Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Animal Husbandry, Animal Behaviour

    Written by a pig on behalf of a cow who seeks to 'vindicate the rights of my order'. Does not object to his lot (he can, for example, 'look upon a horse-radish with dry eyes though full well knowing that some day we shall come together' on a dinner plate). Resents the fact that his generation of cows, unlike his ancestors, are killed at Smithfield Market without having first enjoyed a 'leisurely stare at London shops and London people'. Promises that unless he's allowed to perform such acts as sauntering across Bridge Street and killing 'one or two of the lowest orders', he will have his revenge. Determined to 'cut up precious lean' despite the way people have fed him.