it revealed adulateration, let him avenge the milk-can by a dig in the bread-basket. This would be a good specimen of provisional Government'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 126.

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The Moors. No. 2  [2/2]Charles S Keene, 'On the Moors', Punch, 59 (1870), 115

Close

C K Keene, Charles Samuel (1823–91) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>
Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery, Serial

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

C K Keene, Charles Samuel (1823–91) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>
Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Military Technology, Hunting


    The sequel to Charles S Keene, 'On the Moors', Punch, 59 (1870), 115, this shows two gamekeepers and Mr Snapwincke being thrown backwards by the discharge of the mitrailleuse. The caption explains that 'owing to some mistake, after several misses, all the barrels go off at once', causing the weapon to kick out 'right and left and all round'.



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Issue 1524 (24 September 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 129.

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The "Captain" HMS Captain
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Foundered (On Wednesday, September 7, 1870)

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Military Technology, Steamships, Accidents, Nationalism, War


    Laments the loss of the ironclad, HMS Captain, on its maiden voyage. This was 'The finest ship we had, The finest on the sea'. Ponders the fact that it only recently 'rejoiced' in 'that matchless turret-ship', and states that its 'few survivors' told of how the ship toppled over by a 'squall's side-blow' and 'sank to the bottom, fast, / Like a stone'. With the ship sank 'all the wealth she cost' and 'the brave', including the ship's architect, Cowper P Coles Coles, Cowper Phipps (1819–70) ODNB
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. Believes there was never an English wreck 'so sore' as this one, and ponders the 'gap in England's wall' and the fate of the bereaved. Concludes by insisting that Britons 'owe a debt' to the dead and that they will discharge this duty.



Punch,  59 (1870), 133.

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Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)  [2/5]Anon, 'Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)', Punch, 59 (1870), 113
Anon, 'Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)', Punch, 59 (1870), 139
Anon, 'Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)', Punch, 59 (1870), 169

Close

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Spoof, Serial

Subjects:

Geology, Education, Political Economy, Cultural Geography, Travel, Ethnology, Astrology

People mentioned:

Auguste Comte, Comte, Isidore Auguste Marie François Xavier (Auguste) (1798–1857) DSB
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John Dee Dee, John (1527–1608) DSB
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    A series of observations on the natural and social world. For example, 'An acquaintance with Geology is much more common than is generally supposed: we all know chalk from cheese'. Also, Alexander von Humboldt Humboldt, Alexander von (Friedrich Wilhelm Heinrich Alexander von) (1769–1859) DSB
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'knew of no race of people, however savage and swarthy, which did not keep up the custom of saluting the bridesmaids on the return of the wedding party from church, except among the Mongols, who tattoo them, instead, with true lovers' knots and the monogram of the bride and groom interlaced, in red ink, at the chemist's'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 134.

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New Books

Anon

Genre:

Announcement, Spoof

Subjects:

Textbooks, Hunting, Mathematics, Universities


    Among the new titles is 'Sites and Sounds: a Treatise on Cod-fishing. By a Senior Angler'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 136.

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Just a Little Fishy

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Mathematics, Gender, Hunting


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Issue 1525 (1 October 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 137.

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Meditations on the Eve of Michaelmas. By a Man of Feeling

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Animal Behaviour


Punch,  59 (1870), 139.

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Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)  [3/5]Anon, 'Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)', Punch, 59 (1870), 113
Anon, 'Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)', Punch, 59 (1870), 133
Anon, 'Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)', Punch, 59 (1870), 169

Close

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Spoof, Serial

Subjects:

Societies, Psychology, Agriculture, Disease

Institutions mentioned:

British Association for the Advancement of Science British Association for the Advancement of Science
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Punch,  59 (1870), 143.

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Comparative Anthropology

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Societies, Anthropology, Race, Gender, Class, Animal Behaviour, Cultural Geography


    Noting the visit of the regular Punch contributor, Smelfungus, to the meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science British Association for the Advancement of Science
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, presents an extract from John Lubbock's Lubbock, Sir John, 4th Baronet and 1st Baron Avebury (1834–1913) DSB ODNB
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address 'On the Social and Religious Condition of the Lower Races of Man' (a version of which was published as Lubbock 1871 Lubbock, John 1871. 'The Social and Religious Condition of the Lower Races of Man. An Address to the Working Men of Liverpool', in Annual Report of the Board of Regents of the Smithsonian Institution. Showing the Operation, Expenditures, and Condition of the Institution, for the Year 1869, Washington: Government Printing Office, 341–362
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). Lubbock observes that women are treated like slaves among 'savages', especially 'Australian savages' who appear to have inflicted wounds on the heads of their women. The author questions whether any difference exists between 'the condition of women in the wilds of Australia and the wives in the London slums', since husbands in the former location use spears to inflict wounds, while those in London use their fists to give their spouses 'black eyes and bruises'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 143.

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Ozokerit: A Plant (From a Manuscript in a Collection, Entitled "Fakements of ye Future", Ascribed to DR. DEE Dee, John (1527–1608) DSB
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)

Anon

Genre:

Essay, Spoof

Subjects:

Light, Invention


Punch,  59 (1870), 144.

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Queries Germane to Germs. (To PROFESSOR HUXLEY Huxley, Thomas Henry (1825–95) DSB
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)

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Zoology, Meteorology, Animal Development, Evolution, Measurement, Matter Theory


    A response to Huxley's recent address to the British Association for the Advancement of Science British Association for the Advancement of Science
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(a version of which was published as Huxley 1871 Huxley, Thomas Henry 1871. 'Address', Report of the Fortieth Meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science, Held at Liverpool in September 1870, lxxxiii–lxxxix
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), the author begins by asking Huxley to clarify his claim that there are germs in the atmosphere. Asks whether he means live germs which are 'animacules' that form 'In an infusion [...] of hay' rather than eggs which would lead to the 'absurd' notion that infusoria laid eggs in the air. Proceeds to question what Huxley means by the 'exceedingly small' size of germs of live matter, asking him 'how much more so than matter is all'. Explains that germs will not be destroyed by 'sulphuric acid and fire', but insists that 'more proof' is needed to support Huxley's claim regarding the nature of germs. Concludes by suggesting that 'all we can safely declare' is that 'Germs are small particles floating in the air'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 144.

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Euthanasia Extraordinary

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Death, Animal Development, Natural Law, Electromagnetism, Electricity, Analogy


    Discusses a report in the Morning Post Morning Post and Daily Advertising Pamphlet (1772–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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relating that a man's death had been attributed to the selling of his horse for a high price. The newspaper reported that it was said that if the horse had won another race it would have killed the owner, since he was so excited by it. Suggesting that the man probably died of the 'excess of happiness' caused by the sale of the horse, the author argues that this case is an 'edifying exception' to the 'mysterious biological law, seemingly analogous to that of electrical induction', by which the 'positive nobleness of that noble animal the horse appears generally to induce an opposite condition upon those who have habitually much to do with it'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 145.

