Shows a waiter standing near a 'Matter-of-fact old gentleman' sitting
in a '"cheap" chop-house'. The gentleman's answer to the waiter's
question 'Whataveyeradsir?' consists of a list of all the gruesome ingredients
with which his meal was adulterated.
Explains that the reason why the statesman
Lord Robert
GrosvenorGrosvenor, Lord Robert, 1st Baron Ebury
(1801–93)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> is a 'Homeopathist and Sabbatarian' is because 'he
patronises infinitesimal globules' whose inertness allows him to use them on a
Sunday.
Military Technology, Invention, Patronage, Charlatanry,
Photography
Discusses government scepticism towards the secret military invention of
Thomas Cochrane (10th
Earl of Dundonald)Cochrane, Thomas, 10th Earl of Dundonald
(1775–1860)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>, who suggested using poisonous gases against the
enemy. Argues that while the invention 'may be a mistake', it may be a 'fact',
but that it is an invention that governments would 'continue to resist [...] as
long as they had a shadow of an excuse for their opposition'. Accuses 'Unjust
people' of disbelieving 'everything in advance of their own ideas' and wants to
know more about Dundonald's plan before uniting 'with these gentlemen of
"common sense", in sneering at an invention which is capable of destroying
Cronstadt'.
Discusses an advertisement in
The TimesThe Times
(1777–1900+)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >>
reporting the transmission of a box by the telegraph. Upholds the 'quick
transmission of packages' to be a 'desiderata of the age' but, having been
puzzled by the meaning of the advertisement, notes that the transmission of a
box by telegraph 'is surely quite enough to startle the scientific world'.
Punch, 29 (1855), 19.
Jack and Lady Nancy: A Vulgar Song by a Common Seaman
Military Technology, Government, Patronage, War, Invention
Addressed to
Thomas Cochrane (10th
Earl of Dundonald)Cochrane, Thomas, 10th Earl of Dundonald
(1775–1860)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>, this letter discusses his argument that the
'facts' of his 'plan' (to use poisonous gas against the enemy), despite
government scepticism, 'admit of no doubt', and his refusal to divulge such
facts until the government rejects the most speedy method of ending the Crimean
war. Questions Dundonald's objections to divulging his plan to the government
(which might result in the government yielding to public support for the
invention) and asks whether he would explain it 'to a commission of scientific
men'.
Attacks a parliamentary bill brought in by 'Messrs.
HeadlamHeadlam, Thomas Emerson
(1813–75)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>,
BradyBrady, John
(1812–87)
Stenton 1976WBI CloseView the register entry >>, and
CraufurdCraufurd, Edward Henry John
(1816–1887)
WBI CloseView the register entry >>' that will levy a tax of
£10 on all those in 'lawful' medical practice. Notes that failure to
submit to this 'spoilation' will result in disqualification. Sarcastically
notes how the poor law union medical officer, a professional who gains a
pittance for seeing 'thousands' of patients, 'will bless
HEADLAM and his confederates', and points out that taxing
'pauper' medical practitioners will be like trying to subtract 'one from
nought'. Explains that the tax has been designed to raise money for 'greasing'
a 'Medical Council' organized by the
Royal College of PhysiciansRoyal College of Physicians
CloseView the register entry >> and
the
Royal
College of SurgeonsRoyal College of Surgeons
CloseView the register entry >>. Challenges the new council's proposal to
include 'classics' in student examinations by pointing out that
John HunterHunter, John
(1728–93)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> was
'unclassical', and ridicules proposals to set a 'statutable age' for physicians
and to distinguish between 'the science of "Surgery" and that of "Medicine"'.
Urges Headlam to spend his energies on suppressing patent medicines rather than
'harassing and plaguing medical men with fines'.
Claims that the 'sudden acquisition of a large fortune' provides such a cure
since it 'will bring a person [...] prominently forward' who had 'previously
been for years quite invisible to the naked eye'.
Homeopathy, Religion, Religious Authority, Amusement
Identifying the Sabbatarian statesman
Lord Robert
GrosvenorGrosvenor, Lord Robert, 1st Baron Ebury
(1801–93)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> as a homeopath, explains how he would dish out
'infinitesimal' amounts of pleasurable activities and large amounts of
'abstinence and privation' and 'religious scruples'.
