Science in the 19th Century Periodical

Punch, Or the London Charivari [1st]

Introductory Essay
Volume 46  (January to June 1864)
Punch,  46 (1864), [i].

Punch's Almanack

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Anon

Genre:

Notes

Subjects:

Scientific Practitioners

People mentioned:

Joseph Priestley, Priestley, Joseph (1733–1804) DSB
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Christopher Wren, Wren, Sir Christopher (1632–1723) DSB
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John Abernethy, Abernethy, John (1764–1831) ODNB
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William Harvey, Harvey, William (1578–1657) DSB
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Matthew Boulton, Boulton, Matthew (1728–1809) ODNB
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James Watt, Watt, James (1736–1819) DSB
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Auguste Comte, Comte, Isidore Auguste Marie François Xavier (Auguste) (1798–1857) DSB
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Gottfried W Leibniz Leibniz, Gottfried Wilhelm (1646–1716) DSB
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Punch,  46 (1864), [ii].

Our Growling Bard  [1/12]Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. II.', Punch, 46 (1864), [ii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. III.', Punch, 46 (1864), [iii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. IV.', Punch, 46 (1864), [iv]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. VI.', Punch, 46 (1864), [vi]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. IX.', Punch, 46 (1864), [ix]

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Anon

Genre:

Serial, Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Light, Reading


Punch,  46 (1864), [ii].

Our Growling Bard. II.  [2/12]Anon, 'Our Growling Bard', Punch, 46 (1864), [ii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. III.', Punch, 46 (1864), [iii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. IV.', Punch, 46 (1864), [iv]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. VI.', Punch, 46 (1864), [vi]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. IX.', Punch, 46 (1864), [ix]

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Anon

Genre:

Serial, Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Electricity, Telegraphy


Punch,  46 (1864), [ii].

The First Law of Nature

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Natural Law, Amusement


Punch,  46 (1864), [iii].

Our Growling Bard. III.  [3/12]Anon, 'Our Growling Bard', Punch, 46 (1864), [ii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. II.', Punch, 46 (1864), [ii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. IV.', Punch, 46 (1864), [iv]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. VI.', Punch, 46 (1864), [vi]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. IX.', Punch, 46 (1864), [ix]

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Anon

Genre:

Serial, Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Photography, Light, Technology


Punch,  46 (1864), [iii].

A Favourite Dish

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Hunting, Nutrition

People mentioned:

Roualeyn G G Cumming Cumming, Roualeyn George Gordon- (1820–66) ODNB
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Punch,  46 (1864), [iv].

Medical Mythology

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Anaesthesia, Medical Treatment, Comparative Philology


Punch,  46 (1864), [iv].

Our Growling Bard. IV.  [4/12]Anon, 'Our Growling Bard', Punch, 46 (1864), [ii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. II.', Punch, 46 (1864), [ii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. III.', Punch, 46 (1864), [iii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. VI.', Punch, 46 (1864), [vi]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. IX.', Punch, 46 (1864), [ix]

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Anon

Genre:

Serial, Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Gender, Domestic Economy, Narcotics


Punch,  46 (1864), [iv].

Ethnological

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Ethnology, Language


Punch,  46 (1864), [iv].

Horological Thought

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Time, Instruments, Gender


Punch,  46 (1864), [v].

The Iron Racehorse

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Technology, Amusement


Punch,  46 (1864), [v].

Electrical Science

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Electricity, Physiology, Animal Behaviour


Punch,  46 (1864), [vi].

An Infallible Specific

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Quackery, Medical Treatment, Agriculture


Punch,  46 (1864), [vi].

Our Growling Bard. VI.  [6/12]Anon, 'Our Growling Bard', Punch, 46 (1864), [ii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. II.', Punch, 46 (1864), [ii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. III.', Punch, 46 (1864), [iii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. IV.', Punch, 46 (1864), [iv]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. IX.', Punch, 46 (1864), [ix]

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Anon

Genre:

Serial, Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Military Technology, War


Punch,  46 (1864), [vi].

Spiritualism

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Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Spiritualism

People mentioned:

Daniel D Home Home, Daniel Dunglas (1833–86) ODNB
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Punch,  46 (1864), [ix].

Note for the Month

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Supernaturalism, Exhibitions, Technology

People mentioned:

John H Pepper Pepper, John Henry (1821–1900) ODNB
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Institutions mentioned:

Royal Polytechnic Institution Royal Polytechnic Institution
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Punch,  46 (1864), [ix].

Our Growling Bard. IX.  [9/12]Anon, 'Our Growling Bard', Punch, 46 (1864), [ii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. II.', Punch, 46 (1864), [ii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. III.', Punch, 46 (1864), [iii]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. IV.', Punch, 46 (1864), [iv]
Anon, 'Our Growling Bard. VI.', Punch, 46 (1864), [vi]

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Anon

Genre:

Serial, Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Supernaturalism, Exhibitions, Technology, Quackery, Astrology

People mentioned:

John H Pepper, Pepper, John Henry (1821–1900) ODNB
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Henry Dircks, Dircks, Henry (1806–73) ODNB
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Robert C Smith, Smith, Robert Cross ('Raphael') (1795–1832) ODNB
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Richard J Morrison Morrison, Richard James ('Zadkiel') (1795–1874) ODNB
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Punch,  46 (1864), [ix].

Medical Economy

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, Domestic Economy, Human Development


Punch,  46 (1864), [x].

Cure for Baldness

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment


Punch,  46 (1864), [x].

Useful Family Recipe

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Anon

Genre:

Recipe, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment


Punch,  46 (1864), [xi].

Photography

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Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Photography


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Punch,  46 (1864), 2.

When to Shut the Stable Door

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Caveto Caveto
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Mental Illness, Crime, Controversy, Morality


    Discusses the controversial question of 'what degree of madness entitles a culprit to be acquitted of murder on the ground of insanity'. Identifies two answers: 'homicidal monomania' and a state 'in which the madman does not know what he is about'. Also notes the vigour with which 'disputants' attack each other, the 'severity' school attacking the 'love-and-mercy school' while the latter attacks the former 'as friends of the gallows'. Would agree to hanging madmen if it meant that 'sane' people would no longer be murdered, but does not wish to do so merely 'from a sentiment of manly sternness'. Asks both 'schools' whether 'homicidal mania is a fact', and suggests that, if it is, then it would be best to imprison madmen before they committed murder. Concludes by pondering the question of whether 'deficiency of the moral sense constitutes madness'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 2.

Householders to the Rescue

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Steam-power, Progress, Environmentalism, Physical Geography, Engineers


    Urges Londoners to resist the encroachment of the 'great Steam Giant', in response to the myriad new railway schemes proposed for the metropolis. The poem calls on Londoners to fight the 'Railway sappers' who 'breach each household wall', and to 'teach the invading engineer' that the Englishman is still able to defend his house as his castle. Anticipates some of the scenes of conflict, including the 'Beleaguered men of old', who fend off 'those who stormed the hold' and the destruction of residential garden beds. Ponders the ugly future of tunnels under the basement floor and 'Embankments blocking out your view', and then urges Londoners to distrust promises of compensation. The poet might reluctantly accept the defacement of nature 'Were it to serve the true public need', but to 'contractors', engineers', / And Lawyers' projects', the answer is 'No!'. Concludes by reiterating the rallying cry urging Londoners to 'Combine against the invading lines'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 3.

University Intelligence

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Anon

Genre:

Reminiscences, Drollery

Subjects:

Universities, Education, Reading, Mathematics

People mentioned:

Euclid Euclid (fl. 295 BC) DSB
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    Written from the perspective of an undergraduate at the University of Cambridge University of Cambridge
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, who describes how some of his friends have prepared for their degree examinations, and notes that one friend got his tailor to help him prepare by sewing cards into the lining of his coat on which were condensed his 'useful knowledge'. Adds that this strategy forced his friend to develop a procedure for remembering the location of each card.



Punch,  46 (1864), 7.

To Correspondents

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Spoof

Subjects:

Physical Geography, Photography, Quackery, Philosophy, Medical Treatment

People mentioned:

Gottfried W Leibniz Leibniz, Gottfried Wilhelm (1646–1716) DSB
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Punch,  46 (1864), 9.

'The Glass of Fashion'

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Supernaturalism, Exhibitions, Light, Technology

People mentioned:

John H Pepper, Pepper, John Henry (1821–1900) ODNB
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Henry Dircks Dircks, Henry (1806–73) ODNB
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Punch,  46 (1864), 11.

Ne Sutor Ultra Crepidam (A Christmas Love-Episode in the Life of a Comic-Contributor)

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Anon

Genre:

Short Fiction, Drollery

Subjects:

Evolution, Human Development


Punch,  46 (1864), 18.

The Vermin Famine

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Linnaeus Linnaeus
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Hunting, Agriculture, Extinction, Animal Behaviour, Taxonomy, Commerce


    Discusses the 'Fox-Famine' which reputedly exists in Ayrshire. Worries that if the disappearance of foxes before 'advancing agriculture and civilisation, cannot be arrested, there will soon be no foxes in that division of Scotland'. Upholds the 'utility of foxes', specifically fox hunting, which the narrator praises as 'part of the poetry of the nation' and which accords foxes the status of 'fancy vermin'. Identifies other species as 'fancy vermin', including birds of prey, badgers, polecats, weasels, stoats, and otters, but laments the fact that 'the successors of the old English gentleman have become poulterers, the British fauna, under the name of vermin, are getting exterminated, in order that the greatest possible quantity of game may be sent to market'. Concludes by upholding 'the divinity of the fields and forests, for old Pan, and the fauna at large'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 18.

Wonderful Agreement Between the French and the English

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Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Steamships, Commerce


    Reports on a plan to 'make a raffle of the Great Eastern Great Eastern, ship
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'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 18.