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A French Check Upon Trade Cheats

Cavendo Tutus Tutus, Cavendo
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Adulteration, Crime, Nutrition, Medical Treatment, Cultural Geography


    Lamenting the high incidence of food adulteration in France, presents an extract from a report criticizing the level of British fines for adulteration, which are too low to act as a deterrent, and presents a further extract describing the far heavier penalties imposed by French authorities on adulterators. Wishes the French system to be adopted in Britain and, following the French system of publishing the offences of the adulterator, presents a series of examples of the foul deeds of shady food and drug adulterators.



Punch,  59 (1870), 146.

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Great Want of Irrigation

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Military Technology, Invention, Politics


    Suggests that 'some clever engineer' should devise a machine for throwing water constructed on similar principles to 'that horrid implement of destruction, the Mitrailleuse'. Believes that such a machine could disperse a disaffected crowd in Hyde Park or Trafalgar Square.



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Issue 1526 (8 October 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 153.

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Poetic Trade Intelligence

Longfellow Scott Southey Tennyson Pope Jones Jones, Longfellow Scott Southey Tennyson Pope
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof; Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Political Economy, Telegraphy


Punch,  59 (1870), 154.

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Fowl and Fish

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Zoology, Animal Behaviour


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Issue 1527 (15 October 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 157.

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Schooling for the City

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Education, Nutrition


    Notes that a deputation recently waited on the Lord Mayor of London, Robert Besley Besley, Robert (1794–1876) WBI
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, to secure his help in promoting 'Technical Education'. Suggests that, given the City of London's Corporation of London
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penchant for sumptuous banquets, 'Technical Education' refers to 'instruction in practical Gastronomy'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 157.

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Puzzle for Painstakers

Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Physiology, Disease


    Describes a 'new book', The Mystery of Pain Hinton, James 1870. The Mystery of Pain: A Book for the Sorrowful, 4th edn, London: Smith, Elder
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, which deals with a subject 'reason can't explain' but which is 'too certainly made out' since a 'stomach-ache 'tis pain enough to rue'. Concludes by advising readers, 'Rack not your brains and get a headache too'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 165.

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A Few Notes on Social Science

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

J S Sands, J (fl. 1870–1880) Spielmann 1895
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Societies, War, Zoology, Animal Behaviour, Natural History, Race, Comparative Anatomy, Astronomy, Psychology, Mental Illness, Political Economy

People mentioned:

John Lubbock Lubbock, Sir John, 4th Baronet and 1st Baron Avebury (1834–1913) DSB ODNB
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    The initial letter forms part of an illustration showing an aged philosopher sitting at a desk in his study, with a copy of 'Animated Nature' open before him. Begins by suggesting that 'Philosophy at Liverpool', a reference to the recent meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science British Association for the Advancement of Science
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, was 'a great success' because 'People have been hearing so much about War that they are glad to meet where bellicose topics are excluded'. Assesses the virtues of Brighton as the host city for the next association meeting, noting that the 'Marine Section could have its specimens fresh out of water'. Urges readers to peruse reports of the papers in the Athenaeum Athenaeum (1828–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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, and comments on some of the papers presented. For example, claims that the paper on 'Mothaemoglobin' (a reference to a paper by E Ray Lankester Lankester, Sir Edwin Ray (1847–1929) DSB ODNB
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, a version of which was published as Lankester 1871 Lankester, Edwin Ray 1871. 'Note on Methæmoglobin', Report of the Fortieth Meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science, Held at Liverpool in September 1870, Notes and Abstracts of Miscellaneous Communications to the Sections, 141
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) concerned 'the instinct, or disease, which induces moths to burn themselves in the Globes of lamps'. Notes that, in the 'Moon-Section', it was claimed 'that Plato Plato (428–348/7 BC) DSB
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[a reference to the lunar crater of that name] is found to be habitually covered with a great number of spots', which 'seemed easily accounted for' given that 'He is very difficult to read, and when a student lays down his pipe to turn to the lexicon, baccy will often escape'. In the 'Biological Section' there was a paper 'proving that "in certain persons over-study has a tendency to cause insanity', which contained the caveat that such persons were 'infinitesimal' in number compared with the 'number of those in whom under-study has already developed something like idiotcy'. The article alludes to a number of other presentations at the meeting, versions of which were later published as Carruthers 1871 Carruthers, William 1871. 'On the History and Affinities of the British Coniferæ', Report of the Fortieth Meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science, Held at Liverpool in September 1870, Notes and Abstracts of Miscellaneous Communications to the Sections, 71
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, Cobbold 1871 Cobbold, Thomas Spencer 1871. 'Remarks on the Heart of a Chinese Dog containing Haematozoa, received from R. Swinhoe, Esq., H.B.M. Consul, Amoy China', Report of the Fortieth Meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science, Held at Liverpool in September 1870, Notes and Abstracts of Miscellaneous Communications to the Sections, 135
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, Humphry 1871 Humphry George Murray 1871. 'On the Homological Relations to one another of the Fins of Fishes', Report of the Fortieth Meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science, Held at Liverpool in September 1870, Notes and Abstracts of Miscellaneous Communications to the Sections, 141
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, Birt 1871 Birt, William Radcliffe 1871. 'On the Present State of the Question relative to Lunar Activity or Quiescence', Report of the Fortieth Meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science, Held at Liverpool in September 1870, Notes and Abstracts of Miscellaneous Communications to the Sections, 20–22
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, Davis 1871 Davis, A S 1871. 'On the Distribution of Cometic Perihelia', Report of the Fortieth Meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science, Held at Liverpool in September 1870, Notes and Abstracts of Miscellaneous Communications to the Sections, 22–23
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, and Stoney 1871 Stoney, George Johnstone 1871. 'On the Effect which a Mint Charge has upon the value of Coins, to which is added a Proposition for securing at once some of the advantages of International Coinage', Report of the Fortieth Meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science, Held at Liverpool in September 1870, Notes and Abstracts of Miscellaneous Communications to the Sections, 201–203
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. Concludes by presenting Mr Punch's congratulations to the 'Philosophers of Liverpool'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 166.

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A Pastoral Rebuke

C K Keene, Charles Samuel (1823–91) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

C K Keene, Charles Samuel (1823–91) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Navigation, Secularism


    Shows two lost male ramblers in a church, standing before a 'High-Church Priest'. One tries to get his bearings from the position of the church's chancel window, but the priest tells them not to use his church 'for a secular purpose', asserting, 'you'll find an unconsecrated weathercock on the barn yonder'.



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Issue 1528 (22 October 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 167.

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Sisters of the Scalpel

Rosa Rosa
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Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Practitioners, Dissection, Gender


    The writer expresses her disgust at a report from the British Medical Journal British Medical Journal (1857–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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, reprinted in the Morning Post Morning Post and Daily Advertising Pamphlet (1772–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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, of six ladies who are dissecting a female subject in Peter D Handyside's Handyside, Peter David (1808–81) RLIN
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'Practical Anatomy Room'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 169.

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Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)  [5/5]Anon, 'Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)', Punch, 59 (1870), 113
Anon, 'Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)', Punch, 59 (1870), 133
Anon, 'Extracts from my Common-Place Book. (N.B. The Authorities Will Be Kept till Called for)', Punch, 59 (1870), 139

Close

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Spoof, Serial

Subjects:

Archaeology, Statistics


    A series of observations on natural and social phenomena. For example, 'that if the postage stamps, used by Great Britain and her dependencies in the course of twelve months, were heaped up together, they would form an enormous pile exactly corresponding to the Great Pyramid Great Pyramid of Giza, Egypt
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in weight and dimensions'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 170.