Pollution, Analytical Chemistry, Public Health, Sanitation, Disease,
Accidents
Announces the publication of
Michael
Faraday'sFaraday, Michael
(1791–1867)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> 'CHEMICAL work of small size and great
importance'—a reference to
Faraday 1855Faraday,
Michael 1855. 'The State of the Thames', The Times, 9 July
1855, p. 8
CloseView the register entry >>. Explains that
the work reveals Faraday's 'views of the composition' of the Thames and the
philosopher's experiments for gauging its quality. Rejoices in the fact that
Faraday has thereby 'enabled the public to form a correct idea' of the river's
constituents, not least because his work may save more lives from river
pestilence than
Humphry Davy'sDavy, Sir Humphry, Baronet
(1778–1829)
DSB
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>
safety-lamp reduced fatalities in mines.
Pollution, Analytical Chemistry, Scientific Practitioners, Public
Health, Sanitation, Disease
Subtitled 'And we hope the Dirty Fellow will consult the learned Professor',
shows
Michael
FaradayFaraday, Michael
(1791–1867)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> leaning over the side of boat on the Thames. With one hand
he hold his nose and with the other, he extends a white card (Faraday's device
for gauging water pollution) to a filthy looking old man ('Father Thames') who
is surrounded by gruesome objects floating on the surface of the water.
Responds to a proposal to propel bags of letters from the
General Post
OfficeGeneral Post Office
CloseView the register entry >> through underground tubes by atmospheric pressure (a system
promoted by
George B AiryAiry, Sir George Biddell
(1801–92)
DSB
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>).
Suggests that these tubes would lie next to the pipes conveying the gas 'by
whose light we're enabled to read 'em'. Considers that
Virgil'sVirgil (Publius Vergilius Maro)
(70–19 BC)
CBD CloseView the register entry >> 'Jactata per
æquora ventis' anticipated the new propulsion system. Invites two of the
four winds, Notus and Eurus, to 'lend a favouring gale' on 'Foreign Post
nights' and to 'provide a Monsoon for each Overland Mail'. Exploits
similarities between the terms for representing the new system and the terms
for describing social customs. For example, observes that while the 'Wintry
Wind' may now be 'an ill-wind to blow nobody good', 'the Zephyrs and
ROWLANDHill, Sir Rowland
(1795–1879)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>' will make 'blowing' a
letter between lovers 'as easy as blowing a kiss'. Concludes by noting that 'It
is just the invention to prosper by puffing'.
Ornithology, Animal Behaviour, Natural History, Religious Authority,
Religion, Monstrosities
Introduces 'evidence given by the London magistracy before the Sunday Beer
Act Committee'. The witnesses include 'Bow Street' who denies the
'Chairman's' claim that swallows are travellers', but agrees that bees are
travellers and should be stopped from singing on Sundays. Later, 'Worship
Street' argues in favour of the sea serpent being regarded as a
traveller.
The writer informs Mr Punch that she 'is a young female, being a science of
recent origin' but explains that she is 'a case of beauty in distress' because
she is being employed by the Russian Government—'an odious and brutal
tyrant and his thralls'—against the allies ('the champions of liberty, to
whose assistance I would devote myself'). Lists the various chemical compounds
which she believes will be used to arm 'savages with thunderbolts', and attacks
'that horrid man'
Mortiz H von
JacobiJacobi, Moritz Hermann von
(1801–74)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> for using her and her 'sister, MECHANICS'
against the Baltic fleet. Pleads with the British Government to let
Michael
FaradayFaraday, Michael
(1791–1867)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> exploit her 'tremendous powers of destruction' against the
common enemy'.
Analyses some of the alarming evidence of adulteration taken before a
House of
CommonsHouse of Commons
CloseView the register entry >> committee. This includes dilute prussic acid, bread filled
with 'animal matter', flour mixed with chalk, and sausages adulterated with
horses tongues. The author considers this a good argument for becoming a
vegetarian.
Shows a young girl standing in front of a counter in an apothecary's shop.
Behind the counter stands the proprietor with sacks of substances to adulterate
food (e.g. red lead and sand). On behalf of her mother, the girl asks the
proprietor for some tea for killing rats and chocolate for eradicating black
beadles.