Crime its Own Excuse

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Crankey Cracker M.D. Cracker, Crankey (MD)
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Mental Illness, Psychology, Crime, Human Development


    Identifying himself as a 'medical man', the narrrator discusses a report of a young girl who had been remanded in a police station for 'stripping children of their clothes', one child perishing after being stripped of practically every item of clothing. Hopes that the girl will not be punished and suggests that her actions may have been prompted by 'the beauty of the undraped infantine figure' at the Crystal Palace Crystal Palace
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, or a compulsion to clothe the less 'well-cared-for' children, or a feeling of revenge on the children's parents, or the need to sell the clothes in exchange for a Christmas present.



Punch,  46 (1864), 18.

A Cackle from a Correspondent

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Ann Oldgoose Oldgoose, Ann
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Spiritualism


Punch,  46 (1864), 19.

Paint-Pot Advertisements

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Anon

Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Telegraphy, Commerce, Environmentalism, Aesthetics, Physical Geography


    Urging prompt action to be taken to stop 'the abominable practice of painting tradesmen's names on all the dead walls about London', points out that 'What with ugly Railway Bridges disfiguring our streets, and Electric Wires like clothes-lines carried along our house-tops, we Londoners have certainly few prospects to be proud of'.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 21.

Justice to Ireland

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An Irish Owl Irish Owl, An
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Meteorology, Prognostication, Cultural Geography


    Noting Robert Fitzroy's Fitzroy, Robert (1805–65) DSB
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claim in the The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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that 'there is usually a day's interval before Irish weather reaches England', blames this delay on the 'mismanagement of the Saxon' and suggests that the English should allow Irish weather to 'start the day before' so that it gets there on time.



Punch,  46 (1864), 22.

Two Views of One Subject

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Crime, Education, Health, Disease


Punch,  46 (1864), 22.

Subterranean Poetry

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Anon

Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways


    Discusses a notice affixed to carriages of the 'Underground [Metropolitan Metropolitan Railway Company
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] Railway' urging passengers not to open the carriage doors until the train stops at the platform.



Punch,  46 (1864), 24, 27.

Dinners for Poor Children Wanted

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Anon

Genre:

Essay

Subjects:

Nutrition, Human Development, Health, Disease, Patronage, Morality, Religion


    Discusses a Guernsey Star Guernsey Star (1812–1900+) British Library Newspaper Catalogue
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report of Victor M Hugo's Hugo, Victor Marie (1802–85) CBD
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visit to the Hauteville House Hauteville House, Gurnsey
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in Guernsey, where he entertained 'the poor children who, for about two years, have been the constant recipients of his bounty' and treated them to a 'substantial dinner once a fortnight'. The Guernsey Star reports that Hugo claimed that his actions were prompted by medical and scientific inquiry into a supposed correlation between certain diseases associated with the poor (including scrofula and rickets) and a deficiency of 'animal food' in the diet. Hugo adds that his test of this theory in Guernsey 'had been undoubtedly successful', and Punch stresses that providing a child with a meal of fresh meat 'is not a very costly gift', and that such a diet will better prepare them for work. Agrees with Hugo that such provisions are part of Christian duty, and urges the establishment of 'poor children's public dinners'. (24)



Punch,  46 (1864), 27.

Advertisements: Rendered Necessary by the Railway Invasion

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Anon

Genre:

Advertisement, Spoof

Subjects:

Railways, Environmentalism, Archaeology, Zoological Gardens, Progress


    A series of advertisements, each of which announces events and courses of action made necessary by the encroachment of the railway lines of the London, Chatham, and Dover Railway Company London, Chatham, and Dover Railway Company
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. For example, one advertisement announces that the 'Lord of the Manor of Stonehenge Stonehenge
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wishes to 'inform archaeologists and others' that the 'Druidical remain will be on view until the 1st of April, when it will be put into thorough repair, and converted into an engine-house' for the London, Chatham, and Dover Railway Company, while another advertisement informs the 'animals at the Zoological Gardens Zoological Society of London —Gardens
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' about possible plans to turn their gardens into a coal depot.



Punch,  46 (1864), 30.

A Rap for a Rapper

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Spiritualism

People mentioned:

Daniel D Home Home, Daniel Dunglas (1833–86) ODNB
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Punch,  46 (1864), 31.

Contraband Spirits at Rome

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Spiritualism, Religious Authority, Supernaturalism, Miracle, Experiment, Proof


    Discusses news that Daniel D Home Home, Daniel Dunglas (1833–86) ODNB
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has been asked to leave Rome unless he discontinues his 'business in the spirit line'. Notes that during Home's interrogation by police officers in Rome, spirits apparently rapped on a nearby table, but Punch requests that such a 'phenomenon' be 'submitted to the inspection of a British Inspector or two', emphasising that in Rome 'the motion of inanimate objects', such as pictures and statues, is 'so ordinary an occurrence'. Notes that the papacy apparently attributes table-moving to an inferior class of spirits, but suggests that Pope Pius IX Pius IX, Pope (1792–1878) CBD
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'might order an experimentum crucis for the extraction of truth'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 31.

The Two Dromios

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Meteorology, Prognostication

People mentioned:

Robert Fitzroy Fitzroy, Robert (1805–65) DSB
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Punch,  46 (1864), 33.

A Mechanical Donkey

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Controversy, Periodicals

People mentioned:

John P Edwards Edwards, John Passmore (1823–1911) ODNB
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Publications cited:

Mechanics' Magazine Mechanics' Magazine (1823–72) Iron: the Journal of Science, Metals, and Manufactures (1872–93) Industries and Iron (1893–99) Waterloo Directory
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Punch,  46 (1864), 33.

A Question to be Answered

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Spiritualism, Charlatanry, Religious Authority


Punch,  46 (1864), 37.

What it is Coming to. (An extract from the Police Reports of 1865)

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Anon

Genre:

Extract, Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Crime, Mental Illness, Medical Practitioners, Proof


    Reports on various cases of alleged criminal behaviour, most of which include details of medical practitioners' contentious views on the mental condition of prisoners. Dr Cranky Cracker, for example, 'the eminent mad-doctor', insists that William Smasher was 'suffering under hallucination' when he threw a stone through a jewellers' shop window, while in the case of George Flashington, Dr Sneaker Weasel argues that the prisoner was not responsible for embezzling a large sum of money from a bank and denies that he has been bribed for 'giving such evidence'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 37.

Envy

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Mental Illness, Psychology


    'The Dyspepsia of the Mind'



Punch,  46 (1864), 38–39.

A Duck Dished

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Politics, Anaesthesia, Military Technology, Medical Treatment, Disease, Politics, Internationalism


    This poem describes the state of 'La France', a country whose deep wounds have been causing more pain because her various opiates (which refer to those aspects of French culture which gave it strength) no longer bring relief. For example, she waves away 'La Gloire's morphine' (a reference to the powerful French ironclad La Gloire La Gloire, ship
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) 'for which she used / To crave'. Proceeds to describe her grave financial problems as if they were a severe case of blood loss. She 'doubts whether these douches / Of debt and tax and loan, / Prescribed by her kind doctor, / Were not best let alone', while the doctor warns her of the dangers of having her 'food' dressed 'à la Liberté', and of bursting out of her 'safety-bands'. Notes how 'Europe's M.D.'s' cannot treat her condition (a reference to the unsuccessful attempt by Emperor Napoleon III Napoleon III, Emperor of France (originally Louis Napoléon (Charles Louis Napoléon Bonaparte)) (1808–73) CBD
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of France to organize a European congress) and her own doctor is forced to try alternative remedies including 'De Morny's tonic bitters' (a reference to Napoleon III's counsellor, Charles A K J, Duc de Morny Morny, Charles Auguste Louis Joseph, Duc de (1811–65) CBD
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).



Punch,  46 (1864), 39.

Quackery Crying Out

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Quackery, Patents, Language, Medical Treatment, Medical Practitioners, Government, Politics, Public Health


    Discusses a letter in the Daily Telegraph Daily Telegraph (1856–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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from a quack who, evidently alarmed by the prospect of a new clause in the 'New Medical Bill' depriving quacks of property rights to their 'notorious' specifics, upholds the virtues of patent medicines over 'violent remedies' and questions why so many different remedies are needed for 'the one simple object—the correction of the stomach and intestines'. Punch defends the use of a multiplicity of medicines, pointing out that different digestive and other organs of the body need different remedies. Proceeds to discuss the quack's claim that the new legislation reflects the shortcomings of, and the necessity for abolishing, the 'gigantic medical monopoly', and underlines the need to stop fettering those 'who do understand the theory of cause and effect' and understand their remedies. Surmising that the latter is a self-reference, Punch contrasts the rigorous scientific training undertaken by 'regularly educated physicians' to the training in the 'practice of puffery' undertaken by quacks. Concludes by pointing out that medical practitioners 'are constituted guardians of the public health by Act of Parliament' and that when patent medicines are abolished, patients can turn to 'a respectable practitioner' and receive proper treatment.



Punch,  46 (1864), 39.

Home Home, Daniel Dunglas (1833–86) ODNB
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in Rome

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Spiritualism, Religious Authority


Punch,  46 (1864), 40.

The Longest Joke on Record

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Psychology, Human Development, Crime


    Discusses Edmund Falconer's Falconer (properly O'Rourke), Edmund (c.1814–1879) ODNB
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new drama, which shows that 'solitary confinement for twenty years is a piece of experience that may be laughed at'—a claim that contradicts the belief that such an experience would 'turn a bad man into a savage, and a good one into an idiot'. Relates that the prisoner in Falconer's drama 'regards his punishment as a positively beneficial process' because it 'sharpens the enjoyment of fresh air, and the salutary privilege of exercise'.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 41.

Nothing Like a Mechanical Turn (For Hairbrushing)

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R T P Pritchett, Robert Taylor (1828–1907) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

R T P Pritchett, Robert Taylor (1828–1907) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Technology, Amusement


    Shows the country-house drawing room of an 'ingenious swell' who is having his hair brushed with a circular brush whose spindle is rotated by a giant wheel on the end of a barrel organ.



Punch,  46 (1864), 41.