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A Serious Publication

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Religious Authority, Astronomy, Geology


    Notes the publication of Granny's Chapters on Scriptural Subjects Ross, Mary, Lady 1870–72. "Granny's Chapters" (On Scriptural Subjects) [With Preface by E. M. Goulburn], Series 1 and 2, 4 vols, London: ???
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. Emphasises the novelty of having a 'biblical commentator to come out avowedly in the character of an old woman' and hopes the author 'will be found to have so acquitted herself therein, especially by her manner of dealing, for example, with astronomy and geology in relation to a portion of her subject-matter, as to delight Convocation, astonish COLENSO Colenso, John William (1814–83) ODNB
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, and make philosophers see that they must not pretend to instruct their Grandmother in a method of eating eggs'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 174.

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To the Marines

Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Publishing, Steamships, Pneumatics


Punch,  59 (1870), 174.

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"Game" in the Highlands

Anon

Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Subjects:

Hunting, Evolution, Animal Development


    Shows an English military officer (in civilian costume) and a highland Scotsman leading a game hunt. Captain Jinks is pleased to learn from the evidently confused Donald that the land has 'tousans' of birds and zebras, but only 'ane or twa' gorillas.



Punch,  59 (1870), 175.

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Freeman Calling for Firearms

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Military Technology


Punch,  59 (1870), 175.

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The Progress of Warfare

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Aeronautics, Military Technology, War


    Notes from an article in The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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that the French are sending balloons to the provinces not occupied by the Germans, which are followed by the light cavalry 'as long as they continue in sight'. Punning on the word 'light', suggests that only 'light cavalry' could follow the balloons through the air.



Punch,  59 (1870), 176.

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Five Minutes with Bismarck Bismarck, Prince Otto Edward Leopold von, Duke of Lauenburg (1815–98) CBD
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. (From Our Special Correspondent)

Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Disease


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Issue 1529 (29 October 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 177.

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French War Stories

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Aeronautics, Military Technology, War, Mental Illness


    'Ballonacy'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 179.

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Hint to a Speculator

Anon

Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

Universities, Patronage

People mentioned:

William Cavendish (7th Duke of Devonshire) Cavendish, William, 7th Duke of Devonshire (1808–91) ODNB
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Institutions mentioned:

University of Oxford University of Oxford
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Punch,  59 (1870), 183.

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Par Ballon Monté

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Aeronautics, War, Military Technology, Amusement, Meteorology, Measurement, Analytical Chemistry


    Responding to news that the French are using balloons in their war with Prussia, begins by telling balloon pioneers Michel J de Montgolfier Montgolfier, Michel Joseph de (1740–1810) DSB
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and Jean F Pilatre de Rozier Pilatre de Rozier, Jean François (1754–85) DSB
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that their invention, 'That the world scorn'd as useless', has 'At last proved its claim / To all that you asked for it'. Notes that the balloon initially 'Seemed, for no higher purpose' than entertainment, raising Mme Poitevin Poitevin, Mme. (fl. 1850) http://www.balloonlife.com/publications/balloon_life/9512/history.htm
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, Charles Green Green, Charles (1785–1870) ODNB
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, and elephants into the air to draw crowds at pleasure gardens. However, now it is used to measure 'The infinite of space, / Or sift the fluffy cloudlets / That speckle heaven's bright face' and to 'Take soundings of the atmosphere, / Or analyse sky-blue', and now it enables James Glaisher Glaisher, James (1809–1903) DSB
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and Henry T Coxwell Coxwell, Henry (Tracey) (1819–1900) ODNB
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to record 'in weight and measure / The secrets of the air'. Balloons are now used to evade 'Prussia's Iron grasp' that grips Paris, models such as the Géant Géant, balloon
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evading the 'Prussian bullets' and riding over towers and tides. Points out that balloons can bear 'weightier freight', noting the balloon that constituted French minister of the interior Léon M Gambetta's Gambetta, Léon Michel (1838–82) CBD
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'chariot of estate'. However, the author warns that Gambetta's balloon quickly collapsed as 'hopes builds France thereon'. Concludes by noting the connection between the rise and fall of 'hopes and trusts' and the corresponding trajectory of balloons.



Punch,  59 (1870), 186.

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Irish Phials of Wrath

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, War, Cultural Geography, Nationalism


    Noting the story of an Irish boy who uses the word 'physic' to mean 'kill', recommends the story to French authorities charged with receiving Irish gentlemen who have volunteered to attend the French wounded in the Franco-Prussian war. Suggests that the Irish gentlemen may be intending to fill sick-beds.



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Issue 1530 (5 November 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 187.

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Fall of Fortifications

Jeremiah Bumps Bumps, Jeremiah
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Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

Phrenology, Gender, Psychology, Anthropology, War


    Relishes an extract from a Morning Post Morning Post and Daily Advertising Pamphlet (1772–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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report that, owing to the hostilities between Germany and France, German ladies have stopped wearing chignons. Since 'The proper study of mankind is man, especially woman', and since its 'most important branch' is phrenology, the removal of chignons from women's heads will facilitate better 'phrenological observation' of 'the better half of mankind'. Explains that it was impossible to examine a young lady's head owing to the chignon, and the 'natural hair piled in turrets and fortifications over all the organs of the moral sentiments'. Removal of this 'superstructure' often revealed that the woman had only a 'large Love of Approbation which uncombined with Ideality, and undirected by intelligence, rendered her the slave of fashion, and grotesque'. Believes the fall of the chignon and 'adjoining fortifications' will follow that of the Metz, and thus compensate for French 'Combativeness and Destructiveness'. The writer concludes by identifying himself as a 'disciple' of Franz J Gall Gall, Franz Joseph (1758–1828) DSB
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and Johann C Spurzheim Spurzheim, Johann Christoph (1776–1832) DSB
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.



Punch,  59 (1870), 187.

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Motto for the Irish Ambulance

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, Transport, Race, Cultural Geography


    'Walker'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 188.

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The Northern Lights

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Meteorology, Astronomy, Light, Superstition, War, Telegraphy, Magnetism, Education, Electricity, Psychology


    Begins by noting the rarity of seeing 'the heavens a-blaze / Of late on starry nights, / With green and crimson rays' and that some 'wiseacres' imagined this to be a 'dire' portent of the burning of Paris. Notes that the northern lights made 'feeble folk afraid', 'telegraphs derange' with 'Magnetic currents', and 'crowds stare [...] with fear of change'. Considers that 'A happy man is he' who knows the 'sources and the springs' of 'seeming marvels', unlike the 'clown', who is alarmed when a meteor 'shines or shoots'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 188.

