Politics, Homeopathy, Temperance, Medical Practitioners,
Pharmaceuticals
Hood laments the impossibility of making topical political comment whilst
living abroad: 'I might have been insisting on a fairer mode of
Registration—when the whole system had been
RumfordThompson, Sir Benjamin,
Count von Rumford
(1753–1814)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>ized and the Books
ordered to be kept on the principle of
Cobbett's RegisterCobbett's Annual Register
(1802–03)
Cobbett's Weekly Political Register (or Cobbett's
Political Register)
(1804–36)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >>'
(vii). 'The
[Thomas Hood], 'Ode to
Doctor
Hahnemann, the Homœopathist', Comic Annual, 8 (1837), 89–96 is recommended, with
infinitesimal respect, to the consideration of those Members of the Faculty
who, adopting the doctrine of minute doses, prescribe for their patients on
Temperance Principles, and have their Dispensary in Pump Court'. Declares that
'the incidents of the
, [Thomas Hood], 'The Fatal Bath', Comic Annual, 8 (1837), 1–21 stand [...] on the solid legs of fact'.
(x)
Medical Practitioners, Expertise, Astronomy, Meteorology, Physics,
Medical Treatment
Medical men seldom agree about their theories: 'the differences of doctors
have, indeed, passed into a proverb' (1). However, almost all agree in advising
bathing with an empty stomach: 'The famous Doctor Krankengraber [i.e.
'sick-bury'], in his most famous book, called "Immersion deeply Considered",
forbids, under all kinds of corporeal pains and penalties, the use of the cold
bath, after the mid-day meal' (2). The narrator, however, sets himself up
against this high authority and offers the opposite advice. He gives an account
of his encounter with 'Christiana F——', his one waltz with whom
left his head forever spinning like 'the harmonious everlasting revolutions of
the planets' (3). It was like the 'mysterious influence' of the whirlwind in
Coblentz in May 1835, which left all those present waltzing. Seeing her dance
with another man, the narrator observes: 'Possibly I should have ended, like
certain rotary fireworks, with an explosion,—at all events I should have
flown off to my quarters, when a few gracious words [...] converted the
centrifugal into a centripetal impulse' (7). Having been invited to dine, he
recalls, 'how I spun!—or else I had become conscious of the earth's
revolution!' (8). Taking a swim on the way to the dinner engagement, he is
bitten by leeches, and cannot remove them. He wishes that he had been 'affected
with Hydrophobia, ere that fatal bath' (12). The leeches having finally fallen
off, the narrator arrives late at the chateau. During the ball he finds dancing
difficult, and fancies that he feels 'the circulation in every vein and artery,
becoming more and more rapid from such gentle exercise' (16). His love
ultimately dances with, and marries another. Thus it is through the advice of
Dr Krankengraber that he loses his love, for she thought his constant glances
at his legs a sign of vanity. The illustration 'A Finished Drawing' (facing 12)
depicts a pained man running from a house with the name 'CartwrightCartwright, Samuel
(1789–1864)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>' on the
door, clutching a handkerchief to his mouth; the maidservant at the door is
smiling, the man in a top-hat at the window has a scarf wrapped round his
jaw.
The narrator reports having seen many rabid men stirred by raving
demagogues, but none fixed on a specific object, such as liberating 'the beasts
from
Cross'sCross's Menagerie, King's Mews, Charing Cross CloseView the register entry >>'; instead they were all loyal 'to
one design—a battle royal' (25).
