Surrounding the calendar are a series of vignettes satirizing several
topical political and social issues. These include a stereotypical Irishman
with a lobster's body and two fish (both with legs) in a scuffle.
Noting the introduction of the block system on the
Midland
Railway Company'sMidland Railway Company
CloseView the register entry >> lines, states that this is 'vastly preferable' to
the 'blockhead system', which cut costs and overworked staff, resulting in an
increase in the probability of accidents.
Crime, Medical Treatment, Education, Medical Practitioners
Notes cases of police officers removing apparently intoxicated people to
police stations when they should have been taken to hospital because they were
really apoplectic and insensible. Regrets that police officers do not have
'medical knowledge', but suggests that if medical practitioners could fulfil
roles as policemen then this would reduce the financial burden of providing
salaries for medically trained men wanting to practice as doctors.
Punch, 58 (1870), 8.
The Jolly Doctors. (Song of the Bill Season. Ex Cathedrá at a
Professional Dinner)
Medical Treatment, Nutrition, Religion, Health, Disease, Human
Development
Begins by citing an extract from the
StandardStandard
(1827–60)
Evening Standard
(1860–1900+)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >>
describing the feast day of St Trofimus, whose bones are said to possess the
power to cure a range of diseases, including gout and lumbago. The poem is
written from the perspective of a greedy cabman who, despite his Protestant
faith, writes to St Trofimus about his passion for good food and wine, his
aversion to exercise, and his contraction of gout. He questions what he has
done 'to earn a punishment so sore' and describes how his doctor gives him
'beastly drugs, and Vichy water for a treat' but insists on letting the disease
take its course. After complaining about the aches and pains caused by his
condition he calls on the saint to cure him.
Pharmaceuticals, Language, Medical Treatment, Disease
Describes the difficulty encountered by the poet in attempting to purchase a
box of
John I. Brown
& SonsBrown, John I., & Sons, Boston, MA CloseView the register entry >> bronchial 'Troches' (i.e. lozenges), since he does not
know how to pronounce the word. Finally asks the vendor's advice about the
correct pronunciation.
Religion, Religious Authority, Cosmology, Astronomy, Scientific
Practitioners, Progress
Begins by relishing the days when 'Europe was dark'—when 'The Church
was at ease, / Men obeyed its decrees' and the world 'went very well'. Laments
that 'When learning revived [...] Men opened the Book, / And thereunto did
look', after which the world 'went very ill'. Believes the time 'When people
believed [...] The Earth to be flat, / Heaven's vault above that' was when the
world 'went very well', although the world went 'very ill' when
Galileo
GalileiGalilei, Galileo
(1564–1642)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> 'Did prove the Earth spun / Around the fixed Sun'. Describes
other times when the world went 'well' and 'ill' and concludes by arguing that
'Since we can't gag philosophers [...] then, / In this day of reverse, / Modern
science let's curse' when 'You'll see how the world will go then'.
Medical Practitioners, Health, Disease, Medical Treatment
Describes how the narrator's doctor, Dr Caspar, unexpectedly visited him
while eating breakfast in a restaurant. He grumbles that 'when a Doctor calls
upon me, as a patient, suddenly, I generally happen to be looking remarkably
well, and all the symptoms that made me send for him [...] have vanished' (28).
When his dining companions have left, the doctor examines him with his
eye-glass and suspects he has 'rheumatic gout' and advises that he takes the
waters and is more careful with his diet. The narrator writes down the doctor's
system for recovering in the spa town of Aachen.
Invention, Nutrition, Meteorology, Medical Treatment
Droll observations on literary sources of invention. Begins by claiming that
the 'original inventor of steel-pens was the founder of Pen-Sylanvia', and
claims that 'Not the least useful of the "Century of Inventions" was the
celebrated Worcester Sauce, first devised by the Marquis in a dream, while
attending the
festival of the Three ChoirsWorcester Music Festival [Three Choirs Festival]
CloseView the register entry >> in the
city from whence he and his condiment derived their title'. Claims that the
name of
Charles
MacintoshMacintosh, Charles
(1766–1843)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> will be immortal 'so long as it continues to rain', that
Edmund SpenserSpenser, Edmund
(1552?–1599)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>
invented 'another article of dress', and that in the library at
Apothecaries'
HallWorshipful Society of Apothecaries of London—Apothecaries' Hall
CloseView the register entry >> there is a 'manuscript account, in cipher' in
Samuel Pepys'sPepys, Samuel
(1633–1703)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> hand
'of his discovery of Pepsine during a long walk in the country'.
Describes the narrator's visit to the spa town of Aachen and in particular
his tasting of the mineral waters. He likens the latter to the 'water at the
PolytechnicRoyal Polytechnic Institution
CloseView the register entry >> [...] after it has
been flavoured by an experimental blowing up of the Royal George under
water, by the Diving Professor, or some other scientific gentleman connected
with the establishment' (35).
Nutrition, Electricity, Electrochemistry, Health, Time, Human
Development
Discusses news that a 'French savant' has discovered a way of artificially
ageing wine by electricity. Suggests that 'stingy people' will be 'ready
purchasers of "choice electro-crusted port", or "fine old cheap voltaic
claret"', but warns that the premature ageing of wine might have a similar
effect on the drinker.
Religion, Religious Authority, Astronomy, Observatories, Instruments,
Meteorology, Astrology, Prognostication
Written from the perspective of a slightly illiterate and confused female
correspondent writing from Rome during the meeting of the
Œcumenical CouncilŒcumenical Council, Rome CloseView the register entry >>. She
tells Mr Punch that she is 'promised an introduction to Father Sickly [the
astronomer
Angelo SecchiSecchi, Angelo (Pietro Angelo)
(1818–78)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>],
who is the Great Astonisher here, as
MR.
HINDHind, John Russell
(1823–95)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> is at home. FATHER
SICKY has a Conservatory ever so high up, and a magnificent
stethescope for what my niece's husband calls Sky-entific matters. He has got a
machine for stopping the earth's motion. FATHER
SICKY (not a nice name) is spoke of here with much reference
as the Great Astonisher, because of his star-telling denouncements'. Later she
mistakenly insists that Galvin, 'the discoverer of galvanism and other
eccentricities', participated in the Reformation, thus conflating
Luigi GalvaniGalvani, Luigi
(1737–98)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> and
John CalvinCalvin, John
(1509–64)
CBD CloseView the register entry >>.
Continues the account of his visit to the spa town of Aachen. Notes the
language problems he encountered on his first visit to the baths, especially
the German attendant's confusion of 'dirty' and 'thirty' when referring to the
water's purity and temperature.
Discusses the proposal to give railway whistles a musical pitch. Believes
this will be welcomed by 'excruciated travellers' and 'tortured householders'
who live near stations, but hopes this will not be 'a pretext for raising the
fares'.
Punch, 58 (1870), 52.
The Insect World. Struggle Between a Rumbler (The Goliathus Gruntator of
ViolinnaeusLinnaeus (or von Linné), Carl
(1707–78)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> and a
Scraper-Beetle (Scarabaeus Performaturus Dolenter).