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A Proper Pedant

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Societies, Mechanics, Astronomy, Human Development, Sociology


    Noting that one of the papers read at the recent British Association for the Advancement of Science British Association for the Advancement of Science
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meeting was on 'the Earth's Eccentricity' (a reference to Wallace 1871b Wallace, Alfred Russel 1871b. 'On a Diagram of the Earth's Eccentricity and the Precession of the Equinoxes, illustrating their Relation to Geological Climate and the Rate of Organic Change', Report of the Fortieth Meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science, Held at Liverpool in September 1870, Notes and Abstracts of Miscellaneous Communications to the Sections, 89
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), suggests that the next meeting of the Social Science Congress Social Science Congress
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will feature a paper on 'the Earth Inhabitant's Eccentricity'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 190, 193.

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The "Niobe of Nations"

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Travel, Comparative Philology

Publications cited:

Van Lennep 1870 Van Lennep, Henry John 1870. Travels in Little-known Parts of Asia Minor: with Illustrations of Biblical Literature and Researches in Archaeology, 2 vols, London: John Murray
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Punch,  59 (1870), 193.

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Wine, Beer, and Spirits

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Spiritualism, Scientific Practitioners, Methodology, Narcotics


    Reporting that 'the spirits of Spiritualism [...] are still rapping away', although making 'little noise outside of spiritual "circles"', argues that spirits 'never will come into Court, or allow themselves to be brought to book by any crucial test'. Distinguishes between 'the nature of things spiritual' and 'things natural' and believes there is a 'corresponding difference between Spiritualists and Philosophers'. The latter 'have no familiar spirits of the disembodied kind' although their 'familiarity' with 'distilled' spirits is 'sometimes rather too thick'; the former, according to an extract in the Medium and Daybreak Medium and Daybreak (1870–95) Waterloo Directory
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, are 'almost everywhere [...] staunch teetotallers'. Concludes that the teetotaller and spiritualist share the same 'mental condition or temperament' but points out that, given the number of 'communications' from the spirits of eminent individuals received at séances, 'Dipsomania and Teetotalism, combined as it is with Spiritualism, are extremes which sometimes appear to meet on the plane of delirium tremens'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 195.

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Punch's Essays. I—Statistics  [1/3]

Anon

Genre:

Essay, Drollery, Serial

Subjects:

Statistics, Mathematics, Societies


    Begins with several quotations from eminent people—including William Pitt (1st Earl of Chatham) Pitt, William, first Earl of Chatham ('Pitt the Elder') (1708–78) ODNB
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, Richard B Sheridan Sheridan, Richard Brinsley (1751–1816) ODNB
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, and Philip D Stanhope (4th Earl of Chesterfield) Stanhope, Philip Dormer, 4th Earl of Chesterfield (1694–1773) ODNB
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—praising the study of statistics. Contends that it 'hardly needs this accumulated weight of unimpeachable testimony, and the unanimous verdict of history, society, and posterity' to 'confirm [...] that in Statistics a man possesses the surest solace in misfortune or on a wet morning'. Presents a long list of topics for statistical analysis, including, for example, the dimensions of a column containing all the eggs that have been consumed since their use as an article of food was first entered at Stationers' Hall Stationers' Hall
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. Considers that such questions captivate people of all ages 'and constitute an ample qualification for the Fellowship of the Statistical Society Royal Statistical Society
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'. Contrasts the lasting interest of statistics with the fading appeal of such delights as the 'flavour of wine' and 'literary renown'. Concludes by counselling the reader to become 'a statistician, and you will ensure the respect of all the people in your neighbourhood, and live to an advanced age'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 195.

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Weeds of the Future

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Narcotics, Disease, Death


    Responds to an extract from an 'American journalist' reporting that scientific men have recently discovered that tobacco smoking will cause death in 'one hundred and sixty-seven years'. Thinks this hint is 'premature' and points out that Mr Punch has been smoking for thirty years but has marked in a diary for 2007 his intention to reduce his smoking.



Punch,  59 (1870), 195.

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Instruction in Science Wanted

Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Meteorology, Light, Gender


^^ Back to the top of this issue

Issue 1531 (12 November 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 197.

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Mycophagy and Mycology

Smelfungus Smelfungus
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Natural History, Taxonomy, Language, Nutrition

People mentioned:

John H Balfour Balfour, John Hutton DSB
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    Discusses a report of a recent meeting of the Perthshire Society of Natural Science Perthshire Society of Natural Science
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which featured papers by John Sadler Sadler, John (1837–82) WBI
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on Perthshire flora and Francis B W White White, Francis Buchanan White (1842–94) ODNB
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on 'Sugaring for Moths', and which ended with members eating different species of funguses, each described with its abstruse technical name, 'cooked in almost every conceivable manner'. Notes the distinction made by 'modern mycologists and mycophagists' between boletus and fungus, and explains that although many funguses are edible, 'few Britons dare venture upon any but the Common Mushroom'. Suggests that this may be due to their fear of 'injury' when discussing such 'crackjaw names' as those listed in the report. Explains some of the 'trivial' names given to funguses other than the common mushroom, but points out that most people call them toadstools. Concludes by advising Mr Punch to enjoy eating the Boletus edulis fungus, which, despite its name, is a delicacy.



Punch,  59 (1870), 197.

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A Telegram with a Twist

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Telegraphy, Error, Aeronautics, Meteorology, War


    Suggests that the effects of the recent aurora borealis on telegraph cables may account for a garbled report, telegraphed from Lille, asserting that a French balloonist who landed behind Prussian lines was obliged to 'burn his dispatches and fly through Belgium'. Puzzled by the fact that the Prussians did not 'secure his dispatches' and take him prisoner, suggests that the balloon might have fallen without the aeronaut, who flew through the air to Belgium.



Punch,  59 (1870), 197.

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The Amazons of the Seine

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Telegraphy, Mesmerism, Animal Magnetism

People mentioned:

M Allix Allix, M. (fl. 1850) http://www.cs.man.ac.uk/aig/staff/toby/writing/Skeptic/pd26.html
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Punch,  59 (1870), 198.

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Great News for Little People

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Physiology, Medical Treatment, Human Development, Quackery


    Discusses an advertisement for a 'remarkable physiological discovery' purporting to help 'short persons [...] increase in Height and Symmetry'. Notes the plethora of advertised remedies for getting rid of bodily imperfections, but points out that this advertisement is from a United States naval captain who, for the price of a 'stamp directed envelope', will instruct those who are 'troubled with shortness of stature'. Suggests that another 'physiological discovery' still to be made is how to grow shorter and anticipates that an 'American philanthropist' will soon supply an appropriate remedy.



Punch,  59 (1870), 201.

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Thought by a Railway Director

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Nationalism, Progress, Imperialism


Punch,  59 (1870), 202.

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The Most Useful "Free Lances"

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, Transport


    'Ambulances'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 205.

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New Edition of a Nursery Rhyme, Revised, and Adapted to the Present Time

Anon

Genre:

Song, Drollery

Subjects:

Gender, Medical Practitioners, Education, Philosophy, Politics


    Consists of a list of eminent women arranged so that the first letter of their surnames spell out the alphabet. Each surname is followed by a short description of the woman's leading characteristic. The list includes Emily Davies Davies, (Sarah) Emily (1830–1921) ODNB
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'support, Educational Rights', Elizabeth Garrett Anderson (née Garrett), Elizabeth (1836–1917) ODNB
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'of Medical Fame', Sophia L Jex-Blake Jex-Blake, Sophia Louisa (1840–1912) ODNB
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'follows in Miss G[arrett]'s Line', Harriet Martineau Martineau, Harriet (1802–76) ODNB
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'of Experience ripe', and Florence Nightingale Nightingale, Florence (1820–1910) ODNB
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'whom to praise all men write'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 205.