The London and Suburban Iron and Mud Miners' Company (Limited)

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A Swindler Swindler, A
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Genre:

Advertisement, Spoof

Subjects:

Industry, Manufactories, Commerce, Metallurgy


    Offers shares in a company which, inspired by the work of 'certain members of our Scientific bodies', seeks to recover 'the large amount of metal deposited by wear and tear of tires of wheels, horse-shoes, &c., in the Mud of the London streets' for use in such iron manufactures as armour plates and Armstrong Armstrong, Sir William George, Baron Armstrong of Cragside (1810–1900) ODNB
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guns. Lists the principle 'veins' discovered by the company, which include '"The Wheal Oxford", running the whole length of Oxford Street'. Notes that because scavengers collect mud from the streets, the company will not require any staff or a need to raise capital, but that there will be prospects of 'enormous' profits.



Punch,  46 (1864), 42.

The Squabble About the Nile

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Exploration, Discovery, Controversy


    Discusses the controversy between, on the one hand, John H Speke Speke, John Hanning (1827–64) ODNB
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and James A Grant Grant, James Augustus (1827–92) ODNB
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, and on the other, Charles T Beke Beke, Charles Tilstone (1800–74) ODNB
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, over the 'Sources of the Nile'. Surprised by the 'heat of bilious ire' among 'scientific minds'. Notes how Beke did 'peck' at Speke 'with such a dogged will' because Speke called Beke 'BIGG'—possibly a reference to the Irish poet, John S Bigg Bigg, John Stanyan (1828–65) ODNB
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.



Punch,  46 (1864), 42.

'The Same Concern'

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Spiritualism, Religious Authority, Miracle, Imposture


    Responding to news that Daniel D Home Home, Daniel Dunglas (1833–86) ODNB
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has been ordered to leave Rome, this poem ponders the reasons for the order, suggesting that it was because the 'pictures that wink, / And statues that blink, / Can't stand spirits that rap', and that therefore 'two of a trade can't agree'. Ends by suggesting that 'There's one place like Home, and that's Rome, my dear HOME'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 44.

Really Necessary Lines

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Progress


Punch,  46 (1864), 47.

Ballooning Extraordinary

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The Sky Terrier Sky Terrier, The
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Aeronautics, Meteorology, Animal Behaviour


    In this letter to Mr Punch's dog, Toby, 'Messrs. COXWELL Coxwell, Henry (Tracey) (1819–1900) ODNB
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and GLAISHER'S Glaisher, James (1809–1903) DSB
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aëronautical Dog' recalls the time when they were being instructed in 'Twinkle, twinkle, little star' and boasts that he has 'been up to see the Star that twinkles' and to 'emulate the acrobatic Cow' who 'o'ertopped the Silvery Moon'. Reminds Toby that he and three rabbits went on a journey with Coxwell and Glaisher above the clouds. These animals were taken in order to study the effects of 'low temperature and sudden changes on them'. Criticises the aeronauts for being 'dullards' who fell asleep on the journey and who selfishly deprived him of the rabbits. Proceeds to give an account of how he was kicked and generally maltreated by the aeronauts and of his confusion between 'air' with 'hare'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 47.

Advice to Federal America

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

War, Military Technology, Steamships, Nationalism, Cultural Geography, Commerce

Institutions mentioned:

Ironside, Ironside, ship
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Keokuk Keokuk, ship
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    Opens by noting the 'navy of iron' now enjoyed by the 'Yankees', but points out that despite this force they still 'haven't yet taken Charleston', which is being defended by 'Secessia's power' and cannot compete with Alexander A Semmes Semmes, Alexander Aldebaran (1825–85) WBI
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who sweeps its seas. Anticipates the dissolution of the 'menacing overgrown Union' and hopes that 'those that shall rise from its ashes' will be wiser than their predecessors and unite with John Bull. Concludes by ridiculing the strength of the Yankee navy and asking the Yankees to fling its 'brag to the breeze' and 'Commerce restore to the seas'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 48.

Notices for the Coming Session

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Politics


Punch,  46 (1864), 48.

The New Gun

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Military Technology


    'The "Infant Prince", the six-pounder'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 48.

Political Pluck

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Anon

Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

Astrology

People mentioned:

Richard J Morrison Morrison, Richard James ('Zadkiel') (1795–1874) ODNB
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Punch,  46 (1864), 49.

The University of Beer

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Nutrition, Education, Universities


    Responds to news of the death of a Viennese brewer, Anton Dreyer Dreyer, Anton (fl. 1864) PU1/46/5/11
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, and of his son's intention to train at Barclay and Perkins Barclay and Perkins, firm
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. Declares that 'the cause of both sobriety and exhilaration is promoted by whatever tends to the production of good liquor', linking 'bad beer' with excessive drunkenness and maintaining that good beer enlivens rather than stupefies. Defends brewing as a 'scientific art' and the notion that achieving 'a high standard of malt liquor' requires a good education, which Punch believes Barclay and Perkins will provide. For this reason, deems this and other brewers to 'constitute a University of Beer'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 49.

Railway Aggression on London

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Anon

Genre:

Essay

Subjects:

Railways, Environmentalism, Engineering, Commerce, Politics, Government, Class


    Opens by describing the action that Englishmen will have to take in order to thwart the advances of 'the emissaries of the Railway Company', and condemns the threat to English homes by 'a society of speculative adventurers, pursuing self-aggrandisement under the pretence of public advantage'. Considers such an invasion to be 'the legalised burglary of the Railway Companies'. Asking whether any means exist for 'averting the imminent destruction of the little beauty which our capital possesses', urges householders in London and its suburbs whose property is under threat to 'get up a petition and present it to the Houses both of Lords House of Lords
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and Commons House of Commons
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'. Bitterly condemns the proposal for 'a railroad cut through Kensington Gardens', an 'impossible' act of 'desecration' that Parliament now seems likely to permit. Thinks it is 'all very well' for the railways to encroach on the property of a 'bloated aristocrat' but 'when the levelling agency of the dumpy level' affects the property of the 'middle classes' then 'Railway aggression is an insufferable nuisance'. Concludes by reiterating the call for a petition.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 52.

Domestic Demons

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Anon

Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

Superstition, Spiritualism, Religion, Magic, Mental Illness


    Opens by noting that 'to minds not constitutionally incredulous', spiritualist manifestations give foundation to ancient beliefs about witchcraft. Believing spiritualism and necromancy to be 'convertible terms', anticipates the possibility of modern sorcery and Faustian pacts and considers likely equivalents for characters in the myth of Dr Faustus.



Punch,  46 (1864), 52.

Hints to Chairman

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Travel


Punch,  46 (1864), 53.

The Puff Poetical

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Anon

Genre:

Introduction, Drollery; Advertisement, Spoof

Subjects:

Electricity, Invention, Time, Technology


Punch,  46 (1864), 58.

New Fact in Electrical Science

View full article text

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Electricity, Telegraphy, Physiology, Medical Treatment, Technology


    Reports that 'Medical men' have stated that some electricity is conveyed to the body when receiving a telegram, and that it is 'a very healthy thing to take a course of telegrams, and their efficacy is increased by the shock which it gives most people to receive a telegram at all'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 60.

Colney Hatch Quadrilles

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Smelfungus Smelfungus
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Mental Illness, Hospitals, Amusement, Human Development, Music


    Discusses a report in The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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of the Colney Hatch Lunatic Asylum Colney Hatch Asylum
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Christmas party, at which approximately 600 inmates showed great delight in 'Nigger Minstrels' and a 'troupe of Chinese jugglers'. Does not think that it is surprising that the Chinese performers should delight the 'demented and insane', but is puzzled by the fact that the inmates also enjoyed quadrille bands. Concludes by asking, 'What philosopher will dare to propose a solution of this apparent fact in psychology?'.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 61.

From an Old Hoss

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Postboios Athanat'oss Athanat'oss, Postboios
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Railways, Steam-power


    Written from the perspective of a horse, who reflects on his redundancy in 'these Railway Days', but thinks that 'steam people' are returning to horses since he overhead two railway directors upholding the need for advertising 'Posters' (an archaic word for post-horses) to make railways pay.



Punch,  46 (1864), 63.

Our Railway Kings and Commons

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Government


    Discusses news that the new parliamentary session will open with 43 railway directors in the House of Lords House of Lords
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, which Punch thinks will inhibit Parliament in preventing the 'demolition' of London by 'Railway Aggression'. Anticipates the possibility that Londoners will not be able to procure a house without a railway destroying it.



Punch,  46 (1864), 63.

Horticultural

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Anon

Genre:

Editorial, Drollery

Subjects:

Horticulture, Language


    Responds to a 'Cultivated Horticulturalist' who wants to know 'On what can he graft a [...] slip of a tongue'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 67.

Real Railway Advantages

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Anon

Genre:

Drama, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Disease, Medical Practitioners, Medical Treatment, Psychology, Mental Illness


    The drama is set in the consulting room of a 'MR. MAGNEESHER, the eminent M.D.', very close to two railway stations. The action describes the doctor's consultation with several women patients, the first of whom is described as a 'Nervous Patient' who is paralysed by the deafening sound of railway bells. The noise is so loud that the doctor has to mime to a consumptive patient that he wants to use a stethescope, although this procedure is disrupted by further railway noise and vibrations. Concludes with the doctor shaking his fist at the railway stations.



Punch,  46 (1864), 68.

Express

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J L Leech, John (1817–64) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

J L Leech, John (1817–64) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Railways, Accidents, Class


    Shows a nervous looking 'Old Gent' and a smug looking 'Swell' in a railway carriage. The swell replies to the old gent's fears about the apparent speed of the train, by casually pointing out that the train is making up for lost time and is likely to 'smash presently'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 69.

New Notices of Motion

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Anon

Genre:

Introduction; Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Environmentalism, Politics


Punch,  46 (1864), 70.

Sporting Recollections—Science Applied to Deer-Stalking

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R T P Pritchett, Robert Taylor (1828–1907) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Illustration

Relevant illustrations:

wdct. [4]

Illustrators:

R T P Pritchett, Robert Taylor (1828–1907) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Hunting, Amusement, Instruments


    Shows a sequence of images representing the experiences of a group of Scottish deer-hunters who travel to a remote part of the country laden with large boxes of scientific instruments (including a clinometer, telescopes, and a barometer), which they use successfully to fulfil their goal.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 71.