Shows a large beetle which, on closer inspection, proves to be a cellist
dressed in a tailcoat, with the coat-tails resembling beetles' wings. The
illustrations show the musician opening the cello case and playing the
instrument, as if it were the attack of one beetle on another. They show the
Scraper (cellist) opening the 'cocoon' (cello case) of the Rumbler, which is
tempted out of the cocoon by 'a bit of rosin'. The Scraper seizes the Rumbler,
'ties its long wiry antennae to its tail' (attaches the strings of the cello
from the tuning pegs to the tailpiece), twists its mandibles (tunes it), and
'throttles' the insect (grabs hold of the fingerboard). In the end, the Rumbler
'falls back on its exhausted antagonist', while a Screecher (i.e the cello bow)
'gazes on the Prostrate Giants of the Insect World'.
Notes the controversy over whether
William
ShakespeareShakespeare, William
(1564–1616)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> was vaccinated—a controversy caused by the
discovery of a manuscript in which
John RadcliffeRadcliffe, John
(1650–1714)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>
recalled being told by a relative of his grandfather's nurse that Shakespeare
owed his preservation 'from the dangerous and disfiguring malady then so rife
in England' to a cow. Notes that this cow was subsequently 'treated with the
greatest respect' and that facsimilies of the Radcliffe letter are to be
reproduced by the 'chromophotolithotintotypoxylographic process'.
Pollution, Physics, Gas Chemistry, Experiment, Health,
Amusement
The spoof letter-writer asks his correspondent, Smith, whether his wife
knows about
John Tyndall'sTyndall, John
(1820–93)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>
claim that pure alpine air can be brought into the 'chamber of an invalid' by
cotton wool. Rejoices at this news because it implies that they will not have
to take their wives to Switzerland 'when their health requires recruiting'.
Suggests that when his wife requires pure alpine air, he will simply 'get a
respirator made of cotton wool' and allow his invalid wife to breathe as much
pure air as she needs. Adds that she can gain exercise by ascending Primrose
Hill or
St Paul's
CathedralSt Paul's Cathedral
CloseView the register entry >>.
Military Technology, Invention, Controversy, Experiment, Political
Economy, Spiritualism
Invites the alleged rapping 'sperrits' to reply to
William
PalliserPalliser, Sir William
(1830–82)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> who wrote to
The TimesThe Times
(1777–1900+)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >>
complaining about the expense of the controversy over pointed chilled shot
(Palliser's invention) and shot of flat-headed steel. Criticizes the fact that
so much public money has been spent on 'unnecessary experiments' and wonders
where the 'increasing cost of projectiles stop?'.
Continues descriptions of the narrator's visit to the spa town of Aachen.
During his tedious experience of bathing he has a 'Tremendous Happy Thought', a
'Theory of Origination' that 'will astonish COLENSOColenso, John William
(1814–83)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>,
upset DESCARTESDescartes, René Du Perron
(1596–1650)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>, and
scatter
DarwinianDarwin, Charles Robert
(1809–82)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>
theories, and perhaps create an entire revolution in philosophy and
science'.
Denies claims that
David
LivingstoneLivingstone, David
(1813–73)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> is to be 'cut up and burnt for a wizard' by 'Congo
witchfinders'. Believes he will survive this ordeal as he survived the 'Mavite
marauders'.
Death, Medical Practitioners, Physiology, Vitalism, Controversy,
Politics
Notes that the claim of Dr Pinel (possibly
Philippe C H
PinelPinel, Philippe Charles Honoré
(b. 1828)
WBI CloseView the register entry >>), that guillotined heads 'may live three hours after being
severed', has been ridiculed by the
LancetLancet
(1823–1900+)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >>, which
points out that the deoxydisation of the blood and the shock would kill the
head sooner. Urges Pinel to ask the Conservative party if 'a party may not live
three months without a head'.
Presents an extract describing the invention by 'Somebody in Germany' of a
'machine for enabling men in Parliament to vote as quick as lightning'. Thinks
that the machine will 'save much loss of time' in voting but suggests that it
would be improved if it enabled parliamentarians to vote from their homes.
Notes that this would shorten speeches.
Alarmed by news of a large number of deaths aboard a 'coolie immigrant ship,
from Calcutta to Demerara'. Notes that some of the immigrants died from scurvy,
'a disease that is impossible, if the Government regulations as to provisions
are observed'. Explains that the disease was caused by 'bad' lime juice and
blames this on the 'immigration agents, inspectors, and protectors of
immigrants at Calcutta' as well as 'the owners who bought the bad
lime-juice'.
Describes further remedies prescribed by Dr Caspar to improve the narrator's
health, and later details his experiences in a vapour-bath. While bathing, he
becomes aware of 'myriads' of ants near the bath which prompts him to ponder
the story of
Robert the BruceRobert I, King of Scotland (Robert the Bruce)
(1274–1329)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>
and the spider. He then remember that
Galileo
GalileiGalilei, Galileo
(1564–1642)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> 'made a scientific discovery about the pendulum while
watching a church-lamp during a stupid sermon'.
Begins with an extract from the
Pall Mall
GazettePall Mall Gazette
(1865–1900+)
Waterloo Directory
CloseView the register entry >> describing corruption at a recent election in
Bridgewater, Somerset. Following the 'revelations brought about by the
Bridgewater Commission', the writer insists that 'there can be no doubt that,
for illustrations of design in the natural history of Electioneering, as in
that of Creation, we cannot go to a better source than the
"Bridgewater
Treatises"Chalmers,
Thomas et al. 1833–36. The Bridgewater Treatises on the
Power, Wisdom and Goodness of God as Manifested in the Creation, 12 vols,
London: William Pickering
CloseView the register entry >> between bribers and bribees in that now indignant and
immaculate borough'.
Begins with two long extracts describing the lavish winter clothes that are
currently in fashion. Proceeds to a contrasting extract describing the tragic
story of
John SuttonSutton, John
(1816/7–70)
PU1/58/8/2 CloseView the register entry >>, an
unemployed wheelwright from London who died from starvation and exposure to the
cold on his way to a workhouse. Regrets that this is 'one of four inquests in
the same coroner's district on the same day, ending in the same concise
verdict'. Notes that the guardians at
St
Pancras Poor Law UnionSt Pancras Poor Law Union
CloseView the register entry >> were exasperated by their medical officer
giving certificates describing the starvation of paupers. The writer suggests
that guardians let their paupers starve in order to reduce poor-law rates.
Microscopy, Instruments, Pollution, Analytical Chemistry, Religious
Authority, Politics, Charlatanry, Utilitarianism
Begins by describing the researches of
George
SigersonSigerson, George
(1838–1925)
WBI CloseView the register entry >> of the
Royal Irish
AcademyRoyal Irish Academy
CloseView the register entry >>, who used a microscope to analyse the foul constituents of
city air and the more beneficial components of sea and country air. Suggests
that a more powerful microscope could 'detect in the air its subtler
qualities—say the proportions of weariness, worldliness, and worship,
that make up the air of Church; or the elements of patriotism and pomposity,
vanity and verbosity, the filaments of red tape, and the dry rust of precedent,
that blend in the air of the
House of
CommonsHouse of Commons
CloseView the register entry >>'. Upholds the value of analysing these and similarly
unsavoury elements of the air above
Exeter HallExeter Hall, Strand CloseView the register entry >> and
around the guardians of
St
Pancras Poor Law UnionSt Pancras Poor Law Union
CloseView the register entry >>.