Reports on an 'aquatic enthusiast' who has grown so tired with his existence
at 'a hydropathic establishment' that he 'renounces the Path-os and the Bath-os
that are usually laid on'.
Describes 'a youth who was sick night and day' owing to his 'pestilent
quarters' on the riverside. On asking for the 'vile river' to be cleansed, the
authorities could only answer 'Ur-ah-oh-ugh!'. The youth later complains of his
illness and, preferring to drown than die of typhus, contemplates throwing
himself in the river. However, he chooses to move 'apartments instead'.
Mrs Grundy expresses bewilderment at 'The roguery that's in the world, the
frauds in every trade and business' and lists the foul ways in which her foods
and beverages have been adulterated.
Commerce, Invention, Patents, Quackery, Medical Treatment,
Charlatanry
Introduces a list of nineteen dubious ways of 'earning an income, all for
the price of three-pence'. These include raising money for patenting an
'impossible invention', and selling a 'pill, paste, or liquor' that purports to
'cure everything'.
Laments the quantity of carbonic acid gas and steam given off by visitors to
the
British
MuseumBritish Museum
CloseView the register entry >>, an atmospheric problem that threatens to destroy their
enjoyment of the specimens of natural history and palaeontology.
Reports that several 'confirmed Teetotallers' have started drinking wine
after glimpsing the 'horrors of water' at the
Royal Polytechnic InstitutionRoyal Polytechnic Institution
CloseView the register entry >>
exhibition. Concludes that 'the cause of Temperance runs the danger of being
drowned in a ditch' owing to the scarcity of drinkable water. Adds that Father
Thames himself will grow so disgusted with the 'abominable filth in which he is
condemned to wallow' that he too will 'take to drinking'.
Discusses the characteristics of the 'Sea Devil', a 'very odd fish' boasting
a mouth so large that it can 'swallow anything or everything' submitted to its
notice and 'a man with ease'.
Describes the political activities of
Lord John
RussellRussell, Lord John, 1st Earl Russell
(1792–1878)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>,
Benjamin
DisraeliDisraeli, Benjamin, 1st Earl of Beaconsfield
(1804–81)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>, and
John A RoebuckRoebuck, John Arthur
(1802–79)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>
as if they were experts analysing the adulteration of 'political drugs'.
Explains that Russell found that most political articles were 'as free from
deleterious matter as they could be', although he found the specimen marked
'Reform Bill' extremely difficult to analyse. Russell recommends 'a little
adulteration' with 'Whig's Paradise', which 'went down wonderfully with the
multitude'. Believing in the purity of Whig principles, Russell opposes the
election agent,
James CoppockCoppock, James
(1798–1857)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>,
'whose wonderful laboratory at the Reform Club for the manufacture of votes'
had shown the existence of 'tin' patronage. Goes on to explain Disraeli's
expertise in the 'manufacture of retorts' and his conviction 'that Whig
Government was a regular drug' that was so pernicious that it needed 'a strong
infusion of Tory politics'. Disraeli's 'careful analyses' also reveal a 'Drab'
constituent in the 'Peace Party' called 'GLADSTONEGladstone, William Ewart
(1809–98)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>' which itself
contains large quantities of 'Jesuit's Bark' but not 'a single grain of sense',
and which creates feelings of nausea. Proceeds to discuss Roebuck, whose
analysis of 'Parliamentary Loaves and Fishes' from both parties, reveals them
to be poisonous to the 'Body Politic', and who urges the need for the 'plainest
political food'.
Praises the 'NIGHTINGALENightingale, Florence
(1820–1910)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> testimonial'
reported in
The
TimesThe Times
(1777–1900+)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >>—a reference to
Herbert 1855Herbert,
Elisabeth 1855. 'Miss Nightingale', The Times, 23 August
1855, p. 7
CloseView the register entry >> and
H 1855H 1855. 'Miss Nightingale', The Times, 23
August 1855, p. 7
CloseView the register entry >>. Contrasts the fact that it will
be 'served by unpaid nurses' to the greed of railway company rogues and
clerics. Believes that the foundation of the hospital will reward 'virtue'.
Strongly supports the need for a military hospital, but fears that the only
hospital that will gain support from the government will be a homeopathic one.