Anecdote of the Frost

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Anon

Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Subjects:

Meteorology, Heat, Instruments, Gender


    Shows a man pretending to read a thermometer hanging in a shop doorway. A woman standing near him, unable to see what he is observing, takes the man's exclamation, 'Quite Thirty, by Jove!', to refer to her age. She replies, 'I'm nothing of the kind, Sir', and scorns his pretending not to see her.



Punch,  46 (1864), 72.

The Poetry of Railways

View full article text

Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Environmentalism


Punch,  46 (1864), 73.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

View full article text

Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Steamships, Hospitals, Patronage

Institutions mentioned:

Royal Naval Hospital, Greenwich Royal Naval Hospital, Greenwich
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Punch,  46 (1864), 74.

Inhumanity in Man

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Mental Illness, Government, Race, Cultural Geography, Human Development

People mentioned:

John H Speke Speke, John Hanning (1827–64) ODNB
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    Discusses a letter from Sydney Hodges Hodges, Sydney (fl. 1864) PU1/46/8/4
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to the The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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describing the 'barbarous and disgusting' treatment of the insane on the Isle of Man, a claim confirmed by the Commissioners in Lunacy Commissioners in Lunacy
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. Quotes William C Spring-Rice's Spring-Rice, William Cecil (1823–80) WBI
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reply from The Times, pointing out that the Isle of Man government knew of the neglect of lunatics on the island but were 'taking active measures to build a proper asylum'. Punch is sceptical and wonders why the lunacy commissioners were so late in revealing the sorry state of lunatics to the Home Secretary, George Grey Grey, Sir George (1799–1882) ODNB
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, given that they have only recently made a 'tardy representation to Government'. Suggests that the reason was either fear of Grey (who Punch thinks must have seemed like a barbarous 'African Monarch') or because the commissioners are like 'African ladies' who are 'fed and fattened and kept doing nothing'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 77.

Multum in Parvo

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Louisa Little Little, Louisa
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Vaccination, Medical Treatment, Human Development


Punch,  46 (1864), 78.

Mr John Thomas to His Sweetheart

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Vaccination, Heroism


Punch,  46 (1864), 80.

Bores in Frost

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Jeanie Brightway Brightway, Jeanie
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Human Development, Animal Behaviour, Hunting


    Written from the perspective of an aristocratic woman, who notes the 'wild-boars' which, owing to the 'late frost', are reported to 'have appeared in great numbers in different country places of France', and that 'hunting-clubs have been established' to kill them. She complains that British frosts have prompted the invasion of 'ladies' sanctum sanctorum' by 'bores'. Drawing an analogy between humans and animals, she laments the way that the frost makes the otherwise tame 'bores' wild, and that 'hunting-clubs' (to which bores typically belong) keep them away from ladies' quarters. Describes how ladies are scared by a 'rush of huge hairy bores', who are white-toothed, long-whiskered, and driven indoors by the hard weather, and who generally cause havoc. She criticises other women for hunting 'bores' and wishes to face them 'on equal terms' and bring them down 'with a dead shot in the heart'.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 81–82.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

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Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Government, Politics, Railways, Patents, Metrology, Exhibitions, Crime, Mental Illness


    Discusses the collapse of parliamentary bills for railway lines in Brighton and between the east and west coasts of Scotland (the latter proposal being favoured by Punch), and responds to the proposal of Granville G Leveson-Gower (2nd Earl Granville) Leveson-Gower, Granville George, 2nd Earl Granville (1815–91) ODNB
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to improve the Patent Museum and Library Patent Museum and Library
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, with the suggestion that the patent system should be abolished altogether. Later questions the 'utility' of William Ewart's Ewart, William (1798–1869) ODNB
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'Permissive Bill in favour of the Metric System', believing that it needs to be implemented more firmly, and reports on the dismantling of the buildings of the International Exhibition International Exhibition (1862), London
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, and on a 'Committee on the Insane Criminals' Bill'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 82.

Spirits in the Coal-Hole

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Invention, Technology, Temperance, Spiritualism


    Noting the alleged exhaustion of British 'coal fields', discusses news of a 'French patent for the manufacture of Brandy from Coal Gas', a patent bought by an English firm and which Punch thinks will raise demand for coal. Thinks this also explains why 'OLD KING COAL was a merry old soul', and why coal produces increased inflammation of the cuticle. Suggests that the gas from which brandy is made should be piped into houses, thus enabling the beverage to be delivered 'on tap', but fears for the cause of temperance.



Punch,  46 (1864), 82.

'In the Name of the Prophet'

View full article text

Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Drollery

Subjects:

Astrology, Prognostication, Publishing

People mentioned:

Richard J Morrison Morrison, Richard James ('Zadkiel') (1795–1874) ODNB
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Punch,  46 (1864), 83.

A Joke from the Commissioners in Lunacy

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Mental Illness, Government


    Discusses William C Spring-Rice's Spring-Rice, William Cecil (1823–80) WBI
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reply to Punch's criticism of his actions in regard to the inadequacy of provision for lunatics on the Isle of Man (see Anon, 'Inhumanity in Man', Punch, 46 (1864), 74). Spring-Rice claims that the Commissioners in Lunacy Commissioners in Lunacy
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drew George Grey's Grey, Sir George (1799–1882) ODNB
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attention to the problem in November 1861, much earlier than Punch had suggested. Punch thinks this response calls for an apology to Grey because the implication that the Isle of Man lunatics are in the same condition now as they were in late 1861 makes Rice's claims 'a joke' at Grey's expense.



Punch,  46 (1864), 87.

A Question of Good Breeding

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Animal Husbandry, Animal Development, Breeding, Language


    Announcing the formation of a committee by the Royal Agricultural Society of Ireland Royal Agricultural Society of Ireland
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'to inquire into the causes of the deterioration in the breed of Irish horses', suggests that the same committee should investigate the 'more important matter' of the 'preservation of Irish Bulls' (a self-contradictory statement)—an 'invaluable species' which deserves to be encouraged for its laughter.



Punch,  46 (1864), 88.

Dupin and his Dupes

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Transport, Nationalism, Animal Behaviour, Nationalism, Animal Behaviour


    Discusses a speech on the Suez Canal Suez Canal
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made by André M J J Dupin Dupin, André Marie Jean Jacques (1783–1865) WBI
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who, according to the Debat Debat (cited 1864) PU1/46/9/6
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, claimed that England had tried to stop the engineering construction through 'envious' diplomacy and although the country had once 'frightened all the world' it was now 'frightened at everything'. In response, relates an anecdote of Georges Cuvier Cuvier, Georges (1769–1832) DSB
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, who ironically accepted the definition of a crab as a 'red fish that goes backwards' with the slight reservations that crabs are neither red, nor fish, nor walk backwards. Punch similarly accepts Dupin's account of England, with the reservations that it 'is not envious, never desired to frighten the world, and is now not in the least frightened'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 88.

Hemp for Hemp

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In Terrorem In Terrorem
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Homeopathy, Crime


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Punch,  46 (1864), 91–92.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

View full article text

Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Government, Politics, Military Technology, Steamships, Nutrition


    Reports on the 'smart debate' raised by William R S V Fitzgerald Fitzgerald, Sir William Robert Seymour Vesey (1816/18–85) ODNB
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on 'those unfortunate rams' of John Laird Laird, John (1805–74) ODNB
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(i.e. the ironclads built by Laird for the Confederate government, but seized by the British Government following Union diplomacy). In the debate, Lord Robert A T G Cecil Cecil, Robert Arthur Talbot Gascoyne-, 3rd Marquess of Salisbury (1830–1903) ODNB
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, Hugh M Cairns Cairns, Hugh McCalmont, 1st Earl Cairns (1819–85) ODNB
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, and Spencer H Walpole Walpole, Spencer Horatio (1806–98) ODNB
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'went at the iron ships hammer and tongs'. Notes that Thomas Baring Baring, Thomas (1799–1873) ODNB
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pointed out to Laird's defenders that the iron ships were intended for the president of the Confederate states, Jefferson Davis Davis, Jefferson (1808–89) CBD
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.



Punch,  46 (1864), 93.

The Staff College Royal Military College, Sandhurst
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View full article text

A Bewildered Candidate for the Staff Bewildered Candidate for the Staff, A
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Education, Mathematics, Palaeontology, Geology, Chemistry, Pneumatics


    The candidate asks Punch for advice on the complicated questions that he has to answer for 'the next Staff College Entrance Examination'. He then presents a sample question which parodies the incomprehensibility of military examination papers and consists of an incongruous mixture of assertions about mathematics, palaeontology, geology, chemistry, and pneumatics.



Punch,  46 (1864), 94.

Pa—pers!

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Manufactories, Aeronautics, Politics, Government


    Responding to a report of leading statesmen moving 'for papers' in the Houses of Parliament Houses of Parliament
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, the poem describes the widespread use of exported Japanese paper. Notes its use in building construction, in political debates, and in Michel J de Montgolfier's Montgolfier, Michel Joseph de (1740–1810) DSB
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balloon, but warns of its fragility and combustibility.



Punch,  46 (1864), 98–99.

As Clerum

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Anon

Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct. [10]

Illustrators:

D M Du Maurier, George Louis Palmella Busson (1834–96) ODNB
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Human Development, Animal Behaviour, Religious Authority


    Describes the various styles of beards worn by the clergy. Stresses that the 'Barbarine Movement is altogether the property of the [Anglican] Establishment', while Dissenters shave 'in gloomy silence'. Several of these beard styles make the wearers look like various animal species. For example, there is 'the Turkeycock', in which the beard is 'brought down in the shape of a turkeycock's jowls', 'the Gibbon, a very becoming fringe, suggested by that amiable species of ape', 'the Lynx', which 'is most appropriate for preachers of the Boanerges class', and 'the Goat', which is 'merely the under beard brought over the cravat'. (98) The illustrations show clergymen wearing various styles of beard.



Punch,  46 (1864), 99.

A Haunted House!