Responding to Fowler's proposal for a railway across the English Channel,
this shows two ludicrously impractical solutions to the problem of spanning
this stretch of water with a railway. The first shows a steam locomotive and
carriages supported on either side by huge canvas wings that appear to be able
to flap and thus allow the invention to fly across the channel. The second
invention shows a steam locomotive and carriages ploughing away from a coast,
closely following the waves, suggesting a railroad built on the sea. Parodying
engineering language, the caption asks why a train should not be 'made to run
so fast that by mere virtue of its acquired impetus acting on the squared of
the distance, multiplied by the hypotenuse of the inclined plane, &c,
&c, &c'.
Includes the interpretation of 'Persicos odi, puer, appartus' as
'Scientific. Apparatus, an apparatus, persicos, for dispersing,
puer odi, the pure Od force'.
Claims that 'one of the greatest improvements in photographic portraiture
can be traced back' to 'DES
CARTESDescartes, René Du Perron
(1596–1650)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>'.
Shows a stable in which an artist paints a portrait of an energetic-looking
horse based on a real, but somewhat tired looking horse which a young stable
lad holds nearby. The caption indicates the kind of horse which the painter
aims to represent: 'In truth he was a noble steed, / A Tartar of the Ukraine
Breed, / Who looked as though the speed of thought / Were in his limbs'.
Urges 'hand-working men who aspire to Parliamentary representation of their
class' to be 'very careful in their choice of fighting-ground' if they wish to
retain 'the sympathy and support of the head-working men in their struggle'.
Criticises them for putting forward a working man's candidate in a Maidstone
by-election where
John LubbockLubbock, Sir John, 4th Baronet and 1st Baron
Avebury
(1834–1913)
DSB
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> was
standing in the Liberal interest. Presents an extract from the
SpectatorSpectator
(1828–1900+)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >>
praising Lubbock as 'an able banker, an accomplished economist and financier, a
man of the widest and deepest scientific culture, a thorough physiologist, a
good geologist, an original writer on prehistoric times'. Emphasises the rarity
of these qualities in the
House of
CommonsHouse of Commons
CloseView the register entry >> and warns working men that if they hinder the progress of
such statesmen as Lubbock they will 'make way for the fox, while the lion and
the bear are worrying each other'.
Consists of a dialogue between two working men, William Putty and James
Filer. They discuss
John Bright'sBright, John
(1811–89)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>
proposal to establish cheap working-men's trains, a proposal to which railway
companies agreed provided that workers did not 'demand more compensation [for
accidents] than a hundred pound a head'. They discuss the reasons why companies
do not invest in railway safety and note Bright's claim that accidents on
railways do not arise from 'intentional neglect'—a phrase that they try
but fail to understand. They conclude by agreeing that what they need are
'trains intentionally made as safe as ever they can be'.
Presents an extract from the
ObserverObserver
(1791–1900+)
Waterloo Directory
CloseView the register entry >>
describing the proposal by the directors of several railway companies to
introduce into
ParliamentHouses of Parliament
CloseView the register entry >> a bill to limit the liability
of their companies for personal injury sustained by a railway accident.
Proceeds to consider railway insurance and insists that only foolish people
would insure their lives with the railway companies, although 'every prudent
person' would insure 'his limbs and living body'. Suggests establishing a
tariff of premiums that depend on the organ to be insured.
Claims that although
Georges L Leclerc, comte de
BuffonBuffon, Georges-Louis Leclerc,
comte de
(1707–88)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>, and
Georges CuvierCuvier, Georges
(1769–1832)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>
were 'professors in the same university, living in the same street, and
employing the same laundress, [they] ceased to speak to each other for sixteen
years and a half, after having been on terms of the closest intimacy, in
consequence of a difference that arose between them at a social tea-party as to
the average width of the stripes on the male Zebra'.
Chemistry, Commerce, Measurement, Metrology, Religion, Religious
Authority, Matter Theory
Discusses an extract describing the French government's refusal to take base
coin from Rome on the grounds that 'the inexorable logic of chemistry' has
demonstrated that 'the Roman lira is only worth ninety-one centimes, and not a
hundred'. Ironically siding with
Pope Pius IXPius IX, Pope
(1792–1878)
CBD CloseView the register entry >>, the
writer argues that if 'the logic of Chemistry is inexorable, the logicians are
excommunicable [...] Chemistry may also persevere in demonstrating that a given
object is composed mainly of oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen, and
carbon—elementary substances. Chemistry be—anathema!'.
Shows a conversation between two bank clerks, one of whom, Gibbon, has
rather simian features. The other clerk asks Gibbon whether he has seen the
performing monkeys, to which he replies: 'Yes! By Jove, it's wonderful. I
believe they'll get monkeys to talk and write soon'—thus implying that
monkeys could do the work of bank clerks.
Notes that a government inspector involved in awarding damages for injuries
sustained during an accident on a line of the
Great Northern Railway CompanyGreat Northern Railway Company
CloseView the register entry >>
argued that some accidents to carriages were caused by '"freaks" which it was
impossible to explain by scientific means'. Thinks that a 'more positive' cause
of railway accidents is freaks of management.
Begins by describing how the rising prices of 'all sorts of oils and
greases' has been caused by claims made by chemists that such raw materials can
be turned into food. Believes another 'triumph of Chemistry' that surpasses the
'extraction of Champagne out of petroleum' is the transformation of Thames mud
into butter. Thinks this will enable
John ThwaitesThwaites, Sir John
(1815–1870)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> to
'turning to account the hundreds of thousands of tons of sewage now poured
weekly from the pumps at
Abbey MillsAbbey Mills Pumping Station, Stratford CloseView the register entry >>'.
Entomological Studies. Showing the Transformation of Three Different Kind
of Lepidoptera, from the Larva R Aterpillar, into the Imago or
Perfect Insect
Entomology, Animal Development, Human Development, Evolution
Shows three pairs of scenes, each depicting how caterpillar-shaped humans
suffer a dreary existence during the day, but enjoy an exciting life during the
evening when they have developed into butterflies. The first pair shows a clerk
turning into the 'Music-Hall Moth, or Nocturnal Cad-Fly', the second
shows a workman turning into 'The Six-Footed Narcissus, or Scarlet
Sesquipealian', and the third shows a girl suffering a tedious life reading
and playing the piano becoming the 'Girl of the Period Butterfly (Puella
rapiduta)'.
Laments the refusal of railway company directors to provide passengers with
foot-warmers—a decision prompted by shareholders' fears that such a move
would prove too expensive.
