Mirror of Literature,  7 (1826), 350–52.

Vulgarisms on Gin-Punch, by a Practical Philosopher



Extract, Poetry, Drollery

Publications extracted:

Monthly Magazine


Mathematics, Physics, Genius, Creativity, Vaccination, Steamships

    The poet discourses on the benefits of gin. It has 'scientific qualities; / For if by algebraic laws, your two and two make four, sir, / Drink gin in punch, and when you're drunk you'll make a couple more, sir [...] For tipplers all see duplicates—Quod erat demonstrandum'. Another stanza reads: 'Sir Humphry Davy tells us that boon nature knows no place, sir, / Of vacuum (aye, that's the word), for matter fills all space, sir / Oh, monstrous bounce! You'll surely find, though nature is so full, ma'am, / A vacuum in an empty-headed water-drinker's skull, ma'am'. The poet claims: ''Twas I who proved, an age ago, by genius rare and mighty, / Gin, philosophic gin, to be the grand Elixir Vitæ; / 'Twas I who found out vaccination (sure you need not grin, sir), / And first invented steam-boats, all which comes of drinking gin, sir'. (351)

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