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Charles Gull, M.D. Gull, Charles (MD)
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Spiritualism, Charlatanry, Methodology


    The narrator opens by declaring his interest in 'spiritual phenomena' and his attempts to 'obtain an experimental knowledge of the hitherto, to me, invisible and inaudible world', and then explains that during an investigation of an allegedly haunted house, he saw the disembodied 'head of a lady' whose utterances suggested some 'fearful crime'. He presents 'Depositions of Credible Witnesses', most of whom are untutored female domestic servants in the house who offer indecisive evidence for the alleged apparition.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 101.

A Poet in a Pet

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[Trident], pseud.  [Henry R Howard] Howard, Henry R (fl. 1853) Spielmann 1895
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

[Trident], pseud.  [Henry R Howard] Howard, Henry R (fl. 1853) Spielmann 1895
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Electricity, Instruments


    The initial letter of the article forms part of an illustration showing a deep-sea diver ascending a rope-ladder that hangs from a buoy to the sea bed. Near the diver is a huge electric eel which approaches some Leyden jars and other electrical instruments on the sea bed.



Punch,  46 (1864), 101.

A Mad World

View full article text

Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

War, Military Technology


    Reflecting on the persistence of wars across the globe (notably the recent Prussian-Austrian war against Denmark), notes that 'Science, which we hoped was given / That mortals Nature might subdue, / Is taxed for bolts that, farthest driven, / May crush their fellow, flying true; / And armour to defend the sides / Of the strong ship that keeps the sea'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 102.

Miss Ellen Lyttle Humbug to Her Cousin, Miss Frances Lyttle Humbug

View full article text

Ellen Lyttle Humbug Humbug, Ellen Lyttle
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Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct. [10]

Illustrators:

D M Du Maurier, George Louis Palmella Busson (1834–96) ODNB
Close   View the register entry >>
Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Human Development, Animal Behaviour, Religious Authority


    Similar to Anon, 'As Clerum', Punch, 46 (1864), 98–99, this describes fashions which give humans the appearance of animals. The author describes women's hairstyles that require the use of animal parts or are shaped to look like animals. She notes the French fashion for beautiful coiffures made of the tails of monkeys, pigs, donkeys, and foxes, as well as the paws of cats and lions. She then proceeds to gossip about mutual friends who have such ornithological names as Jane Effie Goldfinch and Mrs Crowbill. The illustrations show women wearing animal parts, or with their hair shaped like animals.



Punch,  46 (1864), 103.

Directions for Making Parliamentary Fireworks (À La Disraeli)

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Politics, Heat, Light, Instruments, Amusement


    Reflecting on Benjamin Disraeli's Disraeli, Benjamin, 1st Earl of Beaconsfield (1804–81) ODNB
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aggressive parliamentary tactics, this poem opens by pondering the nature of the 'stuff' of 'the undertaker / Of the unsavoury trade of / Opposition firework-maker'. It then describes the construction of fiery parliamentary speeches as if they were fireworks. They are constructed from such unsavoury ingredients as 'inferences and fictions', and 'Steel-filings epigrammatic / And salt for burning blue [a reference to the traditional colour of the Conservative Party]', but 'Any paper a case will make / And any stick a handle', while the 'party' can supply 'cold water' for making 'Wet powder' fireworks. Having described the ascent and descent of the 'firework', notes that parliamentary fireworks 'Are warranted perfectly harmless'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 103–04.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

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Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Education, Military Technology, Government


    Reports on the government's successful campaign to establish a Royal School of Naval Architecture Royal School of Naval Architecture
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at South Kensington, to which Punch adds the suggestion that 'Arrangements are to be made for launching the vessels into the basin in the Horticultural Gardens Royal Horticultural Society—Gardens, Chiswick
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'. Later notes news of an imminent 'grand trial of the rival guns, ARMSTRONG Armstrong, Sir William George, Baron Armstrong of Cragside (1810–1900) ODNB
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v. WHITWORTH Whitworth, Sir Joseph, 1st Baronet (1803–87) ODNB
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', and therefore suggests establishing a 'School of Naval Gunnery'. Proceeds to explain the progress of a 'Bill for testing Chain Cable, so as to ensure the safety of vessels at anchor'. (104)



Punch,  46 (1864), 104.

A Real Ruffian

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Accidents, Crime


Punch,  46 (1864), 110.

The Monkey's of St Benedict

View full article text

Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Human Development, Animal Behaviour, Evolution, Religious Authority, Religion


    Noting that 'The essential sameness of Man with Gorilla has lately been urged with much vehemence by some gentlemen who perhaps in their own persons afford the strongest proofs of it', considers a 'plausible argument in its favour' to be the 'monkey's tricks' played by the Anglican monk Joseph L Lyne Lyne, Joseph Leycester ('Father Ignatius') (1837–1908) ODNB
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('Brother Ignatius'). Notes that, according to a report in The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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, Ignatius and his brethren are in the habit of walking muddy and snow-covered streets wearing only 'rough sandals'. Suggests that if Ignatius had done this in Rome, Pope Pius IX Pius IX, Pope (1792–1878) CBD
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would probably not have 'put him into a cage and exhibited', but he would have been 'shut up by the Inquisition'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 112.

News of the World

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Matthew Muddle Muddle, Matthew
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof; Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Mathematics


Punch,  46 (1864), 112.

Fables from the French

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Telegraphy, Steamships, Cultural Geography, Progress


    Believes that 'Electric telegraphs and steam-boats have apparently done little for our friends across the Channel in the matter of improving their acquaintance with Great Britain', and presents evidence for this from the Daily Telegraph Daily Telegraph (1856–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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whose Paris correspondent reports some gross misconceptions of English behaviour.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 113.

Canards

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Anon

Genre:

Introduction, Drollery; Report, Spoof

Subjects:

Animal Behaviour, Music, Nutrition


    Introduces two 'short paragraphs' from the 'French Papers' which describe an encounter between 'A well-known Naturalist' and a singing fish, and a hard-boiled egg which attacked its eater.



Punch,  46 (1864), 114.

Bumbledom's Old Bogie

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Government, Politics, Public Health, Sanitation, Disease


    Introduces 'CENTRALISATION' as the great bogie of that the 'great guardian of Vestrydom's Ark', Bumble (the parish beadle from Charles J H Dickens's Dickens, Charles John Huffam (1812–70) ODNB
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Oliver Twist [Dickens, Charles John Huffam] 1838. Oliver Twist; or, The Parish Boy's Progress, 3 vols, London: Richard Bentley
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). Centralisation is 'rolled / From under the vestry-room table' when, in the face of 'Vested interests' thwarting 'some long-standing brazen-faced job', 'a zealous Reformer, or Minister bold, / Takes the bull by the horns'. Describes the hostility between Bumbledom and Centralisation, notably when 'BUMBLEDOM [...] Hands Paup'rism o'er to starvation, / Or has lifted its heel to spurn Misery aside' and faces the poor law board inspectors who are the 'minions of CENTRALISATION!'. Bumbledom is also made responsible for neglecting the need to make sewers, stop 'a foul trade', to drain, sluice and mop 'Some plague-smitten court', and to purify 'Some fever-nest', and is represented as saying 'Hands off with your CENTRALISATION!' and solving these problems with self-government. The author's support for centralisation is confirmed in his conclusion which has Bumbledom upholding 'risk and no CENTRALISATION!'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 114.

Pugilistic Geometry

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Mathematics, Amusement


    'How many squares make a round?'



Punch,  46 (1864), 119.

Customs for Steam-Rams

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Steamships, War, Commerce, Government


    Opens by attacking 'private ship-builders' of Britain, who 'have the power, by an evasion of the law', to supply 'vessels of war to the enemies of people' with whom Britain is currently at peace, but points out that 'it is intolerable that any foreign nation should be empowered to limit the business of any British ship-builder' (this is a reference to the controversy over John Laird's Laird, John (1805–74) ODNB
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attempted sale of ironclads to the Confederate government). Advises the Prime Minister, Henry J Temple (3rd Viscount Palmerston) Temple, Henry John, 3rd Viscount Palmerston (1784–1865) ODNB
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, to force through legislation that compels the 'sale of any vessel of war' which the government thinks 'proper to buy at a fair valuation'. Supports its argument by noting that the power thus conferred on the government is that enjoyed by 'money-grabbing' railway companies, and the greater efficiency that the Royal Navy Royal Navy
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would gain through additions from private dockyards.



Punch,  46 (1864), 120–21.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

View full article text

Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Subjects:

Railways, Government, Environmentalism, Metrology, Progress, Futurism, Heat, Light, Telegraphy, Engineering, Military Technology, War, Nationalism, Cultural Geography


    Reports on the defeat of several proposals for new railways in London, an announcement made by a contented Granville G Leveson-Gower (2nd Earl Granville) Leveson-Gower, Granville George, 2nd Earl Granville (1815–91) ODNB
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, and notes that railway companies are to be 'compelled to work together', thus reducing travel confusion. Later notes the acceptance of the 'London Railways Report', the contents of which were detailed by Thomas Milner-Gibson Milner-Gibson, Thomas (1806–84) ODNB
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. Joseph Paxton Paxton, Sir Joseph (1803–65) ODNB
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gave 'strong reasons' for preferring some of the rejected lines to the accepted one, but the House of Lords House of Lords
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agreed with Edward H Stanley (Lord Stanley) Stanley, Edward Henry, 15th Earl of Derby (formerly styled 'Lord Stanley') (1826–93) ODNB
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in supporting the recommendations of the report. (120) Later reports on the debate on a 'Bill permitting people to use the Metric System', and anticipates how 'Posterity' with its 'complete and scientific metric system will smile at the reluctance with which we listened' to those who ridiculed such innovations as gas, locomotives, penny postage, and the electric telegraph. Hopes posterity will not be harsh on Punch for its idea of a 'Tunnel to America' even though it has 'one to France'. Later notes the 'unsatisfactory' trials of William G Armstrong's Armstrong, Sir William George, Baron Armstrong of Cragside (1810–1900) ODNB
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'monster' gun, although Lord Clarence E Paget Paget, Lord Clarence Edward (1811–95) ODNB
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insisted that Britain led France 'in the matter of guns'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 122.