The writer informs Mr Punch of a recent meeting at London in which
Dr DrysdaleDrysdale, Dr
(fl. 1869)
PU1/57/15/2 CloseView the register entry >>
spoke on 'Medicine as a Profession for Women' and urged ladies to petition the
government to introduce a bill to allow women to gain a license to practice
medicine. Notes
Emily
Faithfull'sFaithfull, Emily
(1835–95)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> argument that there should not be any opposition to this
move as it would allow women to 'return to a work which was essentially
womanly', and
Elizabeth
Garrett'sAnderson (née Garrett), Elizabeth
(1836–1917)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> warning that women must 'become proficient in the healing
art' and 'devote many years to perseverance and study' before they can enter
the medical profession. Points out that the need for 'perseverance and study'
will prevent most women from entering the medical profession and thus preclude
any need for opposition to the movement. However, the author argues that women
should be encouraged to enter 'every secular profession' for which they may be
qualified, including law, the army and chimney sweeping. Insists that 'Women
are no more unfitted to practise medicine than they are to practise music. True
we have no female
HANDELSHändel, Georg Friedrich
(1685–1759)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>,
MOZARTSMozart, (Johannes Chrysostom) Wolfgang Amadeus
(1756–91)
CBD CloseView the register entry >>, and
BEETHOVENSBeethoven, Ludwig van
(1770–1827)
CBD CloseView the register entry >>. Neither are
we likely to have a female
HARVEYHarvey, William
(1578–1657)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>,
HUNTERHunter, John
(1728–93)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>, or
ABERNETHYAbernethy, John
(1764–1831)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>. Women do not
originate things. But it is quite possible we may have a female
SYDENHAMSydenham, Thomas
(1624–89)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>,
HALFORDHalford (formerly Vaughan), Sir Henry
(1766–1844)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>, or even a female
COOPERCooper, Sir Astley Paston, 1st Baronet
(1768–1841)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>'. Believes medical
science might help 'leaven' women and thus end advertisements for corsets, 'low
dresses in high life and high latitudes', death from bronchitis and
consumption, and 'domestic quackery'. Points out that while the medical
profession would be a 'resource' for a 'clever girl' who wishes to 'live
single' and to have a 'soul' and 'body' of her own, it would not debar her from
matrimony. On the contrary, such a woman would be attractive to a medical man,
and to a non-medical man who wants advice about his illnesses.
Introduces a long extract from an unspecified source, describing the great
benefits enjoyed by workers in
Joseph E
Schneider'sSchneider, Joseph Eugène
(1805–75)
WBI CloseView the register entry >> ironworks in Creusot. The extract praises its decent
accommodation, gardens, streets, running water, free schools for children and
adults, broad ranging educational curriculum (including languages and
scientific subjects), nurseries for children, a well-stocked school library,
two Catholic churches, facilities for Protestant worship, decent wages, a
savings bank, and lower crime rates than average. Suggests that these
facilities are better than those provided by 'the greatest and best-managed
English iron-works'.
Draws the attention of
George H
WhalleyWhalley, George Hammond
(1813–78)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> to the recent case of a patient in a lunatic asylum who was
kneed, kicked, and knocked to death by his two 'keepers'. Urges that asylums
and convents ought to be inspected 'as they ought to be, not at set and stated
times, and by blind, owlish boards of guardians, but by paid, haphazard
visitors, whose pay should be increased for every fault detected'.
Written from the perspective of a woman writing about her 'loved one',
describes the behaviour of the 'social Zöophyte', a creature that lives
''neath of social waters, / 'Mid ocean's wildest cells', 'nestling' in 'the
abysses / With fast and foolish whirl'. Notes that other men and women ignore
him in their pursuit of 'faster swains', but that he moves slowly among them
'mute as a quiet fish', and is an 'April Fool'.
Philosophy, Religion, Comparative Philology, Natural History,
Politics, Government
Argues that the solution to the 'Irish problem' may lie in the work of
Emanuel
SwedenborgSwedenborg, Emanuel
(1688–1772)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>, who describes certain 'evil uses' or foul creatures
(notably serpents and frogs) which can be used to 'injure man' but can help
absorb 'malignities'. Explains that unfortunately
St PatrickPatrick, Saint
(373–463)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>
killed off all the vipers in Ireland and thus removed one of the 'evil uses'
which could remove such 'malignities' as 'Fenian journalists and sympathisers
with Fenians', 'agrarian assassins, and incendiary priests'. Accordingly,
thinks that the government should reintroduce adders, toads, and frogs into
Ireland in sufficient numbers as to reduce the 'malignities'.
Explains some of the principal ideas presented in
Caplin 1870Caplin, Jean
François Isidore 1870. The Philosophy of Rheumatism and
Gout, and a New Method of Radically Curing Those Distressing Maladies, Without
the Use of Internal Medicine, London: Trübner
CloseView the register entry >>. Points out that
the follower of the philosophy of rheumatism and gout enunciated in the book
'always walks about a great deal to equalise his circulation, and to work off
in vapour the superfluities which a philosophical turn, generally combined with
a predilection for good living, is apt to introduce into the bodily
system'.
Shows a husband and wife relaxing before a fire in their parlour. The wife
combs her hair and asks her husband where he has been that night. He explains
that he has 'spent a most instructive evening with the "Anthropological
SocietyAnthropological Society of London
CloseView the register entry >>"'—an organisation whose name and activities his wife
misunderstands.
Shows
William E
ForsterForster, William Edward
(1818–86)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>, chairman of the
Board of
EducationBoard of Education
CloseView the register entry >>, sitting in a room before a group of children. Several
clergymen and other officials stand or sit near him. He tells the children that
having been 'gravely and earnestly considering whether [they] may learn to
read' he is happy to tell them that 'subject to a variety of restrictions,
conscience clauses, and the consent of your vestries—you may!'.
The text is preceded by an illustration showing a tortoise escaping from a
hare owing to a tricycle undercarriage and steam-powered body; a smoke-stack
juts out from its shell.
Suggests that there is 'some constant cause existing whose agency maintains
the chronic disaffection of Ireland' and thinks it might be 'a predominance of
O'ZONE'.
Denies reports that the train carrying
Prince EdwardEdward VII, King of Great Britain and Ireland and
of the British Dominions Beyond the Seas, Emperor of India
(1841–1910)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>
and
Princess
AlexandraAlexandra [Princess Alexandra of Denmark]Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain
and Ireland, and the British dominions beyond the seas, and Empress of India, consort of Edward VII
(1844–1925)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> 'narrowly escaped a collision' because 'proper
precautions' are taken to ensure that this does not happen to the royal train.
Suggests that it is 'liberal of Railway Companies not to charge ordinary
passengers by Royal Trains extra for safety'.
Surgery, Light, Invention, Medical Treatment, Morality
Discusses news that a Russian surgeon,
Dr MilioMilio, Dr (surgeon)
(fl. 1870)
PU1/58/13/1 CloseView the register entry >>, has
invented a means of illuminating the interior of the body by electric light.
Anticipates the moral and medical uses to which the instrument will be put,
including the 'detection of ill feelings, and bad workings of the brain'.
