Genre:

Regular Feature, Ballad, Drollery

Subjects:

Darwinism, Descent, Evolution, Animal Behaviour, Human Species, Hypothesis

    Ponders Charles R Darwin's claim that humans are descended from 'an Apish pair'. Compares the habits of the 'pleasant race of monkeys' with those of humans. Claims that monkeys climbed trees, 'slept in a wood' and 'dined on nuts', and that they had no need for such human artefacts as combs, boots, and eating utensils. Points out that 'our manners' have been 'mended' since we were apes, although we still 'grin and back-bite', 'cut up each other', and wear 'tails' at night. Concludes by asserting that Darwin's theory of descent is 'all speculation'.