Reports that the hospital will be served by one medical officer instead of a
physician, surgeon, and apothecary, and continuing the homeopathic theme,
sarcastically suggests that this officer should be a 'Patent Medicine Vendor',
supplying patients with a wide variety of pills and ointments. Concludes with a
cynical dig at the government's patronage of quack medicines.
Military Technology, Invention, War, Commerce, Government
Noting the formation of this company under the new 'principle of Limited
Liability', upholds the success with which 'intelligent capitalists would
pursue the arts of war'. Claims that the object of the company is to 'to test
the merits of inventions calculated to bring the [Crimean] War to a conclusion
by the / DESTRUCTION OF HER MAJESTY'S ENEMIES' and that it
will do so irrespective of the government's attitude. Stresses that one of the
'immediate proceedings' of the company will be to investigate the secretive
plan of
Thomas Cochrane (10th
Earl of Dundonald)Cochrane, Thomas, 10th Earl of Dundonald
(1775–1860)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>.
Steamships, Pollution, Disease, Public Health, Analytical Chemistry,
Government
Complains that, as a steamship captain on the Thames, he lives on 'liquefied
manure' which makes him ill. Laments the garbage, out-pourings from bone-mills,
'gaseous filth from gas-works', and dead cats and dogs, that fill the river,
but expects that
ParliamentHouses of Parliament
CloseView the register entry >> will not 'listen to the
advice from
FARADAYFaraday, Michael
(1791–1867)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>' on cleansing the
river.
Details her complaints about 'the usual torment of the season, / Them nasty
good-for-nothing flies. Rejects 'what you call your Recreations / In Natural
History' and questions the 'use of Latin terms for good-for-nothing moths and
millers'. Describes the domestic places that the 'plaguy things' have chosen as
their homes including the larder, 'behind the grate', and in fruit. The
illustration shows a large female figure about to club a snail with her
parasol.
Adulteration, Pharmaceuticals, Medical Treatment, Narcotics,
Astrology, Quackery, Charlatanry, Crime
List of twenty-six descriptions concerning the wide range of practices
associated with adulteration, quackery, and charlatanry, one for each letter of
the alphabet. The list includes 'D is the Druggist—the
LancetLancet
(1823–1900+)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >> explains /
How he poisons each drug, / and increases your pains', 'N is the Nurse who your
suffering insults— / Who gives GODFREY to babies and
plunders adults', and 'Z's ZADKIEL [Richard J
MorrisonMorrison, Richard James ('Zadkiel')
(1795–1874)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>], the quack who, with "Venus" and "Mars", / Diddles Zanies,
by lying reports from the stars'.
Claims that one of the clauses in the new Health of Towns Act seems to
legitimate suicide: that for a place declared to be 'injurious to health' it is
'unlawful to live in it'. Wonders whether 'all persons whose existence is
declared unlawful' will be executed.
Mr Punch invites his 'brother citizens and Fellow Englishmen to indulge in a
little philosophic and scientific contemplation' of the geese and ducks in
St James's
ParkSt James's Park
CloseView the register entry >>.
Reports that the British ambassador in Paris,
Henry R C
Wellesley (2nd Baron Cowley)Wellesley, Henry Richard Charles, 1st Earl
Cowley and 2nd Baron Cowley
(1804–1884)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>, when invited to dine at a banquet in
honour of 'the English men of science forming part of the English jury' for the
Exposition Universelle de
ParisExposition Universelle (1855), Paris CloseView the register entry >>, allegedly 'caused it to be made known [...] that it was not
his custom to dine with low people'. Ironically adds that science ought to know
its place and compares the telegraph unfavourably to a blue riband.
Meteorology, Instruments, Crime, Comparative Philology, Cultural
Geography
Discusses charges that Greek corn merchants have been tampering with a
barometer in 'one of our large towns'. Having noted that 'the Greeks always
paid great homage to Mercury, because he was the God of thieves', wishes the
merchants had insisted that their tampering was a form of 'religious
worship'.
Discusses reports of the capture of the 'Great American Water-Snake' in a
lake near New York and analyses the snake's characteristics. Relates that the
snake's power of 'heavy, short puffs' gives it the ability to write its own
advertisements from
Barnum's American
MuseumBarnum's American Museum, New York CloseView the register entry >>. Reports that one eminent 'naturalist of the day' has
pronounced the beast to be 'a huge specimen of monstrous sea calf, resulting
from a cock-and-a-bull and a nightmare'.
