Genre:

Extract, Miscellaneous, Drollery

Publications extracted:

Literary Chronicle

Subjects:

Commerce, Engineering, Steam-power, Adulteration, Natural Imperialism, Geology

    In response to the commercial speculation of the age, makes suggestions for a number of spoof companies: one to convert 'our granite pavements into dust, whereby persons will be compelled to stay at home'; another for 'milking cows, docking horses, and cropping two-legged puppies, by means of a steam-engine' (278); and a third for erecting a basin on the River Thames, where the water 'may at once be converted into porter, without the unnecessary process of passing through certain buildings called breweries'. A further plan is proposed 'for blowing up and dissolving the ice in the Arctic Ocean' in order to create a small block on which a colony might be established. 'A promise has already been made to the celebrated Captain Symmes, not to approach within thirty feet of the opening at the pole, to the centre of the earth, which he claims as the first discoverer'. (279)