The fictional hero of the narrative, Charles De La Motte, fulfils a
long-standing ambition to kill an elk. In a spoof letter to his friend, Willman
Playfair, he muses that, had he failed, he would have been ridiculed: 'You
remember how we roasted poor Hawkins, who, led by an ambition with which I can
sympathise, when
CrossCross, Edward
(1774?–1854)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> was obliged
to order military execution on Chuny [an elephant in the
Exeter Exchange Royal
MenagerieExeter Exchange—Royal Menagerie
CloseView the register entry >>], paid his two guineas for a shot at the elephant, and
missed?'. De La Motte places himself in the company of luminaries who have
figuratively endeavoured to shoot their elk—to bring down 'some object
bigger than ever we brought down before'. (39) He refers his friend to an
excellent article in
Blackwood's Edinburgh
MagazineEdinburgh Monthly Magazine
(1817)
Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine
(1817–1900+)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >> on the 'Shooter's Progress' toward bagging ever
larger game. He recalls an angling friend with no interest in looking at
'Carpenter'sCarpenter, Philip
(d. 1833)
Turner 1989 CloseView the register entry >> Solar Microscope', since he 'did
not care to learn that there are swimming things in water too small to rise at
a midge or to take a mite', having set his sights on catching 'the American
Sea-Serpent'. (40) Audubon 'has given a thrilling description of his ecstasy on
knocking down a Golden Eagle with his rifle', but is not content: 'It is well
known that on the completion of his truly splendid
Ornithological
WorkAudubon, John
James 1827–38. The Birds of America, 4 vols, London:
privately published
CloseView the register entry >>, he intends an oriental voyage on the track of Sinbad, half
believing, and three quarters hoping, that the existence of that stupendous
bird, the Roc, is not a fable' (42). De La Motte recalls a friend who, tired of
putting out rabbits, wished to 'ferret the
Thames TunnelThames Tunnel
CloseView the register entry >>
with a crocodile, and bolt Hippopotami!' (43). He refers to
Washington
IrvingIrving, Washington ('Geoffrey Crayon')
(1783–1859)
CBD CloseView the register entry >> 'quietly exulting of killing his buffalo', and reports that
he is now searching for an elk. He imagines them both in the depths of the
American forests ,'hoping in some hitherto untrodden recess to find living
specimens of those surpassing monsters whereof we have as yet seen only the
organic remains'. Neither of them would be above shooting a mammoth or a
megatherium, were they to find one. De La Motte has been taken by a kind friend
to Lewes, 'to see the
museumBrighton. Gideon A Mantell's museum
CloseView the register entry >> of
Mr. Gideon
MantellMantell, Gideon Algernon
(1790–1852)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>, so rich in fossil relics, including the giant Iguanadon,
discovered in Tilgate forest'. (44) He felt envious of those 'early Nimrods'
who had been able to hunt such beasts; he thought it 'a pity that they did not
preserve their game'. One of those present sympathized with him, namely
Charles
WatertonWaterton, Charles
(1782–1865)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>, who at the sight of the iguanadon exclaimed: 'the
alligator I broke in, and rode upon, was a dwarf to this!' (45) In a
postscript, De La Motte announces his departure with an Indian guide in search
of 'some monstrous beast', perhaps a megatherium (48). The illustration
captioned 'Animal Spirits' (facing 38) depicts a kneeling man in an attitude of
prayer, but with his hair standing on end, looking around him at apparitions of
domestic animals. The illustration captioned 'Animals—after
LandseerLandseer, Sir Edwin Henry
(1802–73)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>'
(facing 41) depicts a man (apparently with a crystal ball for a face) being
pursued by various animals, including a dog, a monkey, and a lion. The
illustration captioned 'A Magnum Bonum' (facing 44) depicts hounds sniffing
around a giant leg bone, protruding from the ground rather like a tree stump,
while a huntsman looks on. The illustration captioned 'Phœnix Domesticus'
(48) depicts a fire out of which tongs, cauldron, bellows and shovel are
protruding so as to appear bird-like.
Depracating the 'notorious rudeness of what is called Civil war',
Hood continues: 'Intestinal strife, as at present waged, is a frightful
anomaly. It runs counter to every association—moral or anatomical'
(57).
Entomology, Societies, Horticulture, Natural History
Hood introduces this spoof correspondence claiming that 'Hitchin Hall will
probably remind the reader of an Insect Hospital, at Surat, described by
Lieutenant
BurnesBurnes, Sir Alexander
(1805–41)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>; it was evidently a House, whose members would have voted
unanimously for the admission of a few Destructives' (82). From the
correspondence it transpires that Hitchin Hall was formerly 'in the occupation
of the Hitchin Entomological Society; and the secretary, who was very curious
in keeping and breeding all sorts of insects, resided on the premises' (88).
The new tenants are plagued with insects, and with newts that come to feed on
them; even the garden is alive with insects, and lighting the stoves in the
hothouses hatches out swarms of them. The illustration captioned 'What Are You
Hat!' (81) depicts a well-dressed man trampling flowers as he attempts to swat
a flying insect with his hat, observed by a gardener. The illustration
captioned 'Jessie'sJesse, Edward
(1780–1868)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>Gleanings in Natural History'Jesse, Edward
1832. Gleanings in Natural History, with Local Recollections: To which are
Added Maxims and Hints for an Angler, London: John Murray
CloseView the register entry >>
(facing 84) depicts a woman on a stool looking through the contents of her
sack, which include several bones and what appears to be a dead cat. The
illustration captioned 'It's a Mere Flea-Bite' (facing 87) depicts a man
jumping out of his chair as he is bitten on the cheek by an insect almost half
his height. The illustration captioned 'Hen-Tomology' (88) depicts a hen about
to devour an insect.