Presents descriptions of seven deliberately absurd reports from various
English locales including news that some people in Gloucestershire attribute
the decline in lightning strikes on a church steeple to the erection of a
lightning conductor, the prediction of severe winter weather from the flight of
birds over the Salisbury Plain, and the excavation, near Petersham, of a knife
marked 'R. O. G. E. R.' which was attributed to
Roger BaconBacon, Roger
(c. 1219–c. 1292)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>.
Discusses a new railway whistle which promises to replace the 'railway
discord and railway din' of the old steam-whistle with 'railway harmony and
railway melody'. Adds that the whistle is capable of playing tunes appropriate
to given situations.
Zoology, Cultural Geography, Animal Behaviour, Analogy,
Taxonomy
Responding to claims that Prussia is 'like a noble animal of the forest'
waiting to 'spring on the first' who 'irritates her', likens the country to
'something between a mad dog and a donkey at bray' and insists that the best
'zoological representative for Prussia' is the 'beast'.
Informs 'RAILWAY DIRECTORS, FATHERS OF FAMILIES, AND THE PUBLIC IN GENERAL'
of a 'most amusing game of chance' for Christmas time—'Railway Accident'.
Explains that one player of the game starts his train according to a timetable
while the starting time of other players is regulated by 'the cast of dice'.
Adds that the 'great amusement of the game consists in each train endeavouring
either to overtake or come into collision with the trains of other
players'.
Reflects on the staging of baby shows 'in Lunnun', and compares them with
cattle shows. Lamenting the appearance of baby shows 'Among the wild beasties
at Bartlemy Fair', anticipates a similar event being held at
Surrey Zoological GardensSurrey Literary, Scientific and Zoological Institution—Gardens
CloseView the register entry >>.
Considers such displays to be degrading to mothers and babies. The illustration
shows a baby inside a cage with a female lion.
Discusses an extract from
Waring's Practical
TherapeuticsWaring, Edward
John 1854. A Manual of Practical Therapeutics, Considered Chiefly
with Reference to Articles of the Materia Medica, London: Smith, Elder and
Co.
CloseView the register entry >> describing the intoxicating properties of Cocculus
Indicus. Regards the adulteration of porter with the latter is a 'dead
swindle', and, because it can lead to the death of one's customers, which would
be commercially 'suicidal'. Resolves to avoid drinking Cocculus Indicus and to
take legal action against those landlords who do not produce their 'chemical
diplomas' on request.
Responding to alarming news that the population of Singapore is being
rapidly diminshed by tigers, suggests that one solution to the problem is to
'enter into an arrangement with the brute-slayer at the top of the
Haymarket'—a reference to the museum of the celebrated lion hunter,
Roualeyn G G
CummingCumming, Roualeyn George Gordon-
(1820–66)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>. Concludes by regarding such news reports as a 'little
romance'.
Describes the ways in which 'The celebrated Lion-hunter of Belgravia,
MRS. NIMROD' lured and hunted literary lions
'all over the Metropolis', exhibiting those she caught at gatherings of 'three
or four hundred fashionable people'. Reports that she intends to open a museum
of the 'trophies and curiosities' she has collected during her hunting career,
in competition with
Roualeyn G G
Cumming'sCumming, Roualeyn George Gordon-
(1820–66)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> museum in the Haymarket. Lists items from the catalogue of
the museum, which include 'The iron ring that fell from the nose of one of the
Ojibbeway chiefs'.
Discusses a passage from
Henry
Fielding'sFielding, Henry
(1707–54)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>Joseph AndrewsFielding,
Henry 1742. The History of the Adventures of Joseph Andrews, and
of Mr. Abraham Adams: Written in Imitation of the Manner of Cervantes, Author
of Don Quixote, London: A. Millar
CloseView the register entry >>, in
which the novelist insists that nature 'takes a provident care' of people
inasmuch as it gives 'thick skulls' to those meant for violent 'encounters' and
skulls with cavities for those '"designed to exercise" rational talents'.
Thinks this passage describes the heads of the army that served in the
Crimea.