Believes that the diascope will reveal the 'black heart' of the criminal, the
sham of the snob, and the deceit of the swindler.
Shows a complex set of geometrical figures which together form a picture of
a woman smoking a cigarette and propping herself up with a walking stick. The
caption invites the reader to prove that several of the angles (notably those
in the woman's narrow waist) are 'absurd'.
Announces that a machine for 'facilitating vote by ballot' is now on show.
Explains how the machine allows only one voter to enter an 'iron house' at a
time, where the voter is presented with 'All the pros and cons for the
different candidates' by machinery. The machine then hands him some money to
pay for his vote and forces him to put his voting slip or 'pill' into the
receptacle in which he has just been paid to put it. The voter is then 'taken
out, by machinery, escapes the hands of an infuriated, or simply inquisitive
mob, by machinery, goes home, by machinery, and spends his money like
clockwork, and lives happily ever afterwards—by machinery'. Adds that on
hearing news of this invention some 'Waxwork Gentlemen' residing in
Madame Tussaud's WaxworksMadame Tussaud's Waxworks
CloseView the register entry >> 'applied
to be admitted to the privilege of electors'.
Reports that the guardians of the
St
Pancras Poor Law UnionSt Pancras Poor Law Union
CloseView the register entry >> propose to appoint a dentist to inspect the
teeth of its
WorkhouseSt Pancras Poor Law Union Workhouse
CloseView the register entry >> paupers. Suggests
that the 'grinders of the aged poor in the St Pancras Union will henceforth be
in a great proportion artificial, and manufactured of porcelain', and points
out that applications for the post should be submitted on April Fool's Day.
These notices include 'A Lecture on the use of Protoplasms (hot) in all
cases of syncope and measles' to be given at the 'Royal Idiotic Institute', 'a
Discourse on Abnormal Absorption in the Vacuum of Fermentation' to be held at
'Colwell Hatchney College' (Punch's parody of
Colney Hatch
AsylumColney Hatch Asylum
CloseView the register entry >>), and a lecture near the
South
Kensington MuseumSouth Kensington Museum
CloseView the register entry >> on 'Sea Botany, with Inquiries into the best mode
of rearing Ocean Currants'. The latter announcement also contains the advice
'Don't come, if you don't like. Cakes, buns, and tea always hot. Lots of fun
when everyone's gone. Ask for Professor S.: a shilling to the policeman will do
the trick. Great larks. Bring your own candle'.
Annouces the invention of 'the Norwegian Self-Acting Cooking Apparatus'
which enables pap and gruel teas to be 'kept hot for an indefinite period' and
nurses to nap instead of 'watching the hob'.
Reports that Mrs Malaprop (a reference to the character in
Richard B
Sheridan'sSheridan, Richard Brinsley
(1751–1816)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> play,
The RivalsSheridan, Richard
Brinsley 1775. The Rivals: A Comedy, London: John
Wilkes
CloseView the register entry >>) has responded to news that
women can act as commissioners of sewers with the comment that 'she knows a
great many poor seamstresses who would be very glad if ladies could give them
work at better wages than they are now earning'.
Describes some of the manuscripts collected by this commission, including 'A
complete series of the great
Lord Chatham'sPitt, William, first Earl of Chatham ('Pitt the
Elder')
(1708–78)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>
washing bills, extending from 1769 to 1776', and 'the report of the Royal
Commission appointed to inquire unto the chemical composition of the matches
found on the person of
GUIDO
FAWKESFawkes, Guy
(1570–1606)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>, signed by the Chairman,
ROGER
BACONBacon, Roger
(c. 1219–c. 1292)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>' (144).
Education, Politics, Crime, Mental Illness, Neurology, Physiognomy,
Phrenology, Human Development, Reading, Religion, Morality, Music
Discusses the ways in which the case of
William MobbsMobbs, William
(1849/50–1870)
PU1/58/14/4The Times, 14 March 1870, p. 11d CloseView the register entry >>, an
agricultural labourer hung for murder, bears upon the question of a fourth R to
be established after the standard three Rs of reading, writing, and arithmetic.
Emphasises that the
Illustrated Police NewsIllustrated Police News
(1864–1900+)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >>
description of Mobbs (with a 'short, narrow forehead and small head, and great
thickness about the base of the skull') shows that he was a 'brutal idiotic
type'. Insisting that 'whatever may be thought' about the 'reality' of
phrenological organs, 'it is undeniable that their names express mental
realities' and are handy for 'talking about the mind and its dispositions'.
Accordingly describes how Mobbs's faculty of 'Language' had been developed so
as to enable him to read, but his education in 'Individuality' and
'Eventuality' had been through reading 'tales of murder', which had in turn
developed his 'Destructiveness'. Emphasizes that the three Rs may have given
Mobbs the powers of 'Construtiveness', 'Form', 'Size', and 'Number', but these
would have made 'no difference' to 'his self-culture of
"Self-Destructiveness"'. Argues that Mobbs lacked the fourth
R—religion—which cultivates and strengthens those sentiments
(including 'Veneration', 'Marvellousness', 'Hope', and 'Benevolence') which
differentiate man from the gorilla, the pig, and other beasts. Assesses the
claim of
John Russell (1st Earl
Russell)Russell, Lord John, 1st Earl Russell
(1792–1878)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> that hymn-singing in schools will be sufficient for this
task and wonders whether rate-payers would be willing to pay for 'the needful
organ and organist' to teach religious sentiments. Concludes by suggesting that
the fourth R could be taught 'through the faculties of "Time" and "Tune"'.
Represents some of strange behaviour of animals at the Zoological Society
Gardens. These include a 'Terrific Encounter in the Aquarium between the
Lobster and the Jack', an ostrich having its head locked into a hole at night
because it is so used to hiding it in the sand during the day, an elephant with
a trumpet bell on the end of its trunk (a 'Study of the Elephant in the Act of
"Trumpetting"'), and a pig and an elephant, 'distant blood relations', 'turning
up their noses at each other'.
Discusses a report in
The TimesThe Times
(1777–1900+)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >> that
Palma, an Italian 'Estatica' or 'medium', has announced that
Nicholas P S
WisemanWiseman, Nicholas Patrick Stephen
(1802–65)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> has come out of purgatory. Wonders whether this suggests
that the papal authorities recognise the mediumship of Palma but not that of
Daniel D HomeHome, Daniel Dunglas
(1833–86)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>,
whom they banished from Rome for being a sorcerer. Playing on the word 'palm',
describes some of the spiritualistic feats performed by Home using his palms,
notably his handling of hot coals. Suggests that Home 'might be conceived to be
able to handle fire himself, however, by means no more occult than a sort of
chemical palmistry, but anyhow surpasses anything that we have heard of
PALMA'. Describes Home's apparent ability ot elongate his body
but warns 'Never believe half of what you hear'.
Gender, Politics, Domestic Economy, Human Development, Animal
Behaviour
Discussing Fawcett's recent lectures on the 'Electoral Disabilities of
Women' (a version of which was published as
Fawcett 1872Fawcett,
Millicent 1872. Electoral Disabilities of Women, London:
Trübner & Co.