The New Telescope Sight

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Anon

Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Subjects:

Military Technology, Instruments


    Shows a number of men on a firing range, one of whom realises that the reason for his lack of success at firing his small-bore rifle is because he has mistakenly rammed the cartridges down the long telescopic sight attached to the rifle barrel.



Punch,  46 (1864), 122.

Theatrical Intelligence

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Anon

Genre:

Drama, Drollery

Subjects:

Pharmaceuticals, Chemistry, Amusement, Language


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Punch,  46 (1864), 124–25.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

View full article text

Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Accidents, Industry, Manufactories, Government, Patronage


    Reports on the aid given to victims of the 'awful catastrophe at Sheffield' (which was flooded when the Dale Dyke Dam Dale Dyke Dam, Low Bradfield
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in Low Bradfield collapsed), including substantial monetary donations from the town's armour-plating manufacturer John Brown Brown, Sir John (1816–96) ODNB
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. Notes that Robert Rawlinson Rawlinson, Sir Robert (1810–98) ODNB
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, 'an engineer connected with the Home Office Home Office
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', is to 'discharge his duty' in this grave matter.



Punch,  46 (1864), 132.

The Way the Cat Jumps

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In Terrorem In Terrorem
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Crime, Machinery, Force, Instruments


    Discussing the recent House of Commons House of Commons
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vote against the amendment of the Mutiny Bill, insists that the 'Act of Parliament which limits Courts Martial and Colonels to fifty lashes, omitted to provide that they should be administered by a flogging machine, graduated to act with a certain power, or that the force of the drummer's arm should be limited to a stated sum by a dynamometer'.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 133.

A Doctor's Fee

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Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Medical Practitioners, Medical Treatment, Charlatanry, Commerce

People mentioned:

Galen Galen (129/30–199/200) DSB
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Punch,  46 (1864), 134.

To the Dirty

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Sanitation, Hydropathy


Punch,  46 (1864), 135.

Shipley Swine's Feast

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Agriculture, Hunting, Cruelty, Class, Education, Morality


    Insists that 'There are some men whose dispositions are wondrously modified by those of the animals with which they are peculiarly conversant', and that 'the agricultural mind' tends towards 'prejudice and stupidity', owing to its exposure to pigs. Supports this latter claim by discussing an extract describing a meeting of the Shipley Sparrow Club Shipley Sparrow Club, West Sussex
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, West Sussex, which announced its collection of thousands of bird's heads and resolved that it would continue 'notwithstanding all that Punch and other anti-birdkillers have said'. Believes that the club takes pride in persisting in its 'brutal endeavour' and suggests as more apt names the 'Goose Club' or 'Caterpillar Club'. Concludes by arguing that killing the destroyers of vermin that ravage crops is 'suicidal' on the part of farmers, and thus indicates the similarity between agriculturalists and pigs.



Punch,  46 (1864), 135.

Notes and Queries

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, Language


    Notes that 'Pillory was not originally 'a place where an offender was obliged to take medicine, though whoever was placed therein, undoubtedly had a dose of it'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 139.

Thame County Court Law

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Pilgarlic Pilgarlic
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, Medical Practitioners, Human Development, Politics, Crime, Commerce

Publications cited:

Bicester Herald Bicester Herald (1855–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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    Addressed to John B Parry Parry, John Billinglsey (1798–1876) WBI
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, the judge in the case of W G Walker Walker, W G (fl. 1864) PU1/46/14/5
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versus Thame Poor Law Union Thames Poor Law Union
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. Walker, a medical district officer for the Thame Poor Law Union, had sought remuneration from his employers for his attendance in 'seven cases of childbirth'. The board denied payment of his claim and Walker sought clarification as to whether he had to 'attend to the orders' of the 'overseers' in such cases. The narrator criticises the judge's assessment of which midwifery cases count as being of 'sudden and urgent necessity' (as opposed to 'ordinary' cases), which are the only ones for which the judge thinks the Thame Poor Law Union are 'liable' to pay Walker. Notes Walker's protest that he is not able to ascertain beforehand whether he is to get paid for a midwifery case, and wonders how severe a case has to be before the judge considered it urgent, and points out that most cases prompting the call 'Run for the doctor' would not be considered urgent by the judge. Concludes by discussing the harsh attitude of a jury towards a doctor who, having inadvertently allowed a pauper patient to die, claimed that he was following the judge's incorrect assumption that the case was not sufficiently urgent to demand the doctor's attention.



Punch,  46 (1864), 140–41.

Buoy the Life-Boat

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Accidents, Mathematics, Political Economy

People mentioned:

Thomas R Malthus Malthus, Thomas Robert (1766–1834) DSB
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Institutions mentioned:

Royal National Lifeboat Institution Royal National Lifeboat Institution
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Punch,  46 (1864), 141.

'Drinking the Shameful'

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A Tobacco Stopper Tobacco Stopper, A
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Narcotics, Race, Travel, Exploration, Cultural Geography, Physiology, Human Development


    Declaring to Mr Punch his aversion to smokers, the narrator notes that according to an account of the Wahabites of Arabia given by William G Palgrave Palgrave, William Gifford (1826–88) ODNB
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at the Royal Geographical Society Royal Geographical Society
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, this 'sect' consider tobacco smoking to be 'the most deadly and abominable of all sins'. Thinks that smokers should be regarded in the same way as murderers, and argues that owing to their abstinence from smoking, the Wahabites 'display more taste in their street-architecture than Londoners can boast of', and show greater tolerance towards 'travellers who visit them' and 'those who differ from them in religion'. He suggests that this is because 'As men become dyspeptic, they grow dogmatic and churlish'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 142.

[The Benefits of Wine over Beer]

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Anon

Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Subjects:

Nutrition, Narcotics


    Shows a 'Swell' talking to a 'Corpulent Cabman' who has declined the swell's advice to procure some beer on the grounds that 'follerin MR. BANTIN'S adwice for corpulence' (a reference to Banting 1863 Banting, William 1863. Letter on Corpulence: Addressed to the Public, [London]: printed by Harrison and Sons
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) he should drink claret instead.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 151.

Hard Labour in Store

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Abel Handy Handy, Abel
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Force, Energy, Palaeontology, Steam-power, Work, Physiology, Political Economy, Nutrition


    Acknowledges Mr Punch's knowledge of the 'Conservation of Force' and the notion that the solar force is 'conserved in the Coal Fields', which are the remains of 'pre-Adamite tree-ferns' that 'extracted and appropriated' the carbon from the atmosphere. Goes on to acknowledge Mr Punch's awareness of the fact that coal permits the 'light and heat' of the sun to be 'reproduced' but stresses the warnings of 'scientific men' about the exhaustion of coalfields. Upholds the need to 'economise force' and, comparing the stomachs of convicts to the furnaces of steam-engines, argues in favour of exploiting the 'muscular exertions of every convict' which is currently only being wasted 'on the prison air'. Suggests that convicts should be 'employed in pumping atmospheric air into iron cylinders furnished with valves', the 'force put into the convicts in the form of meat and vegetables' being stored in a measurable quantity of 'compressed air', itself being used to supply 'motive power'. Suggests the possibility of other ways of 'bottling convict labour'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 152.

A Suggestion that Comes a Little Too Late

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Vaccination, Human Development


Punch,  46 (1864), 154.

How the World Wagged at the Period Referred to in Sir C. Lyell's Lyell, Sir Charles, 1st Baronet (1797–1875) DSB ODNB
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Work on the 'Antiquity of Man' Lyell, Charles 1863. The Geological Evidences of the Antiquity of Man: With Remarks on Theories of the Origin of Species by Variation, London: John Murray
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View full article text

Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Development, Geology, Human Development, Time, Progress, Cultural Geography, Homeopathy, Medical Treatment, Steamships, Military Technology, Transport, Music


    From the perspective of the remote past, as described in Lyell's text, looks forward to more recent events such as Hercules joining 'his club'. Also notes the absence of various aspects of contemporary life; for example, 'No globules then / Up to Number Ten / Could be purchased at MR EPPS Epps, John (1805–69) ODNB
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', 'No plated ships / Had left their slips / With an enemy's force to cope', 'No LESSEPP'S Lesseps, Ferdinand, vicomte de (1805–94) CBD
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canal Suez Canal
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/ Raised a sad cabal / On account of its unpaid Fellahs', and 'No BABBAGE Babbage, Charles (1792–1871) DSB
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as yet / Was made to fret / By the notes of a hurdy-gurdy'.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 155.

A Trap to Catch a Pickpocket

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Crime, Invention


    Discusses a report in the Lombardia Lombardia (1859–1900+) SBN
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of Milan of an invention to thwart pickpockets: an iron trap placed in a coat pocket. Hopes that the invention is 'a fact' and anticipates that catching pickpockets in this way will 'soon become a common occurrence.



Punch,  46 (1864), 155.

A Ghost-Dog

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Supernaturalism, Religion, Animal Behaviour, Spiritualism


    Discusses remarks made in a lecture by Frederic W Farrar Farrar, Frederic William (1831–1903) ODNB
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at the Anthropological Society Anthropological Society of London
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(a version of which was published as Farrar 1864 Farrar, Frederic William 1864. 'On the Universality of Belief in God, and in a Future State', Anthropological Review, 2, ccxvii-ccxix
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), in which he argued that the 'existence of some unknown power was not sufficient [...] to prove belief in a Supreme Being', owing to the fact that 'even animals' are conscious of 'some superior unseen power'. Draws attention to Farrar's report of a dog who refused to enter a wood because it was haunted, and recommends this case to the Spiritual Magazine Spiritual Magazine (1860–77) Waterloo Directory
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, not least because it suggests genuine 'spiritual perception' by the dog. Concludes, however, by suggesting that the dog was either 'supernaturally sagacious' or heard talk of the haunted wood.



Punch,  46 (1864), 156–57.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

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Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Religious Authority, Medical Practitioners, Government

People mentioned:

Alfred Smee Smee, Alfred (1818–77) ODNB
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Punch,  46 (1864), 162.