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A Professional Prince

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Practitioners, Language, Surgery, Hospitals, Patronage


    Discusses a report in The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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of the 'Prince of Tour and Taxis'—a reference to Prince Maximilian Karl Maximilian Karl, Prince of Thurn und Taxis (1802–71) WBI
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of Thurn und Taxis—who is 'for ever looking about the hospitals' of Paris. Noting that surgical practice includes procedures known as 'tour de maitre' and 'taxis', suggests that the prince might be 'an illustrious Surgeon' whose name embodies his eminence in 'a truly noble science'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 207.

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Change of Nomenclature

Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Meteorology, Electricity, Magnetism, Language, Gender


    Reports that a simpleton, young Chesney Rolleston, who is 'not scientific', has 'heard so much' of the 'Aurora' and its causes, that he is 'utterly weary of the phenomenon, and thinks it ought to be called the Aurora Boreallus'. Notes that his 'AURORA'—evidently his female partner—'is quite of a different description'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 208.

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Song of a Solemnity. November 9, 1870

Anon

Genre:

Song, Drollery

Subjects:

Engineering, Display


    Describes the reaction of Father Thames to the pageant staged to mark the opening of the Thames Embankment Thames Embankment
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.



Punch,  59 (1870), 208.

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A Card on Post-Cards

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Quackery, Medical Practitioners


^^ Back to the top of this issue

Issue 1532 (19 November 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 209.

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If Liebig Liebig, Justus von (1803–73) DSB
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= Big-lie

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, War, Quackery


    Surprised that Liebig's 'Extract' is 'one of the articles most abundantly supplied to our ambulances at the seat of war', because the French have had a 'superabundance' of unreliable articles owing to the activities of 'the journalists and GAMBETTA Gambetta, Léon Michel (1838–82) CBD
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'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 210.

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Armies in the Air

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Aeronautics, War, Military Technology


Punch,  59 (1870), 216.

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A Roaring Trade

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Menageries, Zoology, Animal Behaviour


    'Keeping a Menagerie'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 217.

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The Hog in Armour

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Military Technology, Metallurgy


^^ Back to the top of this issue

Issue 1533 (26 November 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 219.

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Vote for the Ladies

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Gender, Education


    Urges readers to vote for Elizabeth Garrett Anderson (née Garrett), Elizabeth (1836–1917) ODNB
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, Maria G Grey Grey, Maria Georgina (1816–1906) ODNB
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, and Emily Davies Davies, (Sarah) Emily (1830–1921) ODNB
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who are standing for election to the London School Board London School Board
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. Explains that the duties of the board include settling the cost of school fees and compelling parents to send their children to school—duties which Mr Punch thinks is eminently 'woman's work'. Emphasises that Garrett will also 'add sound medical knowledge, and can advise on all sanatory questions connected with schools' and thus be 'invaluable' to the board. Adds that Garrett and the other ladies 'profess no "strong-minded women's" doctrines, but those which all rational men would teach'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 221.

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Latest Fashions

F W Woods, F (fl. 1874) Spielmann 1895
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

F W Woods, F (fl. 1874) Spielmann 1895
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Aeronautics, Gender, Amusement


    Shows two ladies dressed for a ball, conversing outside the ballroom. Augusta compliments Ada on her 'sweet head-dress' and asks where she bought it. Ada replies: 'It's quite new dear. It only arrived to-day from Paris in a balloon, or by balloon-post'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 222.

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"Not Loose Yet"

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

War, Animal Behaviour, Politics


    Portraying Russia as a bear, describes how the bear was wounded by Britain 'fifteen years since' (a reference to the Crimean War) but now, 'Bruin's wounds have healed, / His fangs and claws have grown again; / The fur, once from red gashes peeled, / Has grown o'er scars that still remain', and he feels 'hankerings for the Turkey brood'. This refers to the Russian government's imminent breach of the Treaty of Paris (1856), which prohibited its occupation of the Black Sea region. Describes how the attempts of the bear to break free are thwarted by the sleepy 'British Lion', 'A poor, old, toothless, fangless brute' who insists that 'Turkey's his friend' and 'doesn't fight to save his friends'. The British lion is wakened by the bear's attempt to escape, but is complacent, pointing to the chain around its neck. The chain symbolises the old 'accounts' that bruin still has to 'square' with the 'Eagles of Austria, Italy', and 'Dame Turkey', and the poem concludes with the British lion's assurances that the bear is not yet loose.



Punch,  59 (1870), [223]–[224].

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"Not Loose Yet"

J T Tenniel, Sir John (1820–1914) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

J T Tenniel, Sir John (1820–1914) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

War, Animal Behaviour, Politics


    Following Anon, '"Not Loose Yet"', Punch, 59 (1870), 222 shows the Russian bear trying to chew through a rope that ties it to a wall. Nearby stands the British lion relishing the sight of the bear being tethered. The specific constraint on Russia is indicated by a large wooden block (that prevents the rope from slipping) labelled 'Treaty of 1856'—a reference to the post-Crimean war settlement in which Russia agreed to surrender territory at the mouth of the Danube and to the Black Sea being neutral territory.



Punch,  59 (1870), 229.

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To C.E.'s

Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Engineering


^^ Back to the top of this issue

Issue 1534 (3 December 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 232.

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Strawberry Leaves  [1/10]Horace Walpole, 'Strawberry Leaves', Punch, 59 (1870), 244
Horace Walpole, 'Strawberry Leaves', Punch, 59 (1870), 261
Anon, 'Strawberry Leaves', Punch, 60 (1871), 11–12
Anon, 'Strawberry Leaves', Punch, 60 (1871), 28–29

Close

Horace Walpole Walpole, Horace
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Genre:

Reportage, Spoof, Serial

Subjects:

Human Development, Animal Behaviour, Spiritualism


Punch,  59 (1870), 238.

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Donkey for Dinner

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Nutrition, Cultural Geography, Physiology


    Notes that in Paris donkey meat sells for more than horse-meat and is judged to be as much of a delicacy as veal. Considers the taste of donkey meat and veal remarkably similar, and notes that 'Calf and Ass, as applied to certain kind of person, are convertible terms'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 239.

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Our Calculating Girls

Anon

Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

Mathematics, Skill, Gender


    Noting the 'cleverness of certain calculating boys', discusses the mathematical skill of 'many girls', appealing to the example of a 'young lady who, within five minutes of her entering a ball-room, can calculate the cost of every toilette present, down to the minutest article comprised in it'. Goes on to describe other aspects of her astonishing abilities to calculate such quantities as 'how many yards of muslin, silk or satin are contained in every dress', and 'how many times MISS SKIMPLE must have worn that coral wreath'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 239.