CloseView the register entry >>), the writer
attacks her criticism of the separate spheres of action of men and women.
Insists that 'in parcelling life into two great fields, the one inside, the
other outside the house-doors, and in creating two beings so distinct in body,
mind, and affections as man and women, the Framer of the Universe must
have meant the two for different functions'. Insists that 'a similar
distinction runs through the whole animal kingdom' and that 'so long as the
masculine creature keeps aloof from the domain of the feminine, and leaves to
her the nursing and rearing and training of the family, and the ordering and
gracing of the home, there lies a tremendously strong presumption against the
wisdom of the feminine entry on the masculine domain of business and politics'.
Concludes by considering the enfranchisement of women, arguing, 'if Nature had
meant you for the franchise, you would have had it long ago'.
Shows a sickroom in which a man lies in bed and is attended by his wife. At
the foot of the bed, a nurse is seen engrossed in a book. The wife asks who
gave the book to the nurse and the husband replies that he did, which prompts
his wife to chastise him, since he 'knew how important it is that
she [the nurse] shouldn't go to sleep!'.
Shows the strange behaviour and feature of some animals at the Zoological
Society Gardens. These include the 'Raked-Shovel-Mouthed Wild Boar' (shown with
a shovel for a snout), two kiwis sitting on a large egg (the egg is so large
that 'it takes two kiwis to hatch it'), and four illustrations of a hedgehog
stealing an apple.
Notes that at a recent meeting of the
Royal SocietyRoyal Society of London
CloseView the register entry >>
there was a display of the sharp granite pieces used in mending London streets.
Considers these to be 'Instruments of Horse-Torture in the Nineteenth-Century'.
Hopes that the next meeting of the society will include a display of 'a
fragment of the heart of a Vestryman', which is hard enough to allow horses to
traverse hard granite streets. Also hopes this will lead to the indictment of
vestrymen for their cruelty.
Environmentalism, Industry, Pollution, Human Development,
Progress
Responding to proposals to enclose the
New Forest,
HampshireNew Forest, Hampshire CloseView the register entry >>, the poet expresses the hope that he will die before
mammon reigns 'sole master' and the 'Flowers and verdure all have fled'.
Believes the 'blithe and blooming' land of 'Merry England' is fast becoming a
'Land of Philistines' with 'factory chimneys' and model farms. Thinks that if
advocates of the enclosure were turned into 'forms of sordid swine' they would
appreciate 'that Hampshire forest fair'. Wonders whether 'Business men of
pudding head' have pondered
William
Shakespeare'sShakespeare, William
(1564–1616)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> value, and laments that 'drear and sooty' England will
no longer be able to grow 'a race of nobler men'. Concludes with further morose
reflections on the ill-effects of 'a great progressive nation' on the
woodlands.
Discusses a
Daily
TelegraphDaily Telegraph
(1856–1900+)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >> article on the appearance of an alligator in the
River Thames. Anticipates other exotic aquatic phenomena including a
hippopotamus, crocodile, sharks, whales, swordfish, dolphins, and sea-serpents.
Points out that the alligator had escaped from a menagerie and turned out to be
a 'gentle lizard'.
Presents an extract concerning the discovery by a waterman of an alligator
in the River Thames. The creature was taken to the specimen trader,
Johann C C
JamrachJamrach, Johann Christian Carl
(1815–91)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>, who was told by a police constable that he had no right to
detain it. Punch thinks it idle to inquire how the alligator crossed the
Atlantic or to 'speculate on the probability that it escaped from some vessel
importing it for MR. JAMRACH, or for the
Zoological
SocietyZoological Society of London
CloseView the register entry >>'. Speculates that the alligator might be 'a development of
a water-eft [a form of newt]', arguing that if
Charles R
Darwin'sDarwin, Charles Robert
(1809–82)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> 'theory is right, the wonder is that we do not rather
frequently find such a small novelty turn up as that of an alligator in the
Thames'. Finally suggests that it may have developed from 'the
inner-consciousness of an unusually imaginative penny-a-liner'. Finally reveals
that the creature was a lacert (lizard) that had escaped from Jamrach's
collection.
Gender, Amusement, Health, Disease, Medical Practitioners
Describes a meeting of 'fine ladies' at 'Phillis's Rooms' to discuss the
alleged injurious effects of tight-lacing. Most of the ladies are passionate
advocates of tight-lacing and would rather have tight waists than follow their
doctor's advice. Miss Lovelace, for example, claims that tight-lacing has given
her headaches and fainting fits although she discarded her doctor's warnings
and 'obeyed her dressmaker'. Miss Gasper asks what doctors could know about
tight-lacing given that they do not wear tight stays, while Mrs Bonpoint, whose
doctor had warned her that tight-lacing produced a 'fatty something of the
heart which often had proved fatal', says that she 'would rather die a martyr
than dress out of the fashion'—a remark that is met with applause. Other
women complain of the effects of the fashion on the complexion and the
appetite, while still others complain that it makes horse-riding and waltzing
difficult.
Transport, Engineering, Cultural Geography, Nationalism, Cruelty,
Government
Condemns the state of the roads in England and in particular in London.
Noting that these roads are composed of 'shingle and broken granite', contrasts
this situation with that in France where, according to a report in the
Chamber of Agriculture
JournalChamber of Agriculture Journal and Farmer's
Chronicle
(1868–81)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >>, roads are free from mud in the winter and dust in
summer and horses are not forced to grind down the broken stone used in roads.
Believes that if 'foreigners' had the same standard of roads as the English
they would 'curse the Government' instead of Bumbles (a reference to the parish
beadle in
Charles J H
Dickens'sDickens, Charles John Huffam
(1812–70)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>Oliver Twist[Dickens, Charles
John Huffam] 1838. Oliver Twist; or, The Parish Boy's
Progress, 3 vols, London: Richard Bentley
CloseView the register entry >>). Asks
why Bumbles do not 'send steam-rollers about their highways to crush the
granite, flints, and pebbles with which they pave them, into soft powder'; but
this would require a rise in the rates. Suggests that keepers of horses and
carriages could pay a 'horse and carriage rate' for smoothing roads.
Hospitals, Public Health, Education, Government, Futurism
A list of predictions including, 'Somebody will live to see
Christ's
HospitalChrist's Hospital
CloseView the register entry >> removed into the country', 'Somebody will live to see the
streets of London properly cleansed', and 'Somebody will live to see every
child in the land educated'.
Notes
Lyon Playfair'sPlayfair, Sir Lyon, 1st Baron Playfair of St
Andrews
(1818–98)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>
support for a bill to extend the franchise to women, and believes that 'as a
philosopher' he knows 'what women are made of' (190).