A Trifle from America

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Anon

Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

[Trident], pseud.  [Henry R Howard] Howard, Henry R (fl. 1853) Spielmann 1895
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Specimen Trading, Collecting, Climatology


    Shows a somewhat disappointed-looking woman watching the delivery of a large bison to her door step, a delivery following her recent membership of the Acclimatisation Society Acclimatisation Society, New South Wales
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.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 165–66.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

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Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Military Technology, Steamships, Government


Punch,  46 (1864), 166–67.

On a Late Catastrophe in Pall-Mall

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Jeames Fitzjeames Fitzjeames, Jeames
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Human Development, Animal Behaviour, War, Class


    Describes the 'dis-gusting' sight of the carriage door of George G Leveson-Gower (3rd Duke of Sutherland) Leveson-Gower, George Granville William Sutherland, 3rd Duke of Sutherland (1828–92) ODNB, s.v. Leveson-Gower, George Granville
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being 'torn in peeces [...] by the beestly mob, drored together to welcum GENERAL GARIBALDI Garibaldi, Giuseppe (1807–82) CBD
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, wich I beleeve he have no reglar Kommishun, honly a specie of gorilla hofiser'—an allusion to Garibaldi's status as a guerrilla soldier (166).



Punch,  46 (1864), 172.

On a Snob

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

Environmentalism, War, Politics, Heroism


    The poem addresses a snob 'Who tore branches from the Wellingtonia Giganta Planted by GARIBALDI Garibaldi, Giuseppe (1807–82) CBD
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, in the grounds of the Poet Laureate'. Strongly condemning the action, the poet apostrophizes: 'Oh, might the twigs that thou hast stol'n / Burgeon to life anon, / And twist themselves into a rod, / With Punch to lay it on! [...] May every needle of the pine / That thou away hast torn, / Within the pillows of thy bed / Become a separate thorn!'.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 175.

Our Dramatic Correspondent

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One Who Pays One Who Pays
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Genre:

Regular Feature, Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

Railways, Progress, Human Development, Psychology, Time


    Noting the claim that 'a time may come when SHAKESPEARE Shakespeare, William (1564–1616) ODNB
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will cease to prove attractive', considers the arguments that railways seem to 'have made people less patient than they were at public places of amusement, and less tolerant of anything approaching to longwindedness, which some of SHAKESPEARE'S characters are clearly rather given to'. However, the author does not fear the 'bad time [...] when SHAKESPEARE will be sneered at as being too slow to keep pace with the age'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 175.

A New Family

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Natural History, Comparative Philology


Punch,  46 (1864), 175.

Aërial Musicians

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Music, Environmentalism

People mentioned:

Charles Babbage Babbage, Charles (1792–1871) DSB
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Punch,  46 (1864), 177–78.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

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Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Prognostication, Religious Authority, Astronomy, Government


Punch,  46 (1864), 178.

Medical

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment


Punch,  46 (1864), 183.

Bottom's Dream

View full article text

Anon

Genre:

Song, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Illustrators:

[Trident], pseud.  [Henry R Howard] Howard, Henry R (fl. 1853) Spielmann 1895
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Spielmann, Marion Harry Alexander 1895. The History of "Punch", London: Cassell
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Subjects:

Human Development


    Shows a scene from William Shakespeare's Shakespeare, William (1564–1616) ODNB
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A Midsummer Night's Dream, in which Bottom the weaver has developed the head of an ass and is experiencing a fantastic dream.



Punch,  46 (1864), 185–86.

Great News! Glorious News!

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Anon

Genre:

Drama, Drollery

Subjects:

Mining, Metallurgy, Genius


    To celebrate the tercentenary of the birth of William Shakespeare Shakespeare, William (1564–1616) ODNB
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this 'Elisabethan Masque' features a hymn sung by poets and playwrights from all ages and nations. The hymn praises Shakespeare's brain 'as continent all mines containing, / That breeds all metals without waste or waning, / Red, gold, pale silver, brave brass, iron strong— / The dross of word-play, quip and crank and rhyme— / The rude and heavy matrix of thy time— / The ore wherein thy bedded mental lay, / As diamond in rock, or gold in clay'.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 188–89.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

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Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Military Technology, Steamships, Politics, Government

People mentioned:

John Laird Laird, John (1805–74) ODNB
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Punch,  46 (1864), 196.

Meteorology by a Murphy

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M M
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Subjects:

Meteorology, Race, Cultural Geography


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Punch,  46 (1864), 197–98.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

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Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Metrology, Government


    Responds to news that the 'Metric System is effectually opposed' with the observation 'Dulness carries it', and notes that 'all that is to be done at present is to legalise contracts in which the weights and measures mentioned are metric weights and measures'. Adds that 'Dreadful nonsense was talked' and that members of Parliament Houses of Parliament
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were confused between metres as units of length and poetical metres. (198)



Punch,  46 (1864), 200.

A Word with Spain

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Engineering, Transport, Nationalism

People mentioned:

Ferdinand, vicomte de Lesseps Lesseps, Ferdinand, vicomte de (1805–94) CBD
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Punch,  46 (1864), 204–05.

The Rejected of the Academy

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Art Critic Art Critic
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Genre:

Letter, Spoof

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Subjects:

Astronomy, Representation


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Punch,  46 (1864), 207–08.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

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Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, Patronage, Government


    Notes Frederick Peel's Peel, Sir Frederick (1823–1906) ODNB
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introduction of 'a Bill enabling the QUEEN Victoria, Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, and Empress of India (1819–1901) ODNB
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to grant a lease for 999 years to the College of Physicians Royal College of Physicians
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, in Pall Mall East'. Punch hopes that 'long before that lease shall run out [...] the world will have learned to do without physicians, of any kind'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 208.

Natural Science

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Nutrition, Animal Development


    Insists that 'STOUT, Porter, or other Beer, is the most proper tipple with oysters; since Nature herself often shows us the Oyster and the Purl, coexisting in the same shell'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 209.

Prophecy for the Derby

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Prognostication, Ornithology, Breeding


Punch,  46 (1864), 213.

Intensely Symbolical

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Mathematics, Language


    Describes a friend who 'converses solely in mathematical language', and gives examples of his speech. For example, he addresses 'communications to his cousin, Ensign A., of the Fifth, "n sin5a"'. Explains his ability to read and smoke at the same time with the answer that 'he was one of those men who considered that the pipe and cymbals (symbols) harmonised'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 214.

Brayvo, Bass!

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Anon

Genre:

Song, Drollery

Subjects:

Music, Environmentalism, Scientific Practitioners, Government


    Praising Michael T Bass's Bass, Michael Thomas (1799–1884) ODNB
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introduction of a parliamentary bill for the abatement of street music, notes the lack of sympathy from magistrates for the 'scholar whose brain o'er his volumes reels, / Or a BABBAGE Babbage, Charles (1792–1871) DSB
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abstracted among his wheels'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 214–15.

A Scene of High Comedy

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Anon

Genre:

Introduction, Drollery; Drama, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, Politics


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Punch,  46 (1864), 218.

The Recruiting Surgeon

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Practitioners, War


    Noting the small number of British soldiers engaged in active service, puzzles over an advertisement for temporary Army Army
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surgeons, placed in The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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by James B Gibson Gibson, Sir James Brown (1805–68) ODNB
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, Director-General of the Army Medical Department Army Medical Department
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. Argues that the advertisement has been prompted by a 'surgeon-famine in the Army', caused by regulations which place educated medical practitioners in a subordinate position to 'a lad who is possibly a contemptible puppy'. Thinks that practitioners who do apply for these temporary positions must be engaged in 'unprofitable' practices, and anticipates the resentment felt by a 'gallant young officer' towards a surgeon who is not a snob but has been hired through an advertisement. Noting Charles North's North, Charles Napier (1817–69) ODNB
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statement that there had been six applicants for two hundred Army surgeon positions, hopes that, should he be injured in battle, Prince George (Duke of Cambridge) George (George William Frederick Charles), Prince, 2nd Duke of Cambridge (1819–1904) ODNB
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will be treated by one of these applicants.



Punch,  46 (1864), 220–21.

May Groans

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Disease


    Written by 'a Sensitive Londoner, with a tendency to Dyspepsia and a hatred of Conventionalism, Poetry, and other Humbug', the poem laments the dearth of May months answering 'the poet's description'. Ignoring the seasonal effects of the weather 'on health and digestion' and forgetting the existence of such common afflictions as rheumatism, wonders 'what are the joys of May, / As known in London'? (220)



Punch,  46 (1864), 221.

Our Dramatic Correspondent

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Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

Extinction, Comparative Philology


    Considers that a theatre critic who 'writes anything that is not complimentary, will soon be as rare a creature as the Dodo or a Phoenix', although he believes that such a creature is 'not yet quite extinct'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 225.

Punch's Derby Prophecy

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Punch Punch
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Genre:

Essay, Drollery

Subjects:

Amusement, Animal Behaviour


    Mr Punch's predictions for the imminent Derby horse race, containing his assessment of contemporary events as if they were horses. He spots 'Guerilla' who 'if you'd called him Gorilla, I shouldn't put a monkey on him', while 'Signalman' is not to be 'seen at his post', and 'Jack Frost is out of place in May, and won't be in a place at the finish'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 225.

The Excelsior Bill

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Disease, Cruelty, Human Development, Politics, Government


    Laments the evasion of the parliamentary act 'of twenty years ago' prohibiting the employment of young boys as chimney sweeps. Discusses an attempt by the 'Master Sweeps of the City of York' to stop employing young boys and girls in this capacity, pointing out that 'besides its nastiness, and its obvious cruelty, it is the cause of a malignant disease—for which see COOPER'S Cooper, Samuel (1780–1848) ODNB
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Surgical Dictionary Cooper, Samuel 1809. A Dictionary of Practical Surgery, London: John Murray
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'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 226.

'Peace, Cousin Percy, You Will Make 'em Mad'

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Metallurgy, Mining


    Reports that 'the great metallurgist' John Percy Percy, John (1817–89) ODNB
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'has aroused a revolution in the Mining Districts' by 'shattering' a 'system' with a 'thundering Bomb'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 226.