Homeopathy, Medical Treatment, Pharmaceuticals, Medical Practitioners,
Charlatanry, Epistemology, Morality, Religion, Status, Magic, Quackery, Natural
History, Taxonomy
The poem addresses Hahnemann as the 'Founder of a new system economic, / To
druggists anything but comic; / Fram'd the whole race of Ollapods to fret, / At
profits, like thy doses, very small / To put all Doctor's Boys in evil case, /
Thrown out of bread, of physic, and of place,— / And show us old
Apothecaries'
HallWorshipful Society of Apothecaries of London—Apothecaries' Hall
CloseView the register entry >> "To Let" (89–90). Hahnemann's principle of treatment is
described, and various ludicrous applications are suggested and questioned.
Hood reflects on his own facetiousness: 'Perchance, from some dull eye the
hopeless tear / Hath gush'd, with my light levity at schism / To mourn some
Martyr of Empiricism!'. He dares to prescribe a rule for Hahnemann, and all his
tribe, suggesting that 'Man's Health' is 'not for minds profane, / or hands, to
tamper with in practice vain'. It is a 'heavenly gift [...] To be approach'd
and touch'd with serious fear, / By hands made pure, and hearts of faith
severe, / Ev'n as the Priesthood of the ONE divine'. (94) However, 'each fellow
with a suit of black, / And, strange to fame, / with a diploma'd name, / That
carries two more letters pick-a-back, / With cane, and snuffbox, powder'd wig,
and block, / Invents his dose, as if it were a chrism, / And dares to
treat our wondrous mechanism, / Familiar as the works of old Dutch clock'. Hood
suggests that Hahnemann drown his book 'Like Prospero's beneath the briny sea,
/ For spells of magic have all gone to sleep!'. He should leave no 'decillionth
fragment' of his works 'To help the interests of quacking
BurkesBurke, William
(1792–1829)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>'. (95) The
illustration 'The Quinary System' (89) depicts five men playing ball,
apparently in a prison yard. The illustration 'The Best Cure for a Cold'
(facing 90) depicts a seaman sitting on a chair with both his wooden legs in a
tub of hot water. The illustration 'Bell
on the HandBell, Charles
1833. The Hand: Its Mechanism and Vital Endowments as Evincing Design,
London: Richard Phillips
CloseView the register entry >>' (96) depicts a hand with a bell resting upon it.
The narrator reflects: 'Blessed be the man, says Sancho Panza, who first
invented sleep: and blessed be heaven that he did not take out a patent, and
keep his discovery to himself' (98). The illustration captioned 'You've Waked
me too Soon, / I Must Slumber Again' (102) depicts a figure in night-cap and
night-gown sitting up, stretching, and yawning in a coffin which has just been
disinterred by a resurrectionist from a grave marked 'WattsWatts, Isaac
(1674–1748)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>'.
[3] The Fresh Horse
Subjects:
Archaeology, Engineers
The narrator observes: 'Stone Henge has always been a mystery to
Antiquarians, and a puzzle to mechanics and engineers to conceive how such huge
masses of stone were transported, and erected, in their celebrated locality'
(111).
Narcotics, Death, Dissection, Crime, Medical Practitioners, Narcotics,
Political Economy
Publications cited:
Burton 1621[Burton,
Robert] 1621. The Anatomy of Melancholy: What it is. With all the
Kindes, Causes, Symptomes, Prognostickes, and Severall Cures of it. In Three
Maine Partitions with their Severall Sections, Members, and Subsections.