Unsurpised that the city of Naples has blocked a proposal to erect of statue
of
Macedonio
MelloniMelloni, Macedonio
(1798–1854)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> because 'The Lion preys not on the dead: it is only the
Hyæna that outrages the grave'.
Responding to an announcement of the sale of 'Royal Beasts' in
Windsor Great
ParkWindsor Great Park
CloseView the register entry >>, expresses concern that the announcement will give the
impression of live lions roaming Windsor Park, or the sale of the corpses of
dead monarchs.
Adulteration, Medical Practitioners, Charlatanry, Commerce
Addressed to the 'Editor of Punch', argues that bakers have been
unduly attacked for 'putting a little alum in their bread'. Explaining how alum
attacks the lime of teeth and thus creates employment for himself and 'other
members of my profession'. He expresses his thanks to confectioners whose
tendency to leave small stones in plum buns results in cracked teeth and
therefore more business.
Specimen Trading, Commerce, Human Development, Zoological Gardens,
Gender
Notes that at the sale of beasts at the
Surrey Zoological GardensSurrey Literary, Scientific and Zoological Institution—Gardens
CloseView the register entry >>, husbands
of the women who displayed their babies at the baby show, tried unsuccessfully
to sell off their partners in the auction catalogue.
Discusses the appeal of the clock at
Somerset
HouseSomerset House
CloseView the register entry >> 'against the injustice' of being made to chime a time
different from that indicated by its hands.
Startled to learn of the sale of animals at the
Surrey Zoological GardensSurrey Literary, Scientific and Zoological Institution—Gardens
CloseView the register entry >>, a move
reflecting the 'superior attraction' of the garden's musical concerts.
Discusses possible problems with auctioning animals and resolves to 'keep an
eye on the sale', but to 'remain at a respectful distance from the various
lots' which may react violently to those in the auction room.
Industry, Scientific Practitioners, Patronage, Government, Cultural
Geography, Nationalism, Heroism
Reports that following the French government's decoration of British
scientists at the
Exposition Universelle de
ParisExposition Universelle (1855), Paris CloseView the register entry >> (including the rank of 'Commander' for
Michael
FaradayFaraday, Michael
(1791–1867)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>), the British government is considering conferring on
Faraday the Order of the Bath to give the impression that it does 'encourage
Science'.
Entomology, Ancient Authorities, Religion, Wonder, Government,
Politics, Animal Behaviour
Introduces a spoof lecture on entomology given by Lord Fitz-Mountebank to
the Young Men's Mutual Instruction Society. The lecture opens by defining
entomology as 'talk about insects' and proceeds to discuss the contributions of
AristotleAristotle
(384–322 BC)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>,
PlinyPliny (Gaius Plinius Secundus)
(c. 23–79)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>, and the ancient Egyptians
to the subject. Notes how the Egyptians worshipped beetles and upholds the
beauties of the spider's web (which he likens to 'the arts of diplomacy') and
the ant's nest. Draws out social and political lessons from the behaviour of
various insects, including the claim that the snail and the slug were
reminiscent of 'parliamentary proceedings'. Concludes by insisting that 'No
station [...] could exempt any man from the attacks of insects' and by hoping
that the each of the Russians involved in the Crimean War would find himself
with 'a flea in his ear'.
Criticises 'the Vegetarians' for toasting
Queen VictoriaVictoria, Queen of the United Kingdom of Great
Britain and Ireland, and Empress of India
(1819–1901)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>
with iced water at a meeting in Birmingham. Ridicules the claims that some
gentleman attending the meeting had spent a considerable number of years
'advocating Vegetarian principles', and expresses 'surprise and admiration' for
an alderman (whose greed is a favourite subject of Punch satire) who
claimed to have lived on vegetables for forty years. Declares that it does not
'grudge' the vegetarians 'their abstinence from animal food', but suggests that
they popularise their movement with lectures and vocal entertainments.