From our General Theatrical Fund

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Anatomy, Museums, Language


Punch,  46 (1864), 226.

Ornithology for Small Houses

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Ornithology, Collecting


Punch,  46 (1864), 227.

Underground Railway

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Anon

Genre:

Illustration, Drollery

Relevant illustrations:

wdct.

Subjects:

Railways, Transport, Gender


    Shows three women standing before a manhole in the pavement, to which a notice 'The Underground [Metropolitan Metropolitan Railway Company
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] Railway' appears to be pointing, and from which a figure emerges with a lamp. The 'Old Lady' remarks that 'I'm sure no woman with the least sense of decency would think of going down that way to it'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 228.

The Joint-Stock Bubble Companies Bursting-Up Association

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Anon

Genre:

Proceedings, Spoof

Subjects:

Technology, Commerce, Charlatanry


    Reports a meeting of 'this excellent Society', which is dominated by wives and daughters of City speculators and whose aim is to 'discourage speculation, and restrain papas and husbands from blindly running into it' and to use 'female influence' to dissuade 'gentlemen from venturing their money in insecure "securities"'. Various women support the association by relating woeful stories of their husband's imprudent financial dealings. For example, Mrs Seedie laments the fact that her husband lost money by investing in such schemes as the 'Sunbeams out of Snowballs Steam Extraction Company', which caused his money to melt 'as quickly as the snowballs would have done' and in the 'General Oceanic Highway Company, which was started for the purpose of lighting the sea, by means of gaslamps placed in it a hundred yards apart', a scheme that 'succeeded only in making light the purses of those who were investors in it'. Later Mrs Flashley tells of her husband's rash investments in the disastrous 'North and South Pole Junction Atmospheric Railway Company', the 'Popgun and Pegtop Foreign Manufacture Company', and the 'Submarine Anemone Steam Propagation Company'.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 231.

Eyes Right, Volunteers!

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Military Technology, Accidents, Manufactories, Crime


    Discusses correspondence in The Times The Times (1777–1900+) Waterloo Directory
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from 'A SURGEON TO A LONDON HOSPITAL' and 'A VOLUNTEER' who discuss the dangers of using 'cheap percussion caps', ammunition that has removed the eyes of rifle users. Punch links the faulty caps to their 'cheap' composition, but thinks this is 'too much of a piece with the reckless rascality prevalent amongst the present race of commercial men to excite any wonder', although it wonders why 'the officials' who supply ammunition to volunteers have allowed this to happen



Punch,  46 (1864), 231.

Salmon or Whitebait?

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary

Subjects:

Nutrition, Breeding


    Noting that a 'Court of Aldermen' will soon be deciding whether to promote the breeding of salmon in the Thames, explains that the discovery of whitebait inside salmon found in the mouth of this river turns the matter into a choice between salmon and whitebait.



Punch,  46 (1864), 235.

A Pint in Question

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Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Drollery

Subjects:

Animal Husbandry, Breeding, Narcotics


Punch,  46 (1864), 238.

Professors in a Passion

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Ethnology, Controversy, Physiognomy, Phrenology, Human Development


    Lamenting the inability of 'philosophers' to discuss 'skulls' 'without the intercourse of abuse', discusses a paper 'On Empirical and Scientific Physiognomy' given by Cornelius Donovan Donovan, Cornelius (c. 1820–72) DNBS
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at the Ethnological Society Ethnological Society of London
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. Donovan is reported to have ridiculed some remarks by SIR DAVID BREWSTER Brewster, Sir David (1781–1868) DSB ODNB
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respecting the 'system of LAVATER Lavater, Johann Kaspar (1741–1801) CBD
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in contrast to that of GALL Gall, Franz Joseph (1758–1828) DSB
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and SPURZHEIM Spurzheim, Johann Christoph (1776–1832) DSB
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', and Punch goes on to note how Donovan's paper was ridiculed by George Busk Busk, George (1807–86) DSB
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and James Hunt Hunt, James (1833–69) ODNB
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, and 'another gentleman' who condemned the work of George Combe Combe, George (1788–1858) ODNB
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admired by Donovan as 'one of the most trashy publications on a scientific subject which had ever appeared'. Concludes by identifying Mr Punch as 'a decided phrenologist', owing to his 'fine forehead' and someone who believes a 'violent antiphrenologist' has a 'bad' head.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 239.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

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Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Military Technology, Steamships, Commerce, Government


    Reports on the government's purchase of the 'Liverpool Steam-Rams' which were built for the Confederates, and the proposed reforms to the Royal Naval Hospital, Greenwich Royal Naval Hospital, Greenwich
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.



Punch,  46 (1864), 240.

Abbeokuta and Dybböl

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry

Subjects:

War, Military Technology, Race, Cultural Geography


    Describes the atrocities committed by King Glele Glele, King of Abomey (fl. 1858–89) WBI
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of Dahomey and compares him to King Wilhelm I Wilhelm I, Emperor of Germany and King of Prussia (1797–1888) CBD
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of Prussia, in respect of the 'savage attack' of Prussia on Sönderborg in Denmark. Ponders the differences ''tween Dahomey's dark sons, / And your Prussians; the negroes have no needle-guns' and 'Great and grave is the peril wherein the world stands / From the weapons of science in savages' hands'.



Punch,  46 (1864), 241.

Four Gems in One Sitting

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Human Development, Race, Animal Behaviour


Punch,  46 (1864), 245.

Biters Bit

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Medical Treatment, Commerce


Punch,  46 (1864), 245.

Why is MR BASS Bass, Michael Thomas (1799–1884) ODNB
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like a Dentist?

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Music, Environmentalism, Medical Treatment, Medical Practitioners


    'Because he's going to remove the grinders'—a reference to Michael T Bass's bill to ban organ-grinders.



Punch,  46 (1864), 246.

Home and Rome

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Anon

Genre:

Poetry, Drollery

Subjects:

Spiritualism, Religious Authority, Supernaturalism, Miracle, Charlatanry


    Describes Daniel D Home's Home, Daniel Dunglas (1833–86) ODNB
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ban from Rome, a measure reflecting Pope Pius IX's Pius IX, Pope (1792–1878) CBD
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abhorrence of Home's 'contraband' 'spirits'. Concludes by explaining that if Home were to 'get / Up some apparition like that of Salette, / Or cause a Madonna to wink' then he and his spirits might be able to remain in Rome.



Punch,  46 (1864), 246.

Railways

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Anon

Genre:

Reportage, Spoof

Subjects:

Railways, Language


    A spoof report on a proposed railway between the 'Subterranean Metropolitan Metropolitan Railway Company
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and the Charing Cross-the-Thames [a reference to the South Eastern Railway Company's South Eastern Railway Company
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new Charing Cross Bridge Charing Cross Bridge
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] Railways'; a line that 'will be called, "The Under-and-Over-Line"'.



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Punch,  46 (1864), 249–50.

Punch's Essence of Parliament

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Anon

Genre:

Regular Feature, Proceedings, Drollery

Subjects:

Agriculture, Statistics, Government


    Reports on James Caird's Caird, Sir James (1816–92) ODNB
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'able speech in favour of his proposal for the collecting and publishing Agricultural Statistics', a proposal that has proved successful (250).



Punch,  46 (1864), 251.

Public School Commissions

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Anon

Genre:

Instructions, Spoof

Subjects:

Education, Mathematics, Chemistry, Botany, Astronomy, Geology


    A proposed daily schedule for a pupil at Eton College Eton College, Berkshire
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, punishingly designed 'to prevent any Boys from "leaving Eton, in such a state of ignorance as reflects no credit upon the School"'. It includes such prescriptions as '6 a.m.—Rise. Get two propositions of Euclid Euclid (fl. 295 BC) DSB
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by heart while washing, and solve two algebraic equations, settled overnight, while dressing', '6.—Tea, to be taken during a Lecture on Natural Science'. This is probably a response to the Report Report of the Royal Commission on Public Schools: Report of Her Majesty's Commissioners Appointed to Inquire into the Revenues and Management of Certain Colleges and Schools and the Studies Pursued and Instruction Given Therein, House of Commons Parlimentary Papers, Session 1864, [3288], 20, 1–956
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of the Royal Commission on Public Schools Royal Commission on Public Schools
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.



Punch,  46 (1864), 252, 255.

Police Case Extraordinary. Proceedings on Remand, Before Mr Bull

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Anon

Genre:

Proceedings, Spoof

Subjects:

War, Medical Treatment


    Describes the case of 'two disreputable foreigners, Francis-Joseph Charles Hapsburg Franz Joseph I, Emperor of Austria, King of Hungary (1830–1916) CBD
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and Frederick-William Louis Hohenzollern Wilhelm I, Emperor of Germany and King of Prussia (1797–1888) CBD
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', who were charged with 'assault and highway robbery with violence' on Christian Glucksbourg Kristian IX, King of Denmark (1818–1906) CBD
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—a reference to the invasion of the Danish duchies of Schleswig and Holstein by Prussia and Austria. Reports that the victim 'was still unable to move without crutches, and complained of severe internal injuries, causing serious intestinal damage', afflictions prompting his doctors to recommend 'amputation' (i.e. the relinquishment of Schleswig and Holstein). (252)



Punch,  46 (1864), 257.

Latest from Longchamps

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Anon

Genre:

News-Commentary, Drollery

Subjects:

Ethnology, Race

Institutions mentioned:

Ethnological Society Ethnological Society of London
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Punch,  46 (1864), 258.

Shakespearian and Ghostly

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Anon

Genre:

Notes, Drollery

Subjects:

Supernaturalism, Technology, Invention


    Adapting lines from William Shakespeare's Shakespeare, William (1564–1616) ODNB
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Macbeth, reports as a 'New Reading from Shakespeare by PROFESSOR PEPPER Pepper, John Henry (1821–1900) ODNB
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the quotation: 'Is that DIRCKS Dircks, Henry (1806–73) ODNB
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that I see before me?'.



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