Philosophically, Medicinally, Historically, Opened and Cut up. By Democritus
Junior. With a Satyricall Preface, Conducing to the Following Discourse,
Oxford: H. Cripps
CloseView the register entry >>
Unlucky in love and fortune, Peter Bunce feigns toothache, and 'From twenty
divers druggists' shops / He begg'd enough of laudanum by drops / T' effect the
fatal purpose that he had'. He is buried a pauper, thus presenting a good
opportunity for body-snatchers: 'Down came a fellow with a sack and spade, /
Accustom'd many years to drive a trade / With that Anatomy more Melancholy /
Than
BurtonBurton, Robert
(1577–1640)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>'s!'. (123) On opening the
coffin, the body-snatcher (Mike Mahoney) finds that the laudanum has only put
Bunce into a trance, from which he wakes. Bunce discusses Mahoney's trade with
him, and is astonished to learn that a body is worth ten pounds. He promptly
kills Mahoney, and sells his body to Dr Oddy. He then kills Dr Oddy, and sells
his body to Dr Case, before killing Dr Case and selling his body to another
doctor, whom he then dispatches. 'Bunce plotted—such high flights
ambition takes,—/ to treat the Faculty like ducks and drakes, / And sell
them all ere they could utter "Quack!"' (129). Thus trading on into the
morning, Bunce looks to sell his last corpse. However, he is directed to a
doctor at law ('a doctor's reckon'd / A rare Top-Sawyer, let who will come
second'), who on being offered a corpse, declares 'Death! Devil! d—n! /
Confound the vagabond, he thinks I am / A rhubarb-and-magnesia Doctor!' (130).
Bunce flees and lives 'securely till fourscore / From never troubling Doctors
any more!' (131). The illustration captioned 'A Pauper in High Relief' (facing
128) depicts a statue of a very portly man with a placard around his neck and
with his hat in a begging pose; the plinth reads 'Old Poor Law'. The
illustration captioned 'Appropriation Clause' (131) depicts a man dropping his
cutlery in fright as two cats leap up at the table, carrying off his dinner (a
turtle) in their claws.
Education, Agriculture, Politics, Political Economy
A group of 'bumpkins' are discussing the question 'What's Agricultural
Distress?' (140). Colin observes of the others: 'You never cares to look, /
Like me, in any larned book' (146). He proceeds to explain that 'agriculture'
only means 'farming', and that 'Distress is want, and pain, and grief, / And
sickness,—things as want relief; / Thirst, hunger, age, and cold severe;
/ In short, ax any overseer' (147). Since there is no such distress in the
growing of crops and the raising of stock, he concludes that 'agricultural
distress' must mean 'the Farming of the Poor', to which all agree (148).
The illustration captioned 'Political Economy' (facing 147) depicts a group of
four men crowding around a shop window to read a newspaper. The illustration
captioned 'Who Says There is Not a Surplus?' (148) depicts an Anglican cleric
being dressed in a surplice.
Astronomy, Medical Practitioners, Obstetrics, Race
The illustration captioned 'Total Eclipse of the Son' (facing 162) depicts
an aghast midwife presenting a black baby to an equally aghast white
father.
John Jones was a builder's clerk 'Before his head was engine-turn'd / To be
an engineer!'. He discovered that 'iron roads / were quite the public tale',
but his schemes all ended ill because he tried to make 'short cuts, / when cut
[i.e. drunk] with something short [i.e. spirits]'. (165) The railway he plans
careers from right to left, and no-one will take it up. It is ridiculed in the
public press, but Jones persists in his plan until he ends in debt. Finally he
hangs himself, leaving a message on the wall: 'I've got my line at last!'
(168). The illustration 'Parliament Rejects my Line' (facing 167) depicts a
drunken man clutching a bill marked 'Railroad'; a line marks his careering path
from the door of a public house, and the signpost next to him points toward
'Rye'.
The ode lauds the aeronauts [who have flown from
Vauxhall
GardensRoyal Gardens, Vauxhall CloseView the register entry >> in London over the English Channel to German territory]
using superlative but jocular imagery, referring to them as 'Volatile spirits!
Light mercurial humours!'. The poet requests: 'O give us soon your sky
adventures truly, / With full particulars, correcting duly / All flying
rumours!', and speculates drolly on the adventures of the aeronauts. (170) He
enquires whether any were air-sick: 'P'rhaps Monck Mason / Was forc'd to have
an air-pump in a bason?'. He speculates about their amusements in the balloon:
'did you listen, the first mortal ears / That ever drank the music of the
spheres?'. (172) Perhaps they kept watch all night 'Marking the planets bright,
/ Like three more
AirysAiry, Sir George Biddell
(1801–92)
DSB
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>, studying
astronomy' (174). The poet considers that it was well-planned that they came
down in German territory: 'For, if I read the prophesy aright, / You'll have
the Eagle-Order for your flight, / And all be Von'd, because of your
descent! (175).