Gender, Politics, Government, Human Development, Evolution,
Darwinism
Responding to the recent parliamentary debate on
John Bright'sBright, John
(1811–89)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> bill to
remove the 'Electoral Disabilities of Women', this poem describes the thoughts
of a 'strong-minded Fair-One' who sat in the gallery of the
House of
CommonsHouse of Commons
CloseView the register entry >>. She remarks that although women must sit 'like caged
birds' in the 'ladies' pen [...] Our fate is fore-cast, by Darwinian
selection— / To the floor of the Commons to rise from the pen! / When
once we are "Ladies" confessed "of Election"— / Pretty "Lords of
Creation" you'll be, you poor men!'.
Notes an observation by
Spencer C
Cavendish (Marquess of Hartington)Cavendish, Spencer Compton, 8th Duke of
Devonshire (formerly styled 'Marquess of Hartington')
(1833–1908)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> that the 'Telegraph System is
being extended as rapidly as possible', and indicates that the 'difficulty
seems to be the stupidity of the telegraphist staff'—a problem that is
diminishing. Asks why more women are not 'almost exclusively employed in work
which they could do so adroitly'. (205)
Punch, 58 (1870), 206.
What We Must Expect if Any More Alligators Get Loose in the Thames
Shows two fishermen on a barge, one of whom has caught a small alligator on
the end of his line. This refers to a recent report that an alligator had been
found in the River Thames.
Describes a conversation about Dr Smoothman between several ladies who
praise his charming manner. The husband of one of the ladies, however, had just
seen the doctor's bill for a year's attendance and interjects to complain that
the doctor is a quack.
Hospitals, Human Development, Medical Treatment, Disease
Discusses a recent speech made by the chairman of the
Royal Orthopaedic HospitalRoyal Orthopoedic Hospital
CloseView the register entry >>, who
discussed the number of patients attending the hospital since its foundation
thirty years earlier. Puzzled by the name of the hospital, which suggests that
its beneficence is limited to children, the writer suggests that if it opens
its doors to adults with such afflictions as club foot then it would benefit
from patients who could pay for their accommodation and treatment. Notes the
fee commanded by Parisian physicians for treating feet injured by the wearing
of high-heeled boots and shoes, and warns that a similar fashion in London for
wearing high-heeled footwear will turn feet into 'the semblance of a neat's
tongue' and thus require attention at the Royal Orthopaedic Hospital.
A series of droll observations. For example: 'Cold women are often very
attractive.
FARADAYFaraday, Michael
(1791–1867)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> showed why this is.
He proved that magnetic power increased with reduction of temperature'.
Scientific Practitioners, Discovery, Astronomy, Instruments, Time,
Measurement, Medical Treatment, Controversy, Religion, Progress
A series of accounts of the invention and discovery of common domestic
objects, including the dining-table, the reformed calendar, and the umbrella.
Claims that the dining table was invented by
Galileo
GalileiGalilei, Galileo
(1564–1642)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>. When 'Science was yet in its cradle, philosophy still in
its perambulator' and before the age of 'egg-boilers', 'sewing-machines', and
'asparagus tongs', Galileo 'withdrew from the world about the time that
COPERNICUSCopernicus, Nicholas
(1473–1543)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> discovered
Night Lights', to 'a humble cottage near Amsterdam'. There he contemplated 'the
deep problem which had turned
KEPLERKepler, Johannes
(1571–1630)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> white, prematurely
aged
TYCHO
BRAHEBrahe, Tycho
(1546–1601)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>, and wrinkled, untimely, the capacious brow
and benevolent form of our own
NEWTONNewton, Sir Isaac
(1642–1727)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>'. In his 'tapestried
chamber', dressed in 'his Oriental dressing-gown and Eastern slippers', Galileo
paced his apartment 'with eager, restless steps'. Early one morning after
spending a night handling 'Plans, diagrams, calculations, sketches, models', he
emerged into the 'unpeopled streets' with the cry of 'Ευρηκα!
Ευρηκα! [Eureka!
Eureka!]' and imparted to a cabinet-maker 'his immortal invention of the
telescope—dining-table'. Proceeds to describe
Pope Gregory
XIII'sGregory XIII, Ugo Buoncompagni, Pope
(1502–85)
CBD CloseView the register entry >> 'Reformation of the Calendar' and his invention of 'Gregory's
Powder'—a substance 'first compounded by his private physician in the
Baths of DIOGENES towards the close of the proceedings'. Also
describes the controversy among antiquaries over the date when the umbrella was
first introduced into 'this damp climate'. Notes that 'that great Batvian
scholar' and fellow of the
Royal SocietyRoyal Society of London
CloseView the register entry >>,
Wetstein, has challenged Waterland's notion that it was introduced during
Oliver
Cromwell'sCromwell, Oliver
(1599–1658)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> protectorate, insisting that the umbrella first appeared
during the reign of
King Charles
IICharles II, King of England, Scotland and Ireland
(1630–85)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> who 'set the fashion of using an umbrella, as a protection both
against sun and rain'.
Announces a recent meeting of the 'Intellectual Gymnasts, a Society
principally consisting of Geologists, and Physiological Philosophers', many of
whom 'exhibited the most wonderful capacity of jumping at conclusions'.
Geology, Palaeontology, Scientific Practitioners, Class
Shows a bespectacled 'Scientific Pedestrian' standing before a sweating
north of England 'Excavator' who stands, pick axe in hand, in a shallow hole.
Responding to the scientist's question whether he had found any fossils, the
excavator remarks: 'Dunno what you calls "vossuls". We finds nowt here but muck
and 'ard work!'.
Taxonomy, Animal Development, Human Development, Evolution
Presents Mr Punch's criticism of 'the fashionable A.B.C. Dispatch Box' and
notes Mr Punch's suggestion that the invention could be improved by dividing
the box into types of humans rather than alphabetically. Mr Punch's
classification system includes such categories as 'Asses', 'Bores', 'GladstoneGladstone, William Ewart
(1809–98)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>',
'Nobodies', 'Ungrateful brutes', and 'Zoophytes (mankind generally)'.
Astronomy, Heat, Light, Energy, Mechanics, Utilitarianism,
Class
Begins with a report describing the time period during which the heat
generated by the impact of Mercury and Jupiter on the sun would 'cover the
solar emission'. Suggests that those who enjoy this calculation will also like
to calculate 'what amount of enlightenment' and 'increase in heat of their
debaters' would be caused by smartly knocking together the 'heads of dense
body', such as poor-law guardians.
Exploration, Physical Geography, Discovery, Religious Authority,
Heroism
Discusses a
North German CorrespondentNorth German Correspondent
(1869–70)
German Correspondent
(1871–72)
BUCOP CloseView the register entry >>
article on the likelihood of Columbus being beatified as a saint. Believes the
need to establish that Columbus did perform a miracle is amply supplied by his
discovery of America.
Punch, 58 (1870), 228.
Tempora Mutantur (Apropos of the University Tests Bill)
Describes the dispute between various leading statesmen over the bill to
abolish religious tests for students entering
OxfordUniversity of Oxford
CloseView the register entry >> and
CambridgeUniversity of Cambridge
CloseView the register entry >> universities. Notes that
'Twixt Dissenters on one side, the
POPEPius IX, Pope
(1792–1878)
CBD CloseView the register entry >> on the other, / And
HUXLEYHuxley, Thomas Henry
(1825–95)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>, who Faith under
Science would Smother; / With her tests torn away, and her orders made delible,
/ Sequestrations unlawful and livings not sellable; / Her King Storks thrust on
one side, to raise her King Logs, / The old Church of England is gone to the
dogs'.