Responds to the decision by
Emperor Franz
Joseph IFranz Joseph I, Emperor of Austria, King of Hungary
(1830–1916)
CBD CloseView the register entry >> of Austria to allow Roman Catholic bishops to 'superintend
the education of the youth in all public and private schools' and to have 'the
power to forbid any teaching in any study which they may consider contrary to
the Papal Church'. Wonders where the 'pernicious teaching' of
Galileo
GalileiGalilei, Galileo
(1564–1642)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> and
Isaac NewtonNewton, Sir Isaac
(1642–1727)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> would
be 'if that authority had universally and always been enjoyed by the Roman
prelates which was formerly conceded to them' by the emperor. (218)
Draws unfavourable comparisons between French and English attitudes towards
railway management and invention. Compares the foreign railways, which are
'Check'd and cow'd by Government's power', with the British lines, which are
the subject of 'unrestrain'd competition' and which 'Too often result in a
smash' for 'travellers' and shareholders' ventures'. Adds that
'JOHN BULL's every town is a centre / Of
inventions most useful to man', but laments the fate of
'JOHN's greatest inventor, / Unless he can patent his plan!'.
Contrasts the fact that awards such as titles and ribands are for 'rank, or for
wealth, or for war', but that 'great ones of science are martyrs / Who have
still worn the cross , not the star', and that 'art and science are zeroes' in
John Bull's court.
Medical Practitioners, Heroism, War, Disease, Gender, Hospitals,
Medical Treatment
Institutions mentioned:
Army
Noting the public's over-zealous taste for worshipping heroes, advises
against scorning 'a truly glorious name' simply because 'so many wreaths before
unworthiest shrines are hung'. Insists that although people 'Oft find false
gods', 'Deep and true England's heart has glow'd in this great woman's
[Florence
NightingaleNightingale, Florence
(1820–1910)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>]' holy cause. Champions her cause, which is described as
stepping 'calm and humble to the front' despite disease, despair, carnage, and
an English army taking 'its path, slowly, to an inglorious grave'. Comparing
her to a Christian martyr, the author notes how she 'face to face with pain and
death, bore bravely a worse battle's brunt / Than any soldier of all there'.
Regards her 'little lamp' as 'hope's beacon light' and praises the
'young—gentle—ladies of the land' who assisted her and who fell
'like balm on passion wrung from festering wound', and who calmed the 'fierce
thought in the brain'. Concludes by noting the 'Order out of Chaos' and the
'Hope [...] kindled from Despair' wrought by Nightingale and 'her sisters', and
likens this transformation to 'Some holy influence bringing guards of Heaven,
where, till they came, was Hell'. Doubts that the public can 'raise' a 'trophy'
to meet the 'need' of this act.
Reflects on the changes that have occurred since the American War of
Independence, including the fact that when 'that first war broke out [...] No
wires girt the earth, no steam the ocean spann'd'.
Telegraphy, Charlatanry, Race, Religion, Error, Commerce,
War
Addressed to the Lord Mayor of London,
David SalomonsSalomons, Sir David, 1st Baronet
(1797–73)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>,
discusses a telegraphic communication from Berlin regarding a loan to the
Russians organized by the leading banking house,
Mendelssohn &
Co.Mendelssohn & Co, Berlin, bankers CloseView the register entry >> Reflecting that, like Salomons, the Mendelssohns are Jewish,
observes that they would be a disgrace to the Jewish community should the
report prove accurate. Notes that the 'Electric-Telegraph sometimes tells
fibs', but asserts that, if the communication is true, 'the indignation and the
power' of Salomons should be raised against the firm.
Discusses a story of a saint who 'trained a favourite fly with so much
success' that the insect could work as an efficient book marker, and suggests
'Literary Police Regulations' for flies moving across a page.
Reports on the latest events in the sad history of Punch's spoof
'Kensington Railway'. Notes that the railway came into collision with 'a goods
train on the
Great
WesternGreat Western Railway Company
CloseView the register entry >>' and blames this on the fact that the railway has been idle
for too long and 'playing tricks with one of its engines'. Laments the lack of
business between the railway's termini at Wormwood Scrubs and Warwick Square
and the fact that the railway officials do not even have market gardening to
occupy them. Proposes to alleviate the situation by carrying 'the unhappy
Railway by a bridge across the Great Western' and thus to 'extend the concern
so as to make it available, as it might be, for very valuable traffic'.
Draws comparisons between horses and railways. Regards both as 'Temples of
Dishonesty' and insists that 'as railways have superseded horses' so 'the
roguery of the one should in time supplant the roguery' of the other. Adds that
'as a steam-engine goes much faster than a racer, it was only to be expected
that railways, in the race of dishonesty, would certainly run considerably
a-head of horses'.