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Birds of Bad Habits

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Animal Behaviour, Ornithology, Gender


    Notes a correspondent's observation in The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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of house-martens flying in the High Streeet of Great Marlow, Buckinghamshire. Reminds the author of 'late birds' who remain at parties till early in the morning.



^^ Back to the top of this issue

Issue 1535 (10 December 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 241.

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Charming Military Suggestion

Anon

Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

War, Animal Behaviour, Zoological Gardens, Gender


    Discusses a letter in the Morning Post Morning Post and Daily Advertising Pamphlet (1772–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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from a female correspondent who suggested that Parisians might fight the Prussian army by setting upon them 'all the wild animals of the Jardin des Plantes Jardin des Plantes, Paris
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'. Points out that 'no man can wonder that' such wild animals would 'most likely turn their tails and attack their proprietors the Parisians', but considers it a 'happy thing' for nations to fight each other with 'savage and ferocious beasts'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 244.

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Strawberry Leaves  [2/10]Anon, 'Donkey for Dinner', Punch, 59 (1870), 238
Horace Walpole, 'Strawberry Leaves', Punch, 59 (1870), 261
Anon, 'Strawberry Leaves', Punch, 60 (1871), 11–12
Anon, 'Strawberry Leaves', Punch, 60 (1871), 28–29

Close

Horace Walpole Walpole, Horace
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Genre:

Reportage, Spoof, Serial

Subjects:

Education, Politics, Medical Practitioners, Gender, Spiritualism


     The subtitle reports that the letters from Horace Walpole to 'Sir Horace Mann' have been given to Punch by its 'private spiritual medium'. Walpole tells Mann that he has been electing a school board (a reference to the recent elections to the London School Board London School Board
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), one member of which is 'a delightful lady, a friend of mine, and a Doctor of Medicine' who 'headed everybody by a terrific majority'. He presents some verses written about this woman, who proves to be Elizabeth Garrett Anderson (née Garrett), Elizabeth (1836–1917) ODNB
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.



Punch,  59 (1870), 244.

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Our Educationists

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Education, Medical Practitioners, Gender

People mentioned:

Emily Davies, Davies, (Sarah) Emily (1830–1921) ODNB
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Elizabeth Garrett Anderson (née Garrett), Elizabeth (1836–1917) ODNB
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Institutions mentioned:

London School Board London School Board
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Punch,  59 (1870), 249.

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Misleading

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Lecturing, Agriculture, Geology, Language


    Cautions Smithfield Club Cattle Show Smithfield Club—Cattle Show
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exhibitors that the 'Swiney Swiney, George (1786?–1844) ODNB
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Lecturer' at the British Museum British Museum
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will actually be speaking on geology.



Punch,  59 (1870), 250.

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A Very Great Man

W Ralston Ralston, William (fl. 1850–1907) WBI
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

W Ralston Ralston, William (fl. 1850–1907) WBI
Close   View the register entry >>
Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Engineers, Heroism, Steam-power, Engineering


    Shows an 'intelligent' policeman standing in front of three tourists (a man and two women). With his thumb he gestures towards a large statue, explaining that 'This monument is for a countryman o' ma ain—Jeems Watt Watt, James (1736–1819) DSB
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, the inventor o' steam'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 250.

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Food for the Female Mind

Louisa Louisa
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Physiology, Physical Geography, Geology, Lecturing, Gender, Language, Time, Aesthetics, Environmentalism, Pollution, Education


    Begins by noting Thomas H Huxley's Huxley, Thomas Henry (1825–95) DSB
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series of lectures to women on science and art, given in South Kensington. Presents an extract from the lecture on 'Physiography' (which was published 'in a newspaper') describing the denudation of the Thames basin. Huxley predicts that the 'surface of Britain would everywhere be washed down to a plain level with the sea in less than 5,000,000 years'. The writer is alarmed by how old the world will get 'if it lasts long enough' and notes how 'terrible' it is 'even now'. Considering Huxley's estimates of the age of the earth to be reliable, argues that 'poets and other writers' will have to stop referring to 'Mother Earth', because it 'makes out the earth to be an old woman': 'no woman, young or old, ever tells her age' but Huxley has calculated the age of the earth to be 'some millions of years at least'. Laments the prospect of Britain becoming a 'plain old thing' in 5,000,000 years, but points out that it is surprising that Britain 'still preserves any beauty at all, what with the tall chimneys, and one horrid object and another'. Concludes by praising Huxley's lectures as 'so interesting' and in a postscript the author expresses her fondness for 'mental food'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 251.

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The Pursuit of Science

C K Keene, Charles Samuel (1823–91) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

C K Keene, Charles Samuel (1823–91) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>
Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Mining, Class


    Shows a 'pretty, but Scientific governess' and her companion standing before a group of miners who relax outside a counting house. The governess asks them if she can 'obtain a specimen of this mine' but one of the miners replies that 'this ere's a worked-out mine, and us three's the only specimen's left. At your 'umble service, Miss, I'm sure'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 251.

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Progress and Peace

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Progress, Steam-power, Electricity, Chemistry, Photography, Physiology, Education, Invention, War, Railways, Publishing, Telegraphy, Politics


    Begins by acknowledging that steam, electricity, and chemistry have 'worked many wonders and that it was 'hoped they'd much conduce to the advancement of Society'. Praises the fact that photography has effected 'many faithful likenesses', that 'lovely woman is learning Physiography', and that 'We've all sort of conveniences, and comforts, and facilities'. Ends by noting that 'Successive wars and bloodshed, upon land and upon ocean / Have been immensely furthered by our means of locomotion, / Cheap Press, magnetic telegraph, and rapid information', and hopes 'we derive more profit from extended education' (a reference to William E Forster's Forster, William Edward (1818–86) ODNB
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Education Act).



Punch,  59 (1870), 251.

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Ball-Practice and Balloons

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Aeronautics, War, Military Technology


    Discusses a letter that the aeronaut, Wilfrid de Fonvielle Fonvielle, Wilfrid de (b. 1828) WBI
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, sent to The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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. Fonvielle boasts that Prussian gunfire directed at the balloon did not thwart its ascent. However, Punch stresses the danger of firing at a balloon above a certain height, since it might be out of range of the gunners while they are still within the range of the aeronaut, who can drop grape-shot on them from a great height.



Punch,  59 (1870), 251.

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Puzzling her Tradesmen

Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Pharmaceuticals, Gender


Punch,  59 (1870), 252.

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School Boards

Ignoramus Ignoramus
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof; Exam Paper, Spoof

Subjects:

Education, Industry, Telegraphy, Language, Physical Geography, Mathematics, Class


    The author reflects on the recent school board elections and asks 'what guarantee the Ratepayers have that those they select to be Guardians of the ignorant and untaught, are themselves fairly acquainted with the ordinary branches of knowledge'. Worries that the candidates for seats on school boards are inadequately qualified and adds that he suspects that 'ignorance rages amongst the middle and higher as well as the lower classes'. Admits that he cannot do anything about the boards that have already been elected but hopes that in future William E Forster Forster, William Edward (1818–86) ODNB
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will insist that board members are appointed after giving satisfactory answers to 'a few easy, simple questions'. Presents a 'specimen paper' and expresses his interest in hearing from Mr Punch or Forster (Vice-President of the Committee of Council on Education Committee of Council on Education
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) whether the answers support his contention regarding the knowledge of those implementing Forster's Education Act. The questions include giving the date of birth of Isaac Newton Newton, Sir Isaac (1642–1727) DSB
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, providing a short account of various manufacturing processes, explaining the operation of the electric telegraph, defining various scientific terms, and locating the position of a number of geographical and engineering features.



Punch,  59 (1870), 252.

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Three Cheers for the Ladies

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Education, Politics, Medical Practitioners, Gender

People mentioned:

Emily Davies, Davies, (Sarah) Emily (1830–1921) ODNB
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Elizabeth Garrett Anderson (née Garrett), Elizabeth (1836–1917) ODNB
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Issue 1536 (17 December 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 253.

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"Last Scene of All!"

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Agriculture, Exhibitions, Animal Behaviour


Punch,  59 (1870), 255.

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"Up Above the World So High"

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Meteorology, Sociology


    Believes the 'realm of Nature' has been influenced by 'our artificial state of society', owing to a 'monthly history of the weather' article in The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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describing a 'conventional black cloud'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 260.

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Police Tyranny

C K Keene, Charles Samuel (1823–91) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

C K Keene, Charles Samuel (1823–91) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Class, Crime, Sanitation


    Shows a line of dirty tramps slouching against a wall outside a police station. A policeman picks on one 'obtrusive tramp', asks him why he's 'shoving himself in before these poor people out o' your turn', and tells him that unless he stands back he 'shall have such a wash'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 260.

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Women's Natural Rights

Anon

Genre:

Essay

Subjects:

Gender, Morality, Human Development, Animal Behaviour


    Discusses a debate on married women's property at the Victoria Discussion Society Victoria Discussion Society
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. Agrees with the argument of one participant, Mr Hoskyns Hoskyns, Mr (fl. 1870) PU1/59/24/4
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, that 'husbands should treat their wives as equal human beings', but points out that chivalrous behaviour by men reinforces the differences between husbands and wives. Punch considers such etiquette 'right' and that 'Persons of the ruder sex' who often remark that 'Woman [...] is the inferior animal' can be challenged with the argument that 'Yes [...] but she is the superior human being'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 261.

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Strawberry Leaves  [3/10]Anon, 'Donkey for Dinner', Punch, 59 (1870), 238
Horace Walpole, 'Strawberry Leaves', Punch, 59 (1870), 244
Anon, 'Strawberry Leaves', Punch, 60 (1871), 11–12
Anon, 'Strawberry Leaves', Punch, 60 (1871), 28–29

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Horace Walpole Walpole, Horace
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Genre:

Essay, Drollery, Serial

Subjects:

Spiritualism, Astronomy, Observation, Travel, Patronage, Government, Cultural Geography, Lecturing, Light, Instruments, Spectroscopy, Supernaturalism


    In a letter from Horace Walpole to 'Sir Horace Mann', given to Punch by its 'private spiritual medium', it is reported that the 'Eclipse philosophers' have 'gone forth to seize the precious two minutes'—a reference to the solar eclipse expedition of 1870. Suspects that the philosophers' wives have gone with them to 'dust up the sun and moon and make them fit for inspection', but refuses to give himself a headache trying to understand the purpose of the expedition. Explains that he told a little girl that the reason why the sun and moon are round was because if they were square 'their corners might have been knocked off in eclipses'. He claims that the 'Government dawdled terribly in giving assistance which the astronomers required', and praises the great 'zeal and sense' of the American astronomers who 'seldom talk wisely, and never act foolishly'. Later notes an 'astronomical talk' given by a geologist, Sir Wrock Tapper, at the house of a 'vulgar' woman Miss V——. Explains that the lecturer offered to 'fetch a spectroscope', but Miss V—— refused, stressing that 'she hated ghosts and all their belongings'. The author adds that he has heard that the polariscope 'reveals whether light be original or borrowed' and wishes such an instrument could be 'invented for the benefit of a book critic'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 262.

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Science in a Government Office

W R Ralston, William (fl. 1850–1907) WBI
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct. [2]

Illustrators:

W R Ralston, William (fl. 1850–1907) WBI
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Light, Amusement, Government


    The first illustration, in the top right-hand corner of the page, shows two bored clerks in an office, one of whom leans over his desk and reflects rays of sunlight off a mirror onto the street below. The caption invites the reader to 'Look down to the corner on the left, for the object of a scientific process'. The second illustration, in the bottom left-hand corner of the page, shows that the clerk is reflecting the light onto the face of a woman in a busy thoroughfare, who is blinded by it.



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Issue 1537 (24 December 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 263.

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Watkins in Excelsis (An Ode)

Anon

Genre:

Extract, Reportage; Poetry

Subjects:

Photography, Language


Punch,  59 (1870), 265.

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Beauty and the Badger

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Lecturing, Zoology, Animal Behaviour, Animal Development, Evolution, Extinction, Hunting, Cruelty, Politics


    Discusses Thomas H Huxley's Huxley, Thomas Henry (1825–95) DSB
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tenth lecture on 'Physiography', delivered 'for the improvement of the female mind at South Kensington' (a version of which was published as Huxley 1877 Huxley, Thomas Henry 1877. Physiography: An Introduction to the Study of Nature, London: Macmillan and Co.
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). Notes that Huxley asked his audience to reflect that animals native to Britain could also be found on the Continent, including the badger, which was not fond of swimming and was now almost extinct. Punch laments the decline of the badger and explains that it has been 'improved off the face of the British earth, under the name of vermin'. Points out that the badger 'does no damage whatsoever' but destroys 'real vermin'. Contrasts the fox and the badger, explaining that the reason why the former is almost extinct and the latter still flourishes is because members of Parliament Houses of Parliament
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keep foxes alive to pursue the 'noble sport' of fox-hunting, but consider badger-baiting 'cruelty to animals'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 270.

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Susceptible Students

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Medical Practitioners, Gender, Education


    Notes that a memorial, 'complaining of the admission of ladies to the classes of certain teachers in the School of Surgery, signed by sixty-six medical students, has been presented to the Royal College of Surgeons, Edinburgh Royal College of Surgeons of Edinburgh
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'. Reports that the signatories consider the presence of women to arouse 'various feelings which tend to distract the attention' from 'important subjects of study'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 271.

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Pat and His Pigs

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Metallurgy, Mining, Economic Geology, Cultural Geography


    Reports that 'Our iron manufacturers [...] are looking for supplies of the ore in different countries', including the Arigna Mines Arigna Mines, Ireland
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, near Galway, which once offered 'good prospect of success, but "had to be abandoned from the hostile attitude of the neighbouring population"'. Claims that this shows how 'Paddy [...] has always opposed the exportation of his pigs'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 271.

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Veterinary Surgeons

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Veterinary Science, Medical Practitioners


    'Horse Leeches'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 272.

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Cannon-Paring

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Military Technology, Metallurgy, Political Economy


    Notes from recent 'Scientific Jottings' that tests on new bronze field guns cast for India show their unreliability. Chastises the author of the report for not realizing that readers would know that brass is inferior to iron and that it was chosen for cheapness.



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Issue 1538 (31 December 1870)Expand    Contract

Punch,  59 (1870), 273.

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Verdict—in re Captain HMS Captain
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Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Steamships, Military Technology, Accidents, Controversy, Politics


    A discussion of the conflict within the Admiralty Admiralty
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following the wreck of the turret ironclad, HMS Captain. Begins by noting the vitriolic exchanges between the First Lord of the Admiralty, Hugh C E Childers Childers, Hugh Culling Eardley (1827–96) ODNB
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, and the government's chief ship designer, Edward J Reed Reed, Sir Edward James (1830–1906) ODNB
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. Suggests that the only clear conclusion from the 'minutes and replies' is that the sea-lords and 'their constructors' are to blame. Alluding to Reed's unpopularity at the Admiralty, notes that he 'rose on his chief' and that since the Admiralty would not 'lean' on him they 'pierced their hand'. The outcome of this disagreement was the loss of the ship. Laments the huge cost of the wreck in terms of money and lives. Ponders the question, 'What odds at whose door heaviest blame should lie?'. Concludes by insisting that 'all the blame rests on you all'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 273.

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December the Twenty-Second

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Astronomy, Astrology, Gender


Punch,  59 (1870), 273.

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The Worst Kind of Conundrum

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Military Technology


    'Riddling with Cannon-shot'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 273.

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A Problem for the Entomological Society Entomological Society of London
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Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Entomology, Pneumatics, Mechanics


Punch,  59 (1870), 274.

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Ayrton Ayrton, Acton Smee (1816–86) ODNB
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on Himself

Anon

Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

Phrenology, Architecture, Aesthetics, Government, Politics, Controversy, Physiognomy


    Begins by noting the usefulness of phrenological 'nomenclature', irrespective of the truth or falsity of its 'physiognomical part'. Proceeds to discuss a speech by Ayrton, the Chief Commissioner of the Metropolitan Board of Works Metropolitan Board of Works
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, delivered at the opening of the new General Post Office General Post Office
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. In his address Ayrton emphasized that the building was designed for 'public convenience and utility' rather than to cater to 'ideas of fancy or taste'. Punch believes that, 'Phrenologically considered', this is 'tantamount' to Ayrton admitting that he is 'deficient in Constructiveness and Ideality', his 'Acquisitiveness is very large' and his 'Self-Esteem also greatly preponderat[es]' over his 'sense of beauty and predilection for building'. Argues that Ayrton only cares for 'sensible men' or those 'whose Acquisitiveness, like his own, exceeds their Constructiveness and Ideality'.



Punch,  59 (1870), 275.

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General Catechisms

Anon

Genre:

Catechism, Spoof

Subjects:

Gas Chemistry, Zoology


Punch,  59 (1870), 276, 279.

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A Deutscher Dove-Coo

Anon

Genre:

Extract, Address; Poetry

Subjects:

War, Societies, Politics, Universities, Cultural Geography, Nationalism, Race, Religion, Religious Authority, Natural Law, Evolution, Human Development, Animal Behaviour, Military Technology, Political Economy


    Begins with an extract claiming that the pro-rector of University of Göttingen University of Göttingen
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, Heinrich W Dove Dove, Heinrich Wilhelm (1803–79) DSB
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, has replied to an appeal by Royal Irish Academy Royal Irish Academy
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and Trinity College, Dublin Trinity College, Dublin
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asking 'the various learned bodies throughout the world' to form a 'monster protest against the threatened destruction of the scientific and art treasures of Paris by the prosecution of the siege'. The poem mocks Dove's hostile and overtly nationalistic reply to this proposal to protect French culture from the ravages of the Franco-Prussian war. Most of the stanzas are inspired by extracts from a report of Dove's speech, which are quoted in footnotes. The poet claims that Dove urged other countries to follow Germany because it is the 'Earth's light' and points out in a footnote Dove's plea that the 'German people' have always been 'seeking to realise PARACELSUS'S Paracelsus (Theophrastus Philippus Aureolus Bombastus von Hohenheim) (1493–1541) DSB
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proud remark—"English, French, Italians, follow me, not I you"'. The poem continues to urge that Germany is on the side of the just, the University of Göttingen being the upholder of 'Heaven's law' whose preservation will cause the earth to thank the university. Because England favoured 'shop and peace work' instead of military action against breachers of the peace, the Germans had to 'ordeal' the battle. (276) Draws a contrast between the Germans and all other forces in the conflict: following Dove's remark that Göttingen's students had to 'contend with African semi-savages, or the collected rabble of Garibaldian Garibaldi, Giuseppe (1807–82) CBD
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adventurers', the poem mockingly contrasts 'German Geist 'gainst French Ape-dom!' and denigrates the 'Turcos and Garibaldian crew'. The poem notes that the starvation of peasants and Parisians is due to their refusal to yield to the 'wise rule' of Göttingen University, and complains that 'fighting thus till all is blue' is keeping the university's students from their 'books'—a reference to Dove's complaint that 'German science already mourns among the fallen heroes several distinguished savants, and a large number of hopeful youths'. Dove is then shown telling John Bull to continue to 'keep thyself to thyself' and not to interfere with its pursuit of 'Heaven's work', and as telling the English that the best that the learned societies can do is to 'pitch into your own rulers' and stop them from breaching the 'principle of neutrality' by selling arms to France that are used to attack the University of Göttingen. Dove admits that Brother Jonathan (the United States of America) 'sells still more' arms to Germany and asserts 'to please him I'll bully you', even though Göttingen University does not enjoy tackling two foes. The poem concludes with Dove relishing Russia's use of German Krupp guns in its war with England and maintaining that what counts as wrong in John Bull is 'right in U- / Niversity of Göttingen'. (279)



Punch,  59 (1870), 279.

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Cigarette Papers. No. VII—My Military Acquaintance Smoked Out  [7/7]

Anon

Genre:

Short Fiction, Drollery, Serial

Subjects:

Invention, Light, Magic, Supernaturalism


    Describing how his 'military acquaintance', Pipkin, points to 'some lady' and instead of giving a 'thrilling tale' about her, 'simply' winks and shakes his head 'in an ambiguous manner'. Likens this knowing gesture to the 'ambiguous manner in which Hamlet anticipated his friends would assume when keeping the celebrated Ghost Secret'. Speculates that 'PROFESSOR PEPPER Pepper, John Henry (1821–1900) ODNB
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once made similar remarks to MR. DICKS Dircks, Henry (1806–73) ODNB
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when the "Spectral Illusion" was first introduced to the public'—an allusion to the 'secret' mechanism of the stage illusion invented by Pepper and Dircks.



Punch,  59 (1870), 280.

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Educational

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Education, Politics

People mentioned:

Elizabeth Garrett Anderson (née Garrett), Elizabeth (1836–1917) ODNB
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Institutions mentioned:

Board of Education Board of Education
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Punch,  59 (1870), 280.

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Science Gossip

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Ornithology, Animal Behaviour, Cultural Geography


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