Notes
Frank I
Scudamore'sScudamore, Frank Ives
(1823–84)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >> appeal to 'all sensible people' to protect telegraphic
apparatus from 'idiot boys' who make 'cockshies of the insulators'. Believes
there is no more legitimate 'postage duty' (the
General Post
OfficeGeneral Post Office
CloseView the register entry >> being in control of all land telegraphs) than dealing with
such individuals.
Notes the debate over the abolition of the game laws and the withdrawal of
the adulteration of food bill. On the latter issue, Punch wonders why
'artisans do not take it up' because it 'affects them almost exclusively', and
notes that
Lord Eustace B H G CecilCecil, Lord Eustace Brownlow
Henry Gascoyne-,
(1834–1921)
WBI CloseView the register entry >> and
other statesmen 'adduced cases' of adulteration that would 'almost make the
imperturbable Mr. Punch indignant' (232).
Notes the existence of 'an A.B.C. Company for utilising sewage by
solidification' (for which
William
CrookesCrookes, Sir William
(1832–1919)
DSB ODNB CloseView the register entry >> is a consultant director). Pleased to see 'a Company for
this purpose that has got as far as the first three letters of the Alphabet',
because no such firm has succeeded in 'making its mark'.
Discusses extracts from a report of the annual meeting of the
British Anti-Tobacco SocietyBritish Anti-Tobacco Society
CloseView the register entry >>.
Challenges the claim that smokers are irreligious and 'generally tipplers'.
Ridicules the notion, attested by doctors, that smoking is responsible for 'The
great majority of diseases afflicting mankind'. Concludes by berating the
society for its gross generalisations.
Offers an eccentric account of the invention of scissors. Notes that
Flavius
JosephusJosephus, Flavius
(c. 37–c. 100)
CBD CloseView the register entry >> claimed that 'many centuries came and went after the needle
had penetrated domestic life' and that '"the glittering forfex", like the
discovery of steam, and printing, and portable soup, and pomatum, has been
claimed by various nations, many eras, and different individuals', although it
is difficult to determine 'with any approach to mathematical accuracy' who
deserves 'a niche in the Temple of Fame'. Punningly identifies many English
candidates for the title of the inventor of scissors, including
Richard SteeleSteele, Sir Richard
(1672–1729)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>
and
John B Holroyd (1st Earl of
Sheffield)Holroyd, John Baker, 1st Earl of Sheffield
(1741–1821)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>.
Begins with an extract describing the
Royal Botanic Society of
London'sRoyal Botanic Society of London
CloseView the register entry >> annual exhibition of plants, flowers, fruit, and works of
art. Praises the society for its display, but wishes to know its 'secret'
method for 'preserving flowers and fruit fresh and good for so many weeks'.
Begins by comparing present with past wisdom. Insists that, unlike our
ancestors, we no longer believe in witches, warlocks, 'ghosts that whipped
through key-holes, and their spirits that laughed at door-locks', exorcists,
the 'miracle-mongering monk', 'alchemy, transmutation, and astrology'. Claims,
'We don't say "Stop!" to Science, when it contradicts theology: / And
HUXLEYHuxley, Thomas Henry
(1825–95)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> has no need to fear
BRUNO'SBruno, Giordano
(1548–1600)
DSB CloseView the register entry >> fate, or
GALILEO'SGalilei, Galileo
(1564–1642)
DSB CloseView the register entry >>, / And primary
cells and nerve-force veneramur sicut Deos'. Notes how we 'esteem the
march of mind', in particular 'a talisman called "Competitive Examination"', /
To draw the collective wisdom to the service of the nation'. Identifies other
signs of progress, including men's hostility to women 'for doing away with the
differences of sex, and its [electoral] disabilities', the conflicts between
'Labour' and 'Capital' and 'matter with mind', and the fact that
self-government and centralization have neutralized each other leaving both 'in
stagnation'. Describes the phenomena of modern spiritualism, including
Daniel D Home'sHome, Daniel Dunglas
(1833–86)
ODNB CloseView the register entry >>
ability to float and handle hot coals, and the spiritualist healer
F L NewtonNewton, Dr F L
(1810–83)
Fodor 1934 CloseView the register entry >> 'out-Homing
HOME' with his spiritualist healing practices. Concludes by
suggesting that 'for all our march of intellect, and our monarchy of mind'
there are more gullible audiences for imposture than impostors: 'There's never
a Reynard the Fox, but he draws his tail of fools behind; / And there's never a
quack that quacks, but he finds green geese to echo his quacking'.
Baffled by a list of strange trades recently published in
The TimesThe Times
(1777–1900+)
Waterloo
Directory CloseView the register entry >> the
writer offers his own interpretations of what they involve. For example, 'Zebra
Dress Manufacturers' prompts the remark that 'On application at the
Zoological GardensZoological Society of London —Gardens
CloseView the register entry >> we learn
that there is no demand there for articles of clothing of this description.
Perhaps animals confined in travelling menageries may require them'. Believes
the existence of 'Flyer Makers' will delight the
Royal Aeronautical SocietyRoyal Aeronautical Society
CloseView the register entry >>, while
'Woolley Teeth Makers' is apparently being investigated by 'A Committee of
Dentists'.
Spiritualism, Mesmerism, Photography, Representation, Charlatanry,
Magnetism, Medical Treatment, Quackery
Begins by introducing
F L NewtonNewton, Dr F L
(1810–83)
Fodor 1934 CloseView the register entry >> as an
American 'medical thaumaturge and spiritualistic mesmeriser' and 'healing
medium'. Notes from an advertisement in the
Medium and
DaybreakMedium and Daybreak
(1870–95)
Waterloo Directory
CloseView the register entry >> that Newton sells 'magnetised' portraits of himself,
the proceeds from which go towards promoting spiritualism in England rather
than to Newton himself. Believes Newton's portraits are 'just as efficacious in
the cure of any disease as his mesmeric passes are' and that it is better for
'any sufferer' to purchase a portrait than 'universal pills, or any other
description of quack medicine' because even 'the sceptic must admit that he
would rather look at a photograph than swallow a pill'. Speculates whether
Newton magnetizes his portraits, pointing out that according to his followers
'he heals the sick like winking'. Suggests that it is sufficient for Newton to
think of his patients 'and at the same time outstretching the fingers of one
hand, whilst the thumb is applied to the tip of his nose'.
The writer tells Mr Punch of his interest in two birds recently added to the
Zoological Society GardensZoological Society of London —Gardens
CloseView the register entry >>.
Notes that naturalists have explained how the 'male bird breaks open the bark
of the tree within which lies hid the grub on which they feed; and the female
pulls out the worm and presents her mate with half the meal'. Notes the
similarity between the behaviour of these birds